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Let me tell you about my little Wal-Mart extravaganza...

So my uncle sends me a $20 gift certificate to Sams and/or Wal-Mart to get whatever I want as a Christmas present. Cool uncle.

So I go to Wal-Mart, grab a 25 pack of CDRs, priced at $8 something. I would have gone for a 50 pack for $17 something but I didn't want to waste the whole gift card and $8 something seemed like a good deal. I get in line and as I wait for my turn I grab a 17-stick pack of Big Red gum off the stand. The lady rings me up, but lo and behold, the CDR pack doesn't register in the computer. The cashier lady calls her manager, and they ask "Do you remember the price on this?". "I think it was about nine bucks", I respond.

I don't know why she asked me that, because she calls someone from electronics up to check the price. Being the patient fellow I am, I stand back and wait for the guy to return with the price.

He comes back, and says "$10.47" to the cashier(ette?). At this point I am thinking "$10.47?! What the hell? It was labeled eight something dollars!", but being the easy going person I am, I don't make a fuss. Apparently the cashier doesn't hear him, so she asks me "What did he say?". Being the honest, yet currently pissed off person I was, I say "I think $10.47."

She rings it up and I walk out.

I get home, and lo and behold, the damn overpriced CDRs don't even fucking work! I know it wasn't one of those "CDR Brand to Computer Brand" incompatibility flukes, because I bought Memorex brand CDRs, and I tried two of the ones I bought out, and neither of them worked. Then I borrowed one from my sis, also Memorex, and it worked like a charm.

So I head back up to Wal-Mart that night, and grab a 50 pack of CDRs to exchange it, being that I wasn't going to get screwed over on price a second time. I head to the Customer Service desk and wait my turn.

So it's my turn and I head up to the desk, "I want to exchange this 50 pack for this 25 pack, and I have the rest of this gift card to cover the difference" I say to the guy. He picks up the ones I am returning and says "Did you open this?". "Yeah, but they don't work", I said. "Well, I'm sorry, but we can't take back opened merchandise". Hmm... let's think about this for a minute, if I knew they were broken BEFORE I opened the merchandise, would I have bought the BROKEN merchandise? That you also stocked in the WRONG place, telling people they were going to buy a product for $3 less than it is actually priced?

But being the nice guy that I am, I don't say that, I say "Well, they're broken". "Sorry, it's store policy". Oh, okay, I didn't know that. So since it's store policy, I need to go home with a 25 pack of useless CDRs, call up my uncle to say thank you, and when he asks me what I got, I get to say "Well, Wal-Mart sold me a 25 pack of broken CDRs!". Apparently the guy read that expression off my face, so before I could say anything, he called up his manager.

When the manager gets there I was able to spend 5 minutes in a place called boredom while they helped out 2 other customers with a pair of jeans they needed to return. Finally, when the manager gets to me, she doesn't even try to tell me that I can't return it. Perhaps I am not the first to try to return bogus CDRs?

So they ring it up, but apparently they still haven't fixed the fact that the CDRs don't register (the ones I am returning. The ones I want to buy register just fine.), and so they have to go through that process all over again, except this time they just look at my receipt. So I thought this was it, once they gave me my stuff I could high-tail it out of there.

Until the guy says "Got a penny?", and I look at the register and apparently my gift card covered the rest of the cost except for one cent. "No, sorry" I say, and look down at my little sister, because I didn't know where she was, who I had to bring along because I was babysitting her that night. When I look back up the Wal-Mart employee and the manager are just standing there. "We need a penny", says the manager...

Are they fucking serious?! How friggin' hard would it be to open the cash register and close it again or whatever the fuck they had to do to tell the cash register that I paid one cent? And apparently, they aren't going to let me walk out of there until I fork over that big juicy penny, so I just turn around and ask the 2 or 3 or so other unsatisfied customers in the Customer Service department "Anyone got a penny?", and so a middle-aged woman out of the kindness of her heart loans me a penny, and I put it on the counter. They finish the transaction, give me my CDRs. As I walked out, I felt like tearing down that "Satisfaction Garunteed" poster.