IHOP sucks

I'm sure anyone who stays glued to the idiot box 24 hours a day has seen the IHOP commercial where they brag about how you can eat as many pancakes as you want for only $3.99.  That is flagrant false advertisement.  The commercial should really be something like this, "Come to IHOP and try our all you can eat pancakes.  Hopefully you won't die of old age while you wait for your second plate.  And if you keep waiting patiently to get your moneys worth, we'll just ask you to leave."  Let me tell you a story. . . . . . .

Me and my friend Harry (HARRY_BALLS) decided to go take advantage of this of this deal and went out to eat there the other night.  When we got to our table, the Mexican waitress came up to us and said in horrible English, "What do you want your plate to look like?"  We took this as to actually mean, "What do you want to order?"  We told her and then proceeded to wait for over 15 minutes for 2 plates of fucking pancakes.  I could have cooked the damn things myself at my house in a lesser amount of time if I wasn't so lazy.

So we downed the first order of pancakes in a record 39 seconds.  Then waited.  And waited.

And waited.

Then we got pissed.

"Hey terrible English speaking lady (a.k.a. high school dropout), what's it going to take to get another order of fucking pancakes!?"

Normally we wouldn't have gotten that upset, but since it was midnight and there was no one else there, shit just had to the nail the fan.

So the manager comes out and tells us that if we keep our voices down, we'll get our order.  FUCK THAT SHIT!  Was that in the fucking commercial? Hell no!  We were promised all you can eat pancakes and by God we're going to get our fucking pancakes.

So me and Harry sprung into action.  We started by simply beating the shit out of the manager, just because he was the most recent thing that pissed us off.  We didn't even have to hold this guy off.  He did it himself when he punched Harry in his fatty gut, getting his fist caught in his layers upon layers of flab.  When we were done with him, we went into the kitchen and turned on the pancake making machine.  After about 243 pancakes were made, we figured that we had had enough.  So we pilled into Harry's pimp mini-van and side swipped a pinto on the way out.

Come to think of it, IHOP is a great place to hang out.  You get to beat the shit out of bad managers, shitty cars, and still get to get away with ALL THE PANCAKES YOU CAN EAT!


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