Too old to play ? Not even a girl ?
Still there for football every Sunday morning ?
(and training every Tuesday)
Fear not. Help is now at hand.
WE PRESENT OUR GUIDE TO SURVIVING GIRLS FOOTBALL...
ESSENTIAL KIT
WELLIES
Not just sensible footwear, many supporters claim these can be a fashion
statement.
Green appears to be a popular colour, we have observed. Also available,
surprisingly, in "sparkly".
FOLDING CHAIR
You WILL be waiting between matches. Do it in comfort. Available in a range
of lurid colours.
This is so you can have one in such a revolting colour that no-one else will
want to sit in it.
This is a good thing, because you are not as young as you once were.
They are not particularly stable, but this can be handy when a cheeky young
thing refuses to
give you back your chair, because they can be tipped out with a minimum of
effort.
Always stay alert to young people sneaking behind you and giggling. Dignity is a
fragile thing.
THERMAL UNDERWEAR
Some supporters swear by these. Some supporters swear without them. Not
particularly fashionable,
but they do keep you warm on those cold Sunday mornings.
THERMOS FLASK
You keep a hot drink in it. Did I mention those cold Sunday mornings ?
Alcoholic beverages are generally frowned upon during the morning.
(Is this why the Under 13s always played in the afternoons ?)
A HAT
Keep your head warm. You don't have as much hair as you did when you were
younger.
You can try for stylish, but you will fail.
MISCELLANEOUS ENTERTAINMENTS
AND DISTRACTIONS
This is mainly for those of us who bring along other siblings, and can include
such items as Gameboys,
footballs etc. There is nothing worse than hearing the words "I'm
bored!".
SNACKS
Pop, chocolate and crisps, or something more healthy if you are on a diet, or
you are a goody-two-shoes
(or you would like people to think you are a goody-two-shoes). Also helps to
keep other siblings quiet.
UMBRELLA
Surprisingly, it occasionally rains, and it can be a devil to convince the girls
that it really is raining
too hard to carry on playing, and we really should all be at home in the warm
and dry.
MONEY
Those children will find a shop in the middle of nowhere. You may also be
approached by a smiling lady
asking you to buy a raffle ticket. Do not be fooled. This is not really a
request.
At tournaments, you will also be expected to shell out for a burger or hot dog,
and perhaps various
entertainments for your daughter and any brothers and sisters.
SUNGLASSES
You will never get the chance to wear them, but we live in hope, and almost
everyone looks cool in sunglasses.
FINGERLESS GLOVES
Here, we are back to cold Sunday mornings, and the fact that you will be asked
to tie up bootlaces at least
once every Sunday. It is a strange fact, that bootlaces never seem to come
undone when they are dry and clean.
GARDEN VILLAGE SHOWER JACKET
You had one for Christmas for a reason. You may even have your name on it. Do
your best to keep warm and dry.
It wont work, but you have to try. Some supporters have also been spotted zipped
up in what can only be described
as some sort of strange waterproof sleeping bag that you sit down in. Not as
cool as sunglasses, but definitely warmer.
WATER BOTTLE
This is your daughter's water bottle, but keep it to hand.
It will, of course,
be YOUR fault if she cannot find it at half-time.
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