Hello kids, Tubby here with another true adventure from the life of Tubby Nevada. This is the set up, and to all you tubby types, you will love this one.
I have a brother who I love dearly, he is older, taller, thin, better looking, and hell he is better at everything. He is so cool; I could call him the King of Cool. A letterman, good student fantastic athlete, you name it he was good at it, on the other hand, this scribe was just the opposite. Fat, slovenly, poor student, yep pretty much your typical chunkster at everything. The only thing I had going for me was a sense of humor, and of course I was the King of Cools brother.
So here we are, walking, talking and enjoying a hot August night out in Reno. I need to get something from the room and glance into the mirror as I pass, WHAT THE!!!! I have toothpaste on my lips, a great big white smear, how long. I turn to my brother and say; “I have toothpaste on my lips, how long have I had that?” He laughs and said, “ Well, hmmm lets see, ALL NIGHT SO FAR.” I laughed but knew revenge was needed, something equal for sure, but it would be tough to get one over on the King.
The next day we were stuck in hot afternoon traffic, so with no AC it was a window down day. As we poked along we were munching on some malted milk balls, and laughing at how the heat was melting these wonderful treats. Then I saw it, yes revenge was near if I could just hold a straight face. THE KING had melted chocolate all around his lips, they were so dark that if he had been smoking a cigar he would have looked like Lassie taking a crap. Composure, I thought to myself, composure as I fought back laugh after laugh, this is going to be great. I had no idea just how great this day was turning out.
My brother is a good looking guy, ladies of all ages find him quite charming and he, like all hearty males likes to flirt a bit, making what happened next the best- simply the best. As we waited for the traffic lights to change the car sitting next to us with its windows down is occupied by two swell looking mid twenty year old young ladies. Still holding back laughter, I make the low hand “check it out gesture, “ to my brother, quietly saying, “Babe alert!” The King slowly turns makes eye contact with the other cars occupants and says, “Hot one huh?”
The girls in he other car take one look a guy with chocolate completely covering his lips and break into uncontrolled fits of laughter. He turns away then looking at them again gives them a great big old smile. These two poor girls are now laughing so hard they are crying and brother person has no clue as to why.
Finally as the light turns he glances into the rear view mirror seeing the chocolate mess on his face he screams- “TUBBY HOW LONG HAVE I HAD THIS ON MY FACE.” Hmmm, well ahhh, then I said, “All afternoon my brother, all afternoon.”