As I sit on my balcony at 6 am listening to the sounds of summer on the breeze.
The birds twittering to the new day.
Where is the peace I used to find?
Now with you gone, the bright mornings are dimmed.
My heart still torn apart with anguish.
Like a twisted longing for Fate.
Yes Fate came through my computer gate.
Love entered my heart and brightened my days.
I gazed into the face of love beyond time and place.
The words that flowed in me, were strangled by reality.
Reality is brutal, how it can make a dream an impossibility, with it commplications.
For a short time love was all, now it is a flame that burns forever
But the passion will it ever be.
The arms I need to hold me will never be.
To enwine my arms, my body around the man
I loved and lost to reality.
Only time would have changed this outcome.
This loss that will bear it's scars in me forever.
Only time was not there.
The door shut and the hurt goes on.
Will it never end this hurt within?
The beauty and caring destroyed by lack of trust that it was ment to be.
Why did we throw it away with such ease?
One had not the faith to wait for the path to clear.
The other just waits on desinty.
Each day long, filled with the words I speak to my love.
As if he was here. I talk to him.
Hold his hand and gaze into his loving eyes,
With the light of love in mine.
In the dark of the night, my arms reach out to hold him close.
To feel the passion in his touch.
The tenderness of his kiss.
The growth of desire rising as a storm in our bodies.
Growing towards the fulfillment of our union.
The heights of senuality.
To cover each others bodies with our kisses.
To feel, to touch, to taste it all.
I still read his words and die a thousand times inside.
The yearning, the longing.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
When will the images of this love go.
The anguish end. Never? Do I doubt?
Maybe it was just me that loved so much.
The doubts creep in.
Was his love not strong enough to take the test of time?
Maybe reality slammed into his face too.
I know he is there, in his real world
If fate is kind, then why this strife within?
Why did I have to learn to dream?
Is it better to dream and then to know your loss?
Maybe it would have been best to stay behind our walls.
But with love we took down each brick.
I tried to rebuild as fast as I could.
Carelessly destorying.
In panic and reality
Reality and it's wounding touch?
My email is empty.
I check it a thousand times.
Nothing.
Yet I know, inside that someday we will be together again.
I believe we are fated to be.
Just maybe not in this reality.
Maybe in another place, another time, another century.
My arms are waiting.
Keep me in your heart, though I can't reach you.
I know you feel my heart calling through space and time.
When it is right for you, I will be here.
Waiting, waiting as I always will.
Through eternity.
Memories Within - Martyca - 13/08/03
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