Toy Talk
Volume XXXVIII
By Mark Patraw
Posted on 4/28/14
It took a ridiculous amount of time to get this photo set-up; balancing Furbies on a Decepticon's shoulders is not a task for the easily frustrated.
I didn't plan it that way, but this week's assortment of secondhand toys turned out to be nothing but Happy Meal fare. Starting on the left, we have a 1992 Mattel/McDonald's Barbie Rose Bride figurine (twenty-five cents "girls awesome" grab bag on 4/23/14); to the right of her is a 2000 Ragdoll Productions/McDonald's Teletubbies Laa-Laa plush clip-on (an item in one of the two twenty-five cents "girls" grab bags I purchased on 3/14/14); next to Laa-Laa is a 2013 Hasbro/McDonald's Transformers: Prime Breakdown figure (twenty-five cents "boys awesome" grab bag on 4/23/14); balancing precariously on that Decepticon's shoulders are three 2013 Hasbro/McDonald's Furby Boom! critters, two sky-blue Googly Eyes Furbies and a hot pink Playful Eyes Furby [Googly Eyes Furby #1 (an item in one of the two twenty-five cents "girls" grab bags I purchased on 3/14/14); Googly Eyes Furby #2 and Playful Eyes Furby (both were in the twenty-five cents "girls awesome" grab bag on 4/23/14)]; and, finally, stacked up on top of one another, on the far right, are a couple of 2011 Nintendo/McDonald's Pokemon: Black/White creatures, Zoroark, on top, and Zekrom, on the bottom [Zoroark (twenty-five cents on 11/9/13); Zekrom (twenty-five cents "boys awesome" grab bag on 4/23/14)]. If anyone reading this knows more information about any of these items, that I haven't already discussed below, and would like to share, or just chat about toys, feel free to e-mail me and let me know!
Cheeseburgers and french fries always make a man or woman's heart yearn for marriage, or was it ketchup? I forget. This is a 4.3" (10.8 cm) tall 1992 Mattel/McDonald's Barbie Rose Bride figurine. In addition to this wedding-themed doll, the eight-figure assortment also included Snap 'n Play, Sparkle Eyes, My First Ballerina, Rappin' Rockin', Roller Blade, Sun Sensation, and Birthday Surprise ladies. What's interesting about McDonald's three earliest Barbie promotions ('90, '91, and '92), at least to me, is that they're all immobile statues with sculpted, rather than rooted, hair, which are notable differences when compared to the modern, articulated fast food Barbies with comb-able, synthetic tresses that I'm accustomed to (contrast Rose Bride with the 2005 Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus Rayla I reviewed back in Toy Talk Vol. XXXIII to see what I mean).
While the woman herself has fairly soft detailing, the dress, tiara, and veil sport quite a bit of embellishment, like beadwork, ruffled trim, lace, and roses. It's subtle, but I appreciate that her dress is an "off" white (although, admittedly, that shade may very well just be a byproduct of the twenty-two years that have passed since this toy was manufactured) contrasted with a pearlescent silver finish on the underskirt, shoulder ruffles, and veil. As I already mentioned, she doesn't have any moving parts, so the pose you see is all you're ever going to have. The flared bottom of the dress provides a wide surface area, allowing her to stand, unassisted, very well. The doll is hollow, so Rose Bride weighs less than you might expect (which is something that Ken will doubtlessly appreciate when it comes time to carry her over the threshold--throwing out your back is a surefire way to ruin the honeymoon).
Given her bridal attire and size, this Barbie figurine would make a great, and inexpensive, wedding cake topper, assuming that you can find a suitable groom to go with her (alas, there is no matching Ken in this particular set of toys). Granted, if you're not a Caucasian woman with long, wavy blonde hair, the Rose Bride probably isn't going to be a very good likeness, but, provided your build/features aren't too different, you could try giving her a custom paint job to more closely approximate your own appearance.
