HERES THE DEAL: IF YOU ARE REALLY SERIOUSLY INTERESTED IN GETTING TO KNOW ME BETTER, I GOTTA GET TO KNOW YOU AS WELL. THIS IS FOR SERIOUS INQUIRES ONLY. SEND ALL MAIL TO firstname.lastname@example.org OH YEA BY THE WAY...THIS APPLICATION IS FOR FUN. BUT IF I KNOW YOU PERSONALLY AND YOU SEND IT IN, I MIGHT CONSIDER IT.
I, _________________, hereby send this form in order to be your boyfriend. Everything on this form is true to my knowledge. I promise to follow the rules as they are laid out.
The purpose of this contract is to rehash some of the skills a boyfriend should know- those which have been lost in the years. It will serve as a guide to show that love, affection, and the growth as a couple is severely needed to have a happy relationship.
RULES TO REMEMBER:
1): Always remember to tell your girlfriend that you love her- she does the same to you.
2): Never forget to put the toilet seat up. She does not want to fall in.
3): Flowers are not required, but a good touch.
4): Once you have her in your arms, never let go. For this is truely a security measure to both.
5): Kiss her goodnight. She loves the reassurance of a tomorrow.
6): No CHEATING!!! No man likes to have a scorned woman on his conscience. The same will go for the girlfriend.
7): No matter the situation, if a fight breaks out between the couple, talk it over. Feelings left unheard, will only boil up and make things worse.
Your girlfriend is upset over a minor scrimmage with her parents. She feels as if they are being unfair to her. What would you do to calm her down?
You see your girlfriend talking to another guy and you feel jealous. Would you let her talk to him and ask her later why she talked to him? Or, would you go over there and stray her attention away from him?
You are going out with your friends and she wants to come to. Would you allow her to? Why or why not?
What is your idea of a perfect anniversary date?
Would you pick a fight just to have make-up sex?
What would you like out of your girlfriend?
I promise to be the best boyfriend she has ever had, with a few flaws (for I am not perfect). She will be safe, protected, and loved by me. I promise to never let her think that she is not worth my time and heart. I do, however, expect the same in return from her. I promise to never abuse her- verbally, physically, or mentally. I will treat her with the same amount of love that she gives to me.
"BOYFRIEND APPLICATION/CONTRACT DONATED BY MANDERS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.