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So the phone rings and I answer it.  Dad says "Are you going to be home?"  I say "No, I've got to take Russell to work so I can have the truck today, I need to go get groceries.  So he says "Well, I'm on my way over with something for you to drive, and it doesn't matter if you like it or not."  So I say I'll wait.
He pulls up in this THING.  This giant white monster.  So I ask him how long he's going to let me drive it.  What does he say?  It's yours.  I'm going to buy it for you.  DO WHAT?  He said they were going to sell it to the wholesalers for $500 so he told them he wanted it for that price.
He said I could pay him back by mowing his lawn.  Let's do some math...$35 every two weeks...that figures out to...THE REST OF MY LIFE.  But he said he thought we "needed it"  (who are you and what have you done with MY father).  He said if we wanted to sell it and buy something else that was fine with him, he thought it would bring around $2000 in the shape it's in now.
   
 I had my doubts.  I took him back to the shop in it and he put some Freon in the a/c and showed me where to check the oil.  He said I needed to keep an eye on it because it may be 'using oil' (isn't that what they do?)  So he puts a ten dollar bill in my hand tells me to get some gas, change the insurance over to cover it and go sign the papers on it tomorrow and he'd take them a check tomorrow afternoon. 

     While I was there EVERYONE was interested in wanting to know how I felt about it.  It made me think that Dad's been up to this for a few days, especially considering it was squeaky clean and had been detailed and they don't do that to cars they're selling to the wholesaler. 

   
   
So I leave (we won't discuss how long it took me to figure out how to turn the mammoth around)  to go to Michael's to get some scrap book paper (it's on sale half price, ya know!)  And the a/c is blowing cool and I'm liking it...and I look up and WHAT is THAT???  It's an a/c control for the BACK SEAT!  Eh?  Who ever heard of such a thing?  It's got a/c vents in the BACK!!!  So we go in Michael's and get two packs of paper and come out and get back in it and I drive to HEB.
   
 Then I notice it's got an equalizer in it, but no stereo.  No biggie, I've got a stereo in the blazer that can be put in it.  So we get out, go in HEB and get groceries.  When we come out I open the back door and put the groceries behind the back seat, that I notice FOLDS OUT INTO A BED!!!  So I finish putting the groceries in and wheel the basket back to the corral.
   
           While I'm walking back to this white monster I realize how BIG this thing REALLY IS.  It's bigger than anything else in the parking lot.  So I get back in it and start it up (and I mean this thing starts RIGHT UP, you can LOOK at the ignition and it starts).  And I back out of the parking space.  Side note:  I will NEVER walk BEHIND a van again, and if I do and I get run over.....well, all I can say is that I understand why.  So I back out of the parking space and proceed to the exit.  When I pull out of the parking lot some idiot pulls out at the same time from the Pizza Hut across the street.  I nearly hit him and suddenly it dawns on me...I DON'T CARE!  For years when I drove a little car I was scared to strap my kids in it and go anywhere for fear that some fool would run me over and really hurt one of us.  I don't have to worry about that near as much in the MONSTER VAN.  This thing is like a small house on wheels!  "Hey, did ya'll feel a bump?"  "Yeah, Mom just ran over that volkswagen convertible, it's the third one this week, you'd think they'd learn not to pull out in front of her."