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Bonving is the sport of kings. Actually I've just told a little white lie. It's actually the sport of drunken eejits with nowt better to do at a weekend. Which is why it is so perfectly suited to the English, and why we had to form the Official UK Bonving Championships.

The original sport of Bonving is played by teams of 2 players, with the help of standard-sized plastic office bins and a size 9 brogue (preferably made by the Swedish shoe company Bonving, whence the sport got its name). Unfortunately the manufacturing industry in this country has deteriorated to such a degree that the bins are sloppily-made and all too easy to break by a flying leather brogue, and so the UK rules allow the use of a leather trainer (no canvas thank you) with laces taken off.

Rather like boxing, the title can be challenged at any time, but these rules must be followed and officials present. So the first attempt was born on May 26th 2003 in Regent's Park, a day that shall go down in history as National Bonving Day. The winners of this inaugural title-fight were Andrew Ward, OBE and Nickyboy/Neil/Nancy Sheffield Esq.

The next challenge will take place on 14th June 2003 in Highbury Fields, TV's London. This will be an all-comers tournament, and if you would like to present a team you can e-mail me here.

The Rules of Bonving
Pictures of Oafs Bonving