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Jokes

What does a butcher weigh?

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How much dirt is in a hole that is 2 x 2 x 2 feet?

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How many animals of each kind did Moses bring on the ark?

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If a plane crashes on the border of Mexico and the United States, where should the survivors be buried?

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How did the the leper help out at the Red Cross?

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How do people knock off Taliban tanks?

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What does God wash the ocean with twice a day?

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If a gown is nightware, what is a medieval suit called?

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs flying over a fence?

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What is a good slogan for an auto repair shop with using the beginning of the statement: Come here once, and...

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Fill in this statement best you can: "Looking for someone to tend to a cow that does..."

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What do apples and oranges have in common?

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What do you get when you cross a river, a brook,, and a creek?

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Does England have a 4th of July?

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If Person A is driving to California from New York at 90 mph and Person B is driving to New York from California at 120 mph, where will they meet?

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Why can't some people dial 911?

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What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan?

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Here is the situation: George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Laden tells George Bush, "There is no point of engaging in further war. I can see total peace in the future!" George Bush replies, "Oh yeah and tell me what you see?" Osama answers, "I can see New York, with new great buildings on one side and beautiful new buildings on the other side, and everything is peaceful and wonderful." George Bush says, "Wow is that what you see? Well I'll tell ya what I see for the future of Afghanistan... I see a house here, a house there, a small building here and small building there, but there are signs hanging in the middle of the street." Osama asks, "And what do they say?" Why can't George Bush tell Osama what the sign says?

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What's the national bird of Afghanistan?

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How can we find Osama bin Laden?

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Why are they taking out all the K-Marts in Afghanistan?

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Here is the situation: There are three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. The genie says, "I will give each of you each one wish. That's three wishes total," The Canadian says, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming. Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around my Taliban camp in Afganistan, so that no Jews or Americans can come into our camp in Afganistan." Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan. "Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable." What is Uncle Sam's wish?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Dismay. Dismay who?...

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