My Story
Hi, there. My name is Ted Yearick. I live in San Antonio, TX. Every Christian has a story to tell. The story of how Jesus came into their life and changed it forever. It is a glorious story of the living God and His amazing grace, which is freely given to any and all who will accept it. This is my story.
I was born in San Antonio, TX on April 5, 1953 (which was Easter Sunday that year) to a religious couple of WW II veterans who had each had very difficult lives during the great depression. My mother's father was a violent drunk who beat her and her mother. My father's father died when he was very young, and he had to leave school after the ninth grade. Because of a childhood illness, my mother had been told that she would never have children. But, after several years of earnest prayer, God healed her. I was the first of three children she would have.
My parents were both active in the local Methodist church. They taught Sunday school, took care of the little ones during church some Sundays, and volunteered whenever called upon. My father was an usher and deacon who did maintenance and cut the grass with other men in the church. He also helped with the church sponsored Boy Scout Troop, which I was a member of. I remember many great times with that.
In my early teen years, I became withdrawn from my family and society. I hated school and wanted to quit. I failed the ninth grade simply because I refused to participate. My parents were, of course, upset. After considering several alternatives, including military academy, they decided to try to get me involved with the church youth group. I went reluctantly at first. But, after about a month, I discovered I liked them, and they like me. After that, life began to be fun. The Sunday night youth group (UMYF) and the Wed. night volleyball and song-fest got me out of my shell. As I enjoyed the activities more and more, I got more and more involved. I remember my junior and senior years in high school as the best years of my life. By the time I graduated from high school I had been twice elected President of the youth group, was a soloist and leader in the youth choir, served on the committee for evangelism, called on teens who visited the church, and visited elder members who could not leave their homes or nursing homes. It was during that time that I came to know of Christ. But, not really know him as I do now.
During my first semester at the local junior college, on April 30, 1972, my father died of liver cancer. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I was nineteen years old, still very young and sensitive, and not prepared at all for such an event. In early August of that year I suffered a complete nervous breakdown. That was when the paranoid hallucinations started. The first was a vision of myself dead. Emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually, I had died. And, the worst part was, nobody seemed to see the trouble I was in.
Now, I do not want to appear to be bashing the Methodist Church, but, they were totally useless to me during this time. And, it was because my youth minister actually told me that I needed to solve my problems myself, and learn to be strong in myself, that I decided it was "I" I should rely on, and not God. I was not told to pray. No one offered to lay hands on me and pray for me. No one offered to pray with me. I was just left to deal with my broken heart and mind on my own. So, I did. That was when I began to go to church less, and pray less, and not rely on God.
After a year of trying to cope with a distorted reality, several attempts at suicide, and constant hallucinations (creatures coming out of wall sockets, monsters walking out of walls), I went away to college to Southwestern University. A Methodist Church owned liberal arts school in the sleepy little town of Georgetown, TX. With less than twelve-hundred students, it was a quiet country retreat. I needed that, because I was still nervous, sad, and disturbed all the time. I thought it would be a good change for me. I was really hoping that I would find some help. Well, I did; although not at all what I had expected. Especially at a church school.
My first week at Southwestern I met a group of Christian kids who took me into their circle with open arms. They could see I needed some help; and, after discussing it among themselves, decided on a solution. One of the group, a guy named Rex, was elected to take me to the small city park and introduce me to the remedy. Marijuana. At first, I hesitated. But, it was another Christian boy who was offering it. And, he was insisting that it was just what the doctor ordered to cure my ills. So, I agreed. That began a thirty year relationship with pot. That also pushed me a little further from God. But, it was not the pot that would sever my ties with God and the church and lead me deep into the dark side. It was the next remedy for all ills Rex would introduce me to. Alcohol.
Like all alcoholics, I was hooked the very first time I got drunk. I just loved it. I knew I had found the relief I had been looking for ever since that horrible day my father died. With alcohol in me, I was not afraid or unhappy. I could once again laugh and play as I had when dad was alive. I decided that this was what I needed. And, between the pot and the alcohol, God and the church faded farther and farther away. By the time I graduated from Southwestern in 1976, I had completely lost all interest in God, and had stopped going to church, even for Christmas.
I barely remember my three years at Southwestern University. What I do remember always includes pot, my drug of choice at the time. I was so stoned on graduation day, that I honestly don't remember the day. Can you believe it? The day many consider one of the most important days of their life; a day many kids dream of having; and I cannot remember it because I was too stoned. Although I did not recognize it at the time, it was an indication of how much I still wanted to escape from my life; a life filled with depression, paranoia, and emptiness. At the time, I did not know what the cause of the emptiness was. I do now.