As a plaything, I'm mildly disappointed with her complete lack of joints and sculpted hair, but, viewed solely as a display piece, the Rose Bride doll is an attractive and welcome addition to my Barbie collection.
Teletubbies say, "Eh-oh!" This is a 2000 Ragdoll Productions/McDonald's Teletubbies Laa-Laa plush clip-on. In addition to Laa-Laa, her comrades Dipsy, Po, and Tinky Winky rounded off the four-figure assortment. Teletubbies was an extremely-popular British children's television program that also aired in other countries, including the United States of America. The Teletubbies name is a direct reference to the television screens embedded in the four main characters' bellies (represented by the blue rectangle on this figure). Laa-Laa was played by the actress Nikky Smedley on said show.
Laa-Laa's face (which is rather creepy-looking in my opinion), internal gripping armature, and clip-on are all made out of hard plastic; the rest of her body is composed of soft polyester. The quality of Laa-Laa's materials and stitching are both great, which is typical of McDonald's stuffed animal offerings. The character is very simplistic in form/appearance, but that's how she looked on the show too, so, I can't fault them for that. Laa-Laa can't stand independently, but she'd be 4.5" (11.5 cm) tall, at the tip of her antenna, if she could.
Laa-Laa has a clothespin-like spring armature, concealed inside her arms/torso, that allows her to grasp anything that will fit between her yellow mitts. Her grip is pretty tight--it pinches enough that it feels mildly uncomfortable if you put her on one of your fingers. Considering that Laa-Laa already has that built-in capacity to hang onto objects, the huge clip-on clasp, dangling from the back of her head, seems even more pointless than usual. At least they went to the trouble of designing it to look like her unique antenna, so, I'll give them props for that.
Jade wanted a kitten, but I brought her home a leg-humping Teletubby instead.
Jade is no longer speaking to me.
When I was younger, I wouldn't have been caught dead in the possession of Teletubbies anything--my reputation, pathetic as it was, would simply never have recovered. Now that I'm older, I could care less if anyone knows that I have one. I can't say that I really have any interest in the Laa-Laa character though, other than as a memento of pop culture. She's a nice enough plush figure if you are a fan of the franchise.
When the Autobot Bulkhead told me that he wanted to get hammered tonight, I doubt being on the receiving end of his Decepticon rival's fists was what he meant. Here we have a 2013 Hasbro/McDonalds Transformers: Prime Breakdown figure. Prime is a computer-animated television show that focuses on everyone's favorite changeable robots. I watched the entire first season, but I haven't caught any of the newer episodes since then (it was only when I started doing some research for this article that I learned Breakdown, who's voiced by Adam Baldwin, was killed off recently, and that his broken body was then repaired and taken over by the human Silas--Breakdown wasn't my favorite or anything, but I think he deserved better than that). In addition to this hulking Decepticon warrior, the six-robot assortment also included Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, Megatron, and Starscream. Normally, the bad guys get the short end of the stick, in terms of numbers, so, I was pleased to see that McDonald's did an even 50/50 split between Autobots and Decepticons. The Transformers: Prime Happy Meal toys are pretty common finds at thrift stores--over time, I've seen all six of them in the toy bins, but Breakdown is the first one to come home with me so far.
The Prime incarnation of Breakdown is much bulkier and intimidating than the original Generation One version (who was one of the Stunticons, the Decepticon sub-team that combined to form the gestalt Menasor). While it's not 100% on model, the toy does a pretty good job of approximating the "bruiser" look and feel of the CG character, although the figure's backside and hammer heads are arguably ruined by one of my personal pet peeves: large numbers of ugly, hollow "pits" that reduce the amount of plastic used to make a toy, cutting down on manufacturing costs. Breakdown has four points of articulation, but they're all pretty much tied to his action feature. Repeatedly pushing Breakdown's left thigh inward causes his upper torso to rotate around-and-around, which, in turn, spins his swinging arms via centrifugal force. You can lock his "loosey-goosey" shoulders, by pivoting them all the way upwards until they snap into place, or you can just let them hang free; either way, the revolving action still works. I imagine that seeing those rapidly spinning hammer-ended arms coming at you would be enough to give even the bravest of Autobots pause. I believe that only one of his hands changed into a hammer on the show, but two is definitely cooler. Breakdown doesn't transform, none of the McDonald's Transformers: Prime toys do, but, if he did, his alternate mode would be an armored truck (like the ones that transport money to-and-from banks). At the top of his itty-bitty head, Breakdown stands 4.0" (10.1 cm) tall.
