Emma Watson

Aah, Emma Watson. We all know her from the Harry Potter movies. Cute girl. The only problem is, she obviously cannot pick out a good outfit to save her life. Let's dissect, shall we?

Note: This will be in chronological order, from when she was smallest to...now.

Good. Lord. What on earth?! It's a shapeless lump of gray with a bit of purple that makes the outfit worse.
As much as I grimace at this outfit, I forgive her... I mean, it was her first premiere. So I'm cutting her some slack.

*groans* Oh, where to start. Okay. The color of the outfit...how can I put this nicely... NOT GOOD.
It strongly reminds me of a lizard. Plus, the whole thing looks two sizes too big on her.
I call this one... attack of the swamp monster. Better luck next time, Emma.

Oh. My. Lord. I didn't put the rest of her on here because... it almost literally burned my eyes.
The top is way too tight. And she seemed to have spouted a huge amount of chest...

At the premiere of Scooby-Doo. Emma looks her age. Sure, it's not the best outfit, but it works on her, and she looks pretty cute.
The only problem I have with this is the fact that this was about two months after the last picture,
and her chest seemed to have deflated a considerable amount...

I actually like this outfit, but not on her. Emma isn't body-developed yet to wear this.
The bad thing is the gold shoes. The outfit makes her look alligator-ish.

What. The. Hell? It's the attack of the toilet paper dress! Oh my lord.
The shoes don't match either, and the outfit is just...wrong. Just wrong.

Where to start. The dress is okay. Not good, but not bad. Then, you get to the biker boots and the leather jacket...
her conflict was whether to go as grandma or a biker chick. Those two just don't work together.

Yeah. Well. She's showing a lot more skin than Shakira, a labeled sex symbol.
Well. That's just nifty, isn't it?

Well. That was a rather skimpy outfit to wear to a kids award show when you're only THIRTEEN.
Skipping aside from that, the pants are ugly. Really, really ugly.

The top, ugly. The pants, ugly.
I've almost given up hope by now that she'll show up anywhere in something decent.

Oh. My. Lord. I was right to give up hope on her. What the hell is this?
I heard that it was a Dolce and Gabana dress that was somewhere around 3000 dollars.
All that money, wasted. The dress is heinous, it shouldn't have been made. PERIOD.

Compare this to the first Scooby-Doo premiere. Last time, she looked so innocent. This time? How can I put it nicely... I can't.
She looks like a two-bit whore. See-through shirts are not right under any circumstances. None.
And I think she definitely knew it was see-through, because of that flashy gold bra underneath. Classy. Not.

*groans* The jacket... okay let's not even go there.
It just doesn't work for her.

Emma on TRL. She looks like a plastic toy soldier. And her underwear is showing.
Please, do us a favor Emma, and pull your pants up.

What the *BEEP* is this? It's a lumpy, frumpy grayish greenish puke dress. It's ugly.
It does nothing for her shape, nothing... it just does nothing. It's fugly.

Emma! *groans* Please, please, please either get a good stylist or fire your current one. This dress is heinous.
It makes you look like a really, really, raggled witch. Everything about that dress is wrong. Spare our eyes. Please.

This outfit...not bad...definitely not good. I don't htink the girl knows the definition of the word "matching".
The skirt is odd, and the jacket makes her look...lumpy.

When I first saw this, I was like oh, maybe she's wearing a decent outfit.
Then I got to the shoes, and I almost barfed.

Don't care much for the shrunkedn top. The jeams would be okay if they ACTUALLY FIT.
That's twice now I've seen your underwear, Emma dear. Please, spare my eyes.

Not bad! Actually, I think this is her best outfit. Except for the shoes. But good job, Emma! I applaud you.

Except for the trainers, Emma actually is wearing a decent outfit. Gasp.
The only problem other than the fact that the whole outfit looks a bit on the plain side is that she has no chest whatsoever here.
Unlike the last pictures. It amazes me...

Just when I thought she was getting out of her fashion crisis stage... This outfit... the jeans are fine.
The jacket is fugly. FUGLY. It's a green...thing. *shudders*

Now, I actually like this dress... but not on her. It's too big, it swallows her whole, and the shoes and purse don't match...
the shawl makes it worse. Emma, stop trying to be Asian, for the sake of all the Asians out there.

Ladies and gentlemen... Emma Watson. Oh my good lord. What the hell is she wearing?
This, honestly, has got to be the worst outfit ever... need I say more?

Gags. Nope, Emma is back in her slump. This dress... is really, really bad on her, and made worse by the shoes.
Lord. She looks shapeless and lumpy.

Um... too much. Vest over what looks like... thermal undies? Not good.
And please, get the pants out of the boots... the outfit is confusing.

Premiere of Wedding Crashers. Something is seriously wrong here... the vesty thing over the white shirt looks odd.
The pants are too loose and make her look... stumpy. And she seems to have an obsession with ballet flats.
Is it just me or does she look younger here than... well... two years ago?

Aaaaand... at the premiere of Valiant... she wore the vest to the premiere of Wedding Crashers.
Didn't work there, definitely doesn't work here either.

Dan and Rupert are in here to spare my eyes. The dress doesn't flatter Emma one bit, and her bra is showing.
The ugly tweed jacket around her, is, well, ugly. And camouflage converse?!

Um... where to start. The dress, first of all, is okay.
I don't like it, but since it's one of the best that she's ever picked out, I'll cut her some slack.
Then... headband?! WTF?! It doesn't work with any dress, and it's just ugly.
Again, her obsession with ballet flats... sad. Doesn't match, and once again makes her figure look stumpy.

Much. Better. I personally don't favor this dress, as it's just too frumpy and too long.
It's too simple for my taste. But compared to some of Emma's earlier heinous outfits... this is good. Believe me.

And... Emma follows a good outfit with a truly bad one, completely destroying the trust gained in the last dress. This one... ah.
The filmy blue layer on the shoulder doesn't work well. The dress itself is fine util we get past the waist...
that's when the frills that should be on a snow jacket are displayed. Not good.

...Oh. My. Lord. What on earth is this? The purple jacket is mismatched and fugly.
The jeans are amazingly low and tight... I can see her underwear.
I honestly wanted to puke at the sight of those shoes. I can't say anymore... still recovering.

A really big blown up picture of that horrible dress and shawl Emma is wearing.

Oh my lord. Those pants! Those stupid shoes! STOP WEARING THEM, EMMA, because FYI, THEY LOOK TERRIBLE ON YOU! And the jacket really is no better.

Why are you wearing that stupid jacket again? It looked horrible the first time, and doesn't look better now. The skirt is fine. But that jacket makes me puke.

Well, it's not so much the fact that she's wearing a bad outfit as the fact that she's drinking illegally... Corona. Way to destroy your innards, Emma.

Good, news, the dress is cute...
until you get to that weird light blue streak in the middle of the dress.
From then on, it goes downhill...
I don't think Emma understands the concept that black Ugg boots don't match any dresses.

Ummm...I feel like I don't really need to say anything here. You all have eyes...and enough with the boots!