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Derfus’ Island

By E.A. Pete

The following short story contains inside jokes and ludicrous material. Accordingly, it should not be viewed by anyone.

    …And so it was written, since Pete happened to bring paper along on the trip, that the theatre class could accept the challenge to perform for the islanders in return for a way off the island, or they could not accept and stay on the island for eternity. If they accepted, and the natives were displeased, they would have to serve peanut butter to the islanders as long as they were to live, because the islanders had a fetish for butter of the peanutty type.

    Using one of the natives’ hunting darts, they tranquilized Pham, in fear that her incessant giggling would offend the natives. And so they planned their show, for seven days and seven nights, re-tranquilizing Pham as needed.

    Before they knew it, opening night was upon them. Using the stage and lighting equipment the natives had so conveniently on hand, they opened the show with a song: "Tribute to the Greatest Show in the World" ("The Greatest Show in the World" was the name of the show, I might add). With Travis on guitar and backup vocals, and Pete on lead vocals, they set the stage for a great show. But more was to come. Many-a-native was disgusted by Hao Wei He’s version of "It’s Raining Men". Finally, Derf called for their secret weapon. Unknown to the rest of the clan, Derf ordered Timothy and Michelle force Pham to be quiet with whatever means necessary (Duct Tape, hypnotism, elephant tranquilizers, barrage after barrage of whipping sessions). After all that tortu- I mean training, they were able to present to the natives: Pham NOT giggling for a WHOLE MINUTE!


Needless to say, the natives were stunned.

    Now, to finish the evening, the class performed "We All Live in the Wrecked Airplane", a variation of the Beatles’ "We All Live In the Yellow Submarine".

    With this incredible performance displayed before them, featuring incredible belikability (BUH-LEEK-UH-BILL-UH-TI), the natives confessed that they were planning to eat the class, because they assumed the performance was going to be bad.

At this, Derf pulled out his machete, and went Arnold Schwartzenegga on their native asses!

Needless to say, the natives were stunned.

Needless to say, the class was stunned.

Needless to say, Pham giggled (And was accordingly whipped instantly by Timothy).

The next few days were spent surviving off wild fruit, until they were rescued by oh, let’s say….




       ...Did I forget to mention why Megan was not in this story? "Pete, how could you forget to make fun of her?!" you ask? Well, let me tell you a tale… while Megan was on the airplane, she suddenly needed to go to the restroom. She entered the restroom only to find an old, musty book…

But she decided to eat it anyway. She instantly vanished into thin air forever. And there was much rejoicing. Yay.

Completely Unrelated, Random Fact of the Day:

Jenny was seen entering the restroom minutes before Megan’s disappearance along with an old musty book. She left alone.


ã 2002 E.A. Pete