It was after college that I began my real drinking career. Mainly because I did not have a connection for pot, and for financial and legal reasons. It is easier to just go to a convenience store or liquor store and get some beer or booze. And I could not image not having my "medicine." I will admit that I occasionally considered seeking God for healing, but I still had the memories or being told to rely on myself burned into my brain. And, I admit, I did feel some bitterness toward the church. I felt that I had been betrayed and abandoned. I was also still bitter about lossing my best friend, my dad. So, I started getting drunk every day.
I should say that the assertion made by many in the anti-drug campaign that pot leads to harder drugs is true. There is a saying in the drug culture, "One good high deserves another." I never had the opportunity to try heroine (Praise God!), and, although I occasionally did cocaine, I never got hooked on it. It just didn't appeal to me. But, crystal meth, speed, was another story. Like everyone, I just started snorting it, and then progressed to main-lining, injecting in into my veins. And, true to the druggy motto, I loved to mix pot, beer, and speed. Throwing a hallucinogen ("Acid")into the mix was always fun, too. But, mainly, I stuck to a combination of pot and beer. That was my lifestyle for the better part of thirty years.
Now, I should say that, by the Grace of God, I did maintain some discipline and sensibility from time to time. As a result, I did manage stop drinking and drugging for four years. But, my heart wasn't in it. I missed getting drunk and high, so I went back to it with complete abandon. And, of course, that abandon of sensibility included the other drugs, and sex as well. I mean, if you are going to get rid of some rules, why not get rid of all of them. As a result, I sunk into a really dark, decadent life. I was completely on the dark side at that point. Satan had me hook, line, and sinker, and was slowly reeling me in.
In the Autumn of 2004 I finally got to the point where I simply was afraid of life. I was afraid of the future. I dreaded each new day, and was terrified of the thought of one more just like the current and past day. I could not see my life getting any better; in fact, it seemed obvious that it would only get worse. I did not want to go on. The solution seemed obvious. A six pack of beer and a bottle of sleeping pills. I decided that was the only sensible solution.
Filled with fear, anxiety, pain, and despair, I paced the floor early one Sunday morning waiting for noon to arrive so I could buy some beer and pills and put my plan into action. Walking in circles, my brain overcome by the storm ragging in it, I heard a clear, soft voice say two things. The first was, "Be still." That made the storm in my head stop instantly. Then, the voice clearly and calmly whispered in my ear, "Mark, I love you." I did not have to ask who was speaking - I knew. And, I knew what I had to do. Right then and there I said out loud, "Jesus, please take all this away from me. Please accept me, and come into my life. I know I need you, and I really want you. I cannot manage life on my own. I give my life to you. Please take it, and let me be with you." That was October 3, 2004.
Now some, especially those in the medical field, may find this impossible to believe, but all my illnesses were cured right them and there. The addictions to alcohol, drugs, and nicotine ended instantly. There were no withdrawal simpsons; no pain, or nervousness, or mood swings. The desires and cravings just vanished instantly. At the same time, all the fear, anxiety, depression, bitterness, and emptiness vanished as well. It was all replaced with an indescribable peace, and assurance that everything was now going to be okay. And I knew that it was real. The voice was real; the healing was real; the old Mark had suddenly, and instantly died; and a brand new Mark had been born. A Mark that did not think about getting drunk or stoned. A Mark that did not want a cigarette. A Mark that knew Jesus personally as a real person, and a best friend.
Now life is an interesting and exciting adventure. I am learning from my new teacher, Jesus, everyday. And, he never stops letting me know that he is right by my side, and has my best interest in His mind. I do sometimes forget that he is taking care of me, and have a bad moment. But, then I hear Him say, "What is the matter with you? Why are you upset? I am right here. I haven't gone anywhere. You just turned your back to me; but, I didn't take it personally; and I didn't leave. So, calm down. I have everything under control." That is when I have to laugh at myself, and say, "Praise God. Thank you, Jesus."
If you do not have this kind of relationship with Jesus, you can. It is real easy. Just ask for it. It is freely given to all who ask. Just ignore the storm in your head and cast aside all your doubts about God, and ask Jesus to come into your life. Let go of all your fears and anxieties and needs and give control of your life to Him. I guarantee you will instantly experience a brand new kind of peace that will wash over you like a refreshing shower. And you will find yourself feeling happy, and won't really know why. The peace is there for you. His peace and love. May it be with you now and always.
Thanks for stopping by. Please email any comments you might have. Peace.