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~7/10/03~

So, I am very seriously thinking about switching over to a xanga.com site because it makes more sense for the kind of set up I want. A few of my friends alread have one and I didn't even know about xanga, so now that I know, I think I will be switching over sometime soon. Somehow, I want to switch all my old journal entries over as well...so, we'll see how it will work. Lately the Lord has really softened my heart and I tend to be praying a lot more which is really awesome! I wish I could explain all that God has been stirring inside of me, but I tried to tell one of my good friends last night while we were driving to the airport to pick someone up, and it just came out as a bunch of fragment sentences. I figure, when I'm supposed to talk about it, the Lord will give me the words to say, and for now - just know that there are a lot of things going on in my heart and passions being stirred up! I am definitely working on trying to keep in touch better. I really only talk to my parents on the phone and I have some really good friends I saw over vacation that I haven't even called since then!!! I really need to call them soon!!! So, my friend Greta is back from Russia and had an amazing time building relationships with people and pouring into people's lives!!! So cool!!! She's going to be studying abroad in the United Kingdom this fall so be praying for her safety and provision, also that she would be given divine appointments left and right to share the love of the Lord!!! I have to go now. I also need to work on my newsletter - even though I have no idea what to write in it! Oh well - God will just have to take over my hands and type for me because I sure don't know how to express how I feel about Him!!! :o) Have an awesome day!

~7/4/03~

Happy Independence Day! I haven't wrote in my journal for a while!!! WOW! There hasn't been much going on is probably why. I have been doing a lot of reading and going to class. I have met quite a few great summer volunteers, missionaries and campers. I have been house-sitting on the weekends for my manager because she is in South Africa until this Sunday. So, my fourth of July plans are to chill at her place with my friend Amanda and we're going to watch fireworks at a nearby park. I was saying to a friend last night that it is so hard for me to comprehend that right now as I am comfy - not too hot not too cold, well fed and clothed - there are Christians all over the world getting tortured for their faith. My very own brothers and sisters in Christ are getting burned and beaten all over the place on a daily basis. It scares me when my eyes get stuck on me and my plans when there is a police officer in Sudan who just asked Jesus into his heart after seeing the devotion of a brutally beaten believer. My prayers are powerful and effective and when my eyes switch their focus to me and my own needs and wants, there are prayers I forget to pray. I'm so glad I get this free newsletter from Voice of the Martrys (persecution.com) that monthly reminds me of those who are going out on a limb to share their faith TODAY! It gives me specific names and places to pray for and pictures! Praise the Lord! Well, let me know whats going on with you! I pray the Lord has been blessing you in order to bless others. Greta, welcome back from Russia! I wanna hear all about your trip!!!

~6/15/03~

Vacation at home was so great! I was able to spend time with a lot of people and just catch up with some friends I hadn't seen in a long time. God also confirmed some things in my heart as well as the hearts of others while giving me a brand new love for San Diego. I was never quite fond of the place I grew up but now my heart is broken for the entire city. So cool. Now I am back in Texas and have been for a week. There a ton of missionaries and volunteers on campus. About 10-15 trips left this week I think (my numbers could be way off). My manager left for South Africa yesterday morning and left me with the keys to her house so I could get her mail and crash there whenever I want for the 3 weeks she will be out of country. So guess where I am today! My friend Amanda (who is her husband's administrative assistant) and I spent the night at their house last night and we stayed up till 4am! We watched "Dr. Dolittle" (which I found funnier than I had the first time I saw it) and then played this game called "Cashflow 101" for 3 1/2 hours or so. It is such a fun game - it's like monopoly in realistic terms and quite a bit harder. It take s alot of thinking and it teaches you a lot about how to invest and what opportunities there are out there to make great investments no matter what kind of salary you have or what occupation you have. The game was invented by the author of "Rich Dad, Poor Dad". I really had a ton of fun last night and surprisingly I was even awake during church this morning! WOOHOO! So, it's Daddy's Day and I think my Daddy is great! I love him so much!!! Take this day and spend some time with your daddy if you can, and if you can't, call him or up and then spend the rest of the day spending Daddy's day with your heavenly Daddy!!!!!!! Have a great day! I love you! Pray for me, I am teaching two different Bible Studies tomorrow and I am only prepared for one of them at this point!

~6/2/03~

So I'm home in San Diego, California right now and I'm doing great. Yesterday, I went to two churches, went and saw my 92 year old great-grandma, my mom and I went grocery shopping with her, I saw my Uncle Ronnie, spent some quality time with my mom and then was able to talk with my friend, Lynn who I haven't seen in a year! It was a good day yesterday. It is 11:30am pacific standard time and I haven't got much planned for the day but we will see what happens. Good times, Good God!!!

~5/28/03~

Hi! Dude...it's been 14 days since I last wrote in my journal and the 2 guestbook entries I have are from me and my friend Gina here at the Honor Academy. Where are all of you? So many people used to email me wondering why I hadn't updated in so long and now not a single "hi"? Well, I'm doing really well. I am going home to visit on Saturday and staying for a week. Summer missionaries are going to be on campus when I get back and summer camps will be just about to start up. I have been doing a lot of reading lately!!! I like to just crawl away on my top bunk and read books...it's great!!! Just recently I started 'Servant Leadership' by J. Oswald sometherother. I read 'God's Armorbearer' and 'Armegeddon' and I'm also in the middle of a book by Ken Blanchard, I just finished a another book for a class and I have been reading artciles for Core Advisor Development. I really don't even know what to write about...um...God is good and I'm going home soon! woohoo!

~5/14/03~

I just added a guestbook to my site so go ahead and sign it...you know you want to!!! :o) Today, my whole department went to YWAM's campus down the street and swam in their lake, learned how to play euchre, hung out all day and got a tan. The weather is great here - nice and sunny with a little bit of a breeze. The lake was gorgeous and the temperature was just right! ahhh...relaxing day...except that we had to be back in time for class at 3! :o) Well, I had core advisor training this weekend which was really good and very educating. I learned a lot and one of the many lessons was on playing to win instead of playing not to lose. There is a big difference in mentalities between the two. Both perspectives don't want to lose, but one of them is confident they are going to win and willing to take more risks because of that confidence. Good stuff. I got to talk to my mom on Mother's Day. She said it was a good day :o) I'm glad! I bought her some candles from Mary Kay because she loves candles and I have a friend who is a consultant. Anyways, this weekend is the Celebration Retreat and I know more about it now than I did a week ago. The whole campus stops classes and working and from Saturday till MOnday evening, we just take a break to have some fun!!! We play all kinds of games and have tons of competitions. You can sign up for as many competitions as you want! I am going to play tournament soccer and basketball and I'm also going to be a part of the synchronized swimming competition which should be a blast!!! There is a choreographer on my team so I know my team is gonna rock the house! On Saturday, we are going to a professional soccer game in Dallas (against Los Angeles...I don't know who I should root for...I'll just root for the better team) and I am reaaaaly excited about that!!! It should be fun! And there is a