Comparison with my (bootleg) Transformers G1 Breakdown toy.
I like this figure, provided that I ignore the plastic-saving measures that make the backs of his arms and legs look like an open-pit mining operation. The action feature works well and he's a cool-looking robot from a show that I enjoyed watching. Besides, I'd feel bad ragging on him too much now that I know that the poor lug is dead (obviously, my respect for the recently departed does not extend to refraining from making him tote around Furbies on his head and shoulders).
Back when I wrote about the Wild Hair Furby, in Toy Talk Vol. XXV, I prophesied that I'd probably end up with a complete set of Hasbro/McDonald's 2013 Furby Boom! figures, whether I wanted them or not. Well, I'm halfway to that dubious "goal" already! Today, I'll be looking at Playful Eyes Furby (the hot pink critter) and two copies of Googly Eyes Furby (the sky-blue ones). In addition to the three that I've accumulated so far, the six-creature wave also includes Laughing Furby (white), Light Up Eyes Furby (purple), and Wobbling Furby (aquamarine). At the tips of their ears, both the Googly and Playful Eyes Furbies stand 3.1" (8.0 cm) tall.
The wave pattern on Googly Eyes Furby's belly is a nice touch, which, along with its overall color scheme, implies that this is an aquatic or shore-dwelling critter. I've never thought of Furbies as inhabiting watery environments, but, their anatomy is so goofy anyway, sure, why not? In my geographic area, this particular Furby seems to be much easier to find than any of the other varieties from the assortment--in addition to the two that I own, I've seen several others sitting on the shelves, or lying in the toy bins, at the thrift store.
Googly Eyes Furby's action feature--and it's a stretch to even title it as such--is that the black eyeballs are loose spheres that can roll around freely inside the transparent eye chambers when you shake or tilt the toy. Big whoop, right? If nothing else, the fact that they have depth give the Googly Eyes Furby's peepers a much more realistic appearance than the "flat" lenticular eyes of the other figures in this Happy Meal assortment.
I'm sure that somebody reading this thinks it looks fabulous, but Playful Eyes Furby's hot pink and spring green color scheme is a bit too much for my tastes. The black stripes on its chest are kind of snazzy though. It's also worth mentioning that, while they may look identical, the sculpt of the Playful Eyes Furby is slightly different than the Googly Eyes Furby: the fur pattern isn't exactly the same and its tail points in the opposite direction. While that's admittedly not much, it does show that the sculptors/designers made an effort to shake things up rather than just using the exact same base body for all six figures. Little things like that count in my book.
U-nye-loo-lay-doo?
(Furbish for "Do you want to play?")
Just like the Wild Hair Furby I wrote about in the past, Playful Eyes Furby has lenticular eyes, so, its expression changes as you view it from different angles. While I still feel that's a neat way to approximate the dynamic digital LCD eyes of the full-size Furby Boom! toys, I am disappointed that McDonald's resorted to "double-dipping", using the same gimmick on two figures from the same wave.
Dear God, they're multiplying! Grab your shotgun and hide the women and children!
As I've commented in the past, while they have different color schemes and action features, if you've seen one Furby, you've seen them all (you're pretty much just buying the same thing, over-and-over again, with minor cosmetic variations). That said, I will admit that they're starting to grow on me a bit, and a display of several of them isn't without its charms. Out of these three (well, technically four, but doubles don't count), I still like Wild Hair Furby the best, but Googly Eyes Furby isn't far behind.
Gotta catch 'em all . . . or at least eight of them. Here's a pair of 2011 Nintendo/McDonald's Pokémon: Black/White creatures, Zoroark (the fox-like one with the red mane on the left) and Zekrom (the dark gray dragon-like monster on the right). In addition to this duo, you could also get Pikachu, Reshiram, Oshawott, Tepig, Snivy, and Zorua (which also happens to be the immature form of Zoroark). As both of mine are loose, secondhand samples, I don't have any, but, brand new, all of these toys should come with 1-of-12 randomly inserted Pokémon: Trading Card Game playing cards.
Zekrom was first introduced in Generation V (Pokémon: Black/White) and is the mascot for the White version. The creature is an extremely-powerful and rare Dragon/Electric Legendary-type Pokémon. To me, Zekrom strongly resembles a stereotypical 怪獣 ("kaijuu", literally "mysterious animal/beast" in Japanese), the type of giant monster that Godzilla, Ultraman, etc. regularly tangle with. Zekrom also reminds me of the Final Fantasy VII incarnation of Ultima Weapon (which had a similar design and color scheme, except that it had four hind-legs). All-in-all, I really dig the physiology and dark coloration of this critter--Zekrom is the type of toy that I would still love even if it was just some generic, nameless dollar store beastie.
Zekrom has three points of articulation: rotating cut joints at the shoulders and base of the tail. The wings are attached to the upper arms, which has the added benefit of allowing you to adjust their position along with the forelimbs. The tail, due to its thickness/shape, looks much more like an insect's abdomen (it's actually an electrical generator), and it also essentially functions as the third "leg" of a tripod, so, Zekrom is very stable in a standing position. Ignoring the wings, the monster is about 3.5" (9.0 cm) tall at the tip of its head crest.
Like Zekrom, Zoroark, who is a Dark-type Pokémon, also made its first appearance in Generation V (Pokémon: Black/White); in fact, it, and its immature form, Zorua, have the distinction of being the first new Pokémon creatures revealed to the public from that particular game. Zoroarks are master illusionists, capable of fooling humans, and other Pokémon, with convincing false images, particularly when it comes to protecting the location of their kin and den.
The sculpt is decent, albeit a bit plain--other than its bright-red ponytail/mane, nothing about the monster's overall design really stands out to me. Zoroark has rotating cut joints at the shoulders and mid-torso. The figure is pre-posed, leaning to the left, so it tends to look a bit awkward when you turn the torso. Due to the upper body and hair being molded from hollow plastic, Zoroark also feels a bit insubstantial/cheap (Zekrom also has hollow parts, but it's more noticeable on this one). At the top of the highest point on its mane, Zoroark is roughly 3.4" (8.6 cm) tall.
The primary reason I bought the McDonald's Zoroark was to replace this armless one that I got in a big bag of toys back in October of 2013. The incomplete Zoroark is a 2011 JAKKS Pacific version--it's molded from solid PVC, which gives it greater heft/durability, and it sports a more-detailed sculpt, particularly on the spiked tufts of hair jutting out from the long mane. For a while, I entertained the idea of making the JAKKS one new arms, from scratch, but, my regular readers can probably guess how likely that is to occur (i.e., never). As always, I question the judgement of thrift store employees/volunteers that feel that it's acceptable to sell toys with missing limbs, heads, or other substantial damage. Just throw that kind of stuff away or recycle it, don't pass it off on your customers, especially not poor kids.
I'm putting all my money on Zekrom; Zoroark doesn't have a chance in hell of surviving this battle.
As I've mentioned in the past, I pretty much lost all interest in the Pokémon franchise after the first batch of titles (the Gameboy, Gameboy Color, and Nintendo 64 era). So, for better or worse, I've never played any of the games that these two creatures appear in. Zoroark's design isn't terrible, but it also doesn't do much for me. On the other hand, I really love the Zekrom figure. Out of the remaining six critters in this assortment, Zekrom's white counterpart, Reshiram, is the one that interests me the most, but Tepig and Snivy aren't bad either.
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