I. Tests
A. cheat sheets
Ok, the first way are with the good old fashion cheat sheets. These are the most simple way to go either than looking at somebody else's paper. I have found that the best way to make these are by making them on a computer at home. Use font 12 times new roman and print out as many 2 by 2 inch sheets as you want. Ok, now the tricky part is using them during a test. Before you go into the test, put each sheet into a different pocket and remember which one is in which. You don’t want to be scrambling around during a test! Ok, now the teacher has passed out the tests and you got one. Do all the questions you can possibly with out cheating (the less time you have your notes out, the better). No that you’ve finished everything you can do, you realize how stupid you are, but smart at the same time (because you figured out to use the sheets). Aright, so when the teacher is distracted or not looking, pull out a sheet and put it right on top of your test and align the text of the sheet to the text on the test (the sheet is practically invisible because the font of the sheet and test mach). Now you copy. When you are finished with a sheet, EAT IT!!! The last thing you want is to loose one in the class room for a teacher to find.
B. Copying off another person
Ok, there are a few ways this can be done, but if you want to do it correctly when there is a teacher around, it usually takes more than one person. It also needs some form of synchronization, which is where cell phones with vibration alerts come in handy, but you can also use coughs or sneezes too. Anyways, the first thing to do during the test is to have one person signal another person (the phone vibration or the cough can be the signal) to ask a question to the teacher, by either getting the teacher to come to their desk, or by going to the teacher's desk and standing in front of them. That person with the teacher should ask some question that would take a "bigger" explanation, such as things like "I don’t understand this question", or "What do you mean by this", or just anything basically along those lines. So now that one person has the teacher distracted, the second person is free to do whatever they want. It is better to have more than just two people cooperating, because having a person going up to ask a question more than twice is kind of suspicious.
C. The big switch
This is a way that I came up with for one of the greatest cheats during an essay test. The only two flaws with it are that one, you need to know the question ahead of time, and two, if the teacher has you write on their own paper (such as colored paper), there is no use. Ok, anyways, you don’t get out of writing the essay, actually, you have to write two ones to make this work. The first on, you write at home (not on a computer you moron) an keep it safe and not wrinkled. The second one should be written during the test, don’t have it completely full of bullshit if something goes wrong, you will need to turn that one in. Anyways, during the test time, write out the essay like everybody else, and actually put some thought into it, because things do happen and you may need to turn that one in, but usually you wont have to. Now when people are starting to finish, wait to be like the 10 person to hand in their test. But don’t hand in the one you wrote in class, had in the one you wrote at home. And there you have it.
II. Homework
A. Essays
Essays are one of the hardest pieces of homework to cheat on; because a teacher who knows your style of writing will be able to tell what is your work and not. Also, most teachers like to have drafts, and furthermore, parents usually like to check essays. Ok, so the first step is by gathering a few essays, book reports, websites, and so on and so on. Now your research is done. It is time to put the stuff to gather and make a final draft. Make sure that you change the order of sentences and to use a thesaurus (like the one on MS word) to make it sound like your writing. You are now done, seems pretty simple, eh? But its not because usually not just a final draft is usually required, and turning in a paper that is basically perfect as a "first draft" is not the most believe able thing. So from here, you work backwards. Save a copy of the final draft to "un-edit". For the first draft, make it shorter, put in less ideas, and put in less complex words (for example, put "also" instead of "furthermore"). And from there on, you want to make every new draft sound better. Now you got some rough drafts to hand in and something to show to your snoopy parents. This sounds a lot less time consuming that it really is, so don’t save this to do on the last day, but it still is much easier than making your own essay. B. Work sheets and questions out of a book Usually the people who are willing to let you cheat off their answers are fellow cheaters and the kids who do all their homework are at most willing to help you with the work. This is a problem because if the only people you can cheat off of are other cheaters, there is no work to copy. (If you didn’t understand that you should not even try cheating you are so stupid). To overcome this problem, you take advantage of the “help” that the do-goodies will give you. This is easiest on your computer using an IM, because lying to somebody on that is much easier than in person. So anyways, what you do is divide up the questions into a few sections of two. Now you ask these people who are willing to help you for two answers, by saying something like, “I don’t get numbers blah and blah, can you just give me the answers?” They will probably give you the answers because it is just two, which seems like nothing (because if you ask form one, that is just a little help to you, and if you ask for three, they will probably tell you to do it yourself). You ask this to a few people, and there you go, your worksheet, questions, or whatever are finished in a matter of minutes. This is also good to not be caught because handing in a paper that is exactly the same as another person’s one will likely get you caught, but handing in a paper with many other peoples’ work, you probably won’t be. But I still recommend you change around the stuff just in case.
III. Stuff that you have to be crazy to do
DISCLAIMER: Before you do any of these, be aware that I have never tired them because the penalties are too extensive if you are caught, with a risk that is, at least what it seems to be, as too high. However, theoretically, these would work. Make sure you know the consequences of your actions if you are caught.
A. The first way to get basically anything you would like to do in a classroom. This is done by a cooperation of two people (it is helpful if there is a boy and girl, because a boy is stereo typed to cheat more than a girl is, also, cell phones with vibration alerts are needed.) The first thing you do is it get the first person to tell the teacher that they need to go to the bathroom or to their locker to get something. That student that leaves the room and walks to another side of the school (it is more helpful in a bigger school). The student would put on a glove, best to be latex if available, and would have to pull the fire alarm. The new fire alarms usually have ink jets in them to mark the person who pulled it, so the person would have to stand with their body flat on the wall as far as possible form the trigger, and use the glove to pull the alarm. As once it is pulled, move aside quickly to escape the ink jet (the standing with your chest to the wall with your arm outstretched to the trigger is so you already won’t be in most of the jets range.) It is also useful to have an old sweatshirt in your locker so if any ink does get on you, just take the sweatshirt off and throw it sway with the glove. (Don’t wear the shirt to school that day, just keep in your backpack, so if somebody finds it, they won’t know it’s yours.) Make sure you pull an alarm far form your classroom, it would also be good to do it during another classes’s lunch shift. Now you run into the bathroom and stay there. Now this is where person number two comes in handy, they will SMS the first person once the class has left the class room. Now the first person can run back into the classroom during the confusion and take or change whatever they needed to do inside that room. DON’T SPEND MORE THAN 2 MINUTES IN THERE!!! Leave the room and go outside where another class is, form there, make your way back to your class and say that you didn’t know where you were supposed to meet. Job’s done, risky, but it gives you time with the grade book, the teacher’s computer, blank tests, and more.
I have tried all the stuff in this except for the stuff in section III, the stuff should work, i have an IQ of 134 and i devote it mostely to cheating, i mean whats the fun w/o it?
i will be updating this every time i think of something up, if you have any ideas, please email me at
bjmasta@hotmail.com
