. . . Here's a few from the ladies
50 things guys wish girls knew? PLEASE - 50 things guys NEED to know . . . this is what's really going on in our heads
1)if you think you have a "move", you better keep trying
2)if i always call you by a nickname, it's because i don't know your real name
3)if i hooked up with you on saturday, don't expect me to say hi to you on monday on the way to class
4)if i DO say hi, your name is going to be mike. i don't care what your real name is, it's mike now
5)it's shaved already, how about you try some grooming . . . yea down there
6). . . and shave your face
7)if you leave clothing behind, it's now mine you're not getting it back ever
8)if you see me in that clothing, it doesn't mean i like you
9)if "it" was bad, don't ever count on hooking up with one of my friends, they already know
10)food is the way to my drunken heart
11)if i sound interested in the threesome you had, it's not that i want to try it, i want to know what skanks were involved . . . for your sake, i hope it was 2 girls
12)iron arm - let's get over that, i don't want to cuddle
13)the only girls that like getting donkeypunched are the punch-faced girls
14)if you get me a drink, it's on
15)i don't care how old you are, circumsize it FREAK!
16)don't sleep in my bed, you stink up the sheets
17)if you have a small penis, be embarrassed . . . all my friends will know in the morning, shorty
18)my boobs are not radio dials, do not treat them as such
19)if you don't see me in the morning, it's because you passed out and i left; if i stay over, it's because i passed out, i didn't want to stay
20)if all i ever hear about you are stories that you piss the bed, why do you THINK i won't stay over?
21)2 words: WORK OUT
22)3 more words: i faked it
23)if i hook up with you, it's not because you're good-looking, its a little phenomenon known as beer goggles
24)if you think i'm measuring it, i probably am - my hand is exactly 6.42 inches long, hope you make the cut!
25)if you bring me to an event where i'm expected to wear a dress, i expect ass later . . .p.s. i'm not wearing any underwear
26). . . and if i am, it's a thong
27)if i don't have sex with you, it's because i already slept with too many of your friends, but you'll make it to third base
28)you're not as good at anything as you think you are
29)don't POKE me with it
30)complaining about how you don't get any ass will get you no sympathy from us, there must be a reason
31)if i use a vibrator in front of you, i guess you couldn't complete the job
32)sweatpants: NOT attractive
33)when wearing dress pants, shirt, and tie, your chances of getting ass increase by 58%, it's scientifically proven
34)EXCEPTION: tapered leg pants decreases your chances by 82%, also scientifically proven
35)we're using a condom because i heard you're a dirty slut
36)be cautious, if i can steal something, i will
37)if my girlfriends have a nickname for you that starts with an adjective . . . its bad
38)i want nothing to do with your balls, all i ever hear is that they're hairy, sweaty, and itchy
39) . . . fix some of those problems and i'll rethink it
40)2 minute man . . haha . . be embarrassed
41)we analyze your walk: swagger = big dick, speedwalk = small dick; don't try to acquire a walk, we can tell real from fake
42)if the rhythm was off, don't cry about it to me 6 months later, i might still hook up with you
43)if i have to resort to using my teeth, you're taking too damn long and i want to leave
44)if you cheated on me and think you got away with it, too late, i already know and guess what? i did too
45)if you wear leather pants - you should have come out of the closet when they did
46)if you're pale and don't work out, NEVER EVER wear beaters
47)boys black out, we don't - yes i know all the things you said/did/tried
48)when you call at 3am i know what you're after, if i answer it i must be alone and want ass too
49)Scrub your fucking balls. And use soap. Sweaty nuts are rank.
50)if i give you head, you're not sleeping until the favor's returned, buddy.
. . . if any of these sound familiar, CONGRATS, i probably hooked up with you
Written by a few respectable Penn State ladies . . . if that helps your questioning mind
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50 things guys wish girls knew
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