This funny article was written up by Your Dog Man Eamon Riley. Eamon is a professional dog trainer and animal behavioral consultant. He can be reached at dogmanusmc@aol.com if you have any questions.
"In all my years as a dog trainer, I have collected various lists about dog owners. Sometimes I give these out during my training classes, and I hope that you find them as humorous as my students have. Enjoy." Your Dog Man Eamon Riley
DOG PROPERTY LAWS
If I like it, it's mine.
If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
If I can take it from you, it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
If I saw it first, it's mine.
If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
If it's broken, it's yours.
TEN REASONS WHY A DOG IS BETTER THAN A MAN:
A dog does not have problems expressing affection in public.
A dog misses you when you're gone.
A dog feels guilty when it has done something wrong.
A dog admits when it's jealous.
A dog is very direct about wanting to go out.
A dog does not play games with you - except fetch (and it never laughs at how you throw).
You can train a dog.
A dog is easy to buy for.
A dog understands what "no" means
A dog means it when it kisses you.
TEN REASONS WHY A DOG IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN:
A dog's parents will never visit you.
A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
A dog never expects you to telephone.
A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
A dog does not care about previous dogs in your life.
A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
