Yes, I think Ben is HOTT! I like men... I love men, they are the most wonderful dessert on the dessert buffet called life...Chickies, it has come to my attention that some single gals out there are embarassed to be single! Listen up girls, being single is not a curse, it is a blessing, a state to be treated with much celebrating joy!
First, think about whom is making you feel bad about being single and consider their agenda:
Your Mother. She wants a wedding. She wants grandchildren. Let's remember that your mother is just doing her job. She wants to see her little chickadee leave the nest and settle down. She wants someone to protect you from burglars in the night. But imagine if you married some bonehead off the street. Then we would hear her cries and moans. Remember, your Mom is just doing her job, but secretly she wants you to hold out for Mr. Right.
Other married people. Now why is it that married people want you to get married? Why do they care? Well, it could be that they sincerely want you to experience the joy of marriage. This accounts for about 10% of these busybodies. Or it could be that they need you to get married to justify their lifestyle? Or it could be that they are jealous of your life and want to see you having to pick up someone else's underwear off the floor the way they do? Or it could be that they don't want you hanging around their spouse, displaying your cute self and your single ways? The point here is that you shouldn't assume that these people have your best interests at heart.
You. Now this is the most serious critic you may have. Think about WHY you feel bad. Make sure you are letting go of the expectations of other people and think about what you really want for yourself. Maybe you do want to get married but haven't yet found your soulmate? Remind yourself that you can have a damn good time while you look. Or maybe you are perfectly happy with your single lifestyle but have concluded that being single means there is something wrong with YOU. Silly, silly glam girl. We are pretty sure that you are a completely gorgeous, desirable babe who either a) hasn't found someone good enough for you, or b) who doesn't want to be shackled to some other person EVER!
And, in case you forgot, here are a few of the many, many benefits of being single: 1) you have privacy to call your friends, write letters, and wear oatmeal facial masks; 2) you don't have to compromise on anything; 3) you don't have to live with anyone else's dirt or bad habits; 4) you can spend your money as you see fit without having to justify your purchases to anyone; 5) you can have sex with as many people as you want! Just use a condom okay?
Dating more than one man at the same time? Go for it!
Dating . . . .
Sometimes, there is not one damn man for miles around and you feel like you've signed up for the nunnery. Other times, there are three men, all vying for your attention. Here are some guidelines for juggling men in times of plenty:
Get a calendar: If you are dating several men at the same time, by all means, keep a calendar. You're not going to be able to keep all those dates straight without one. And make sure you guard your calendar like the crown jewels. No peeking for any of those boys. What you do on your time is none of their business.
Keep their names straight: There's nothing worse than calling your date by the wrong name. If you start getting confused, just call them all "you devil" as in "oh you devil, you didn't need to bring me roses AGAIN."
Be honest: We're against cheating. If you actually agree to be monogamous with a guy, they we think you should stick with it. But in the early stages of dating, why limit yourself? If you feel the need for complete disclosure, just say "I'm dating other men." No need to go into the gory details.
Be cool: Let's say you're dating Adam and Burt. If you go on a date with Adam and you run into Burt, what should you do? Don't freak out! Just be friendly toward Burt as you would if you ran into any other friend. You can introduce them if you want. If nothing else, this will make Burt try even harder to win your affections.
Sex . . . .
Ok, now you're dating Adam and Burt and Charles -- can you have sexual relationships with more than one of them? Well, this is one of those things that's completely up to you based on: 1) whether you want to; and 2) your own moral code. The only guideline we have here is USE CONDOMS (this applies whether you decide to have sex with one of them or all three). Have a stash of condoms in your purse and in your apartment. And don't be shy about whipping one out at the right moment. We don't have to tell you that there is not one glamorous thing about getting a disease. And if the guy gives you a hard time about using condoms, dump his sorry ass!
I'll Call You
Today we would like to speak to those women out there who have not yet cracked the code of date-speak. Countless women have heard their date utter "I'll call you" and interpreted this to mean that he was going to call them. We are here to tell you that the phrase "I'll call you" in dateland actually means any of the following: "I'll call you," "I won't call you," "See ya later," "Bye," "Thanks," or "I need to wash my car." As you can see "I'll call you" has no actual relation to a telephone or the use of the telephone to make a phone call to you at any time in the future.
Now knowing this, you may wonder, "how do I know if this man is going to call me?" Well, you don't. At the end of your date, you may have a strong intuition as to whether he liked you and whether the date went well. The problem is that having a great time on a date does not necessarily lead to future dates (and having sex with him also has no relation to whether he will call you again). Why, you ask? Maybe he likes someone else more. Maybe he has to go out of town. Maybe his dog is sick. Maybe his Mom is sick. Maybe it's football season. Maybe he's hooking up his new stereo. The message here is: If he calls you again, take it personally. If he does not call you again, don't take it personally, as there is only a 50% chance that his not calling you has something to do with you.
Should you call him? Well that completely depends on what sort of people you are. If you are two old-fashioned sorta kids then you should wait on him, as you both see that as his role. If you are mod young folks, call him! However, we should warn you that if he hasn't already called you (as many men still see this as their responsibility), there is a chance that he's not interested. On the other hand, he may really want to hear from you, or wants you to take your turn initiating a date. Isn't this complicated??
The solution, of course, is to hire a gypsy lady from the circus to look into her crystal ball to show you what he plans to do. With this new insight, you will be able to go about your business without wondering what's going to happen next. Or, you can just go about your business anyway, focusing on your life, your friends, your family, your job, your fun, other men . . . and see what happens.
The Should Knows
How to fall in love without losing yourself.
How you feel about having kids.
How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
When to try harder and when to walk away.
How to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.
How to have a good time at a party you'd never choose to attend.
How to ask for what you want in a way that makes it most likely you'll get it.
That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.
What you would and wouldn't do for love or more.
How to live alone, even if you don't like it.
Who you can trust, who you can't, and why you shouldn't take it personally.
Where to go -- be it your best friends kitchen table or a charming inn hidden in the woods-when your soul needs soothing.
What you can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, a year.
Why they say life begins at 30.
My Love is Like
Whoa!
©pogirlfriday 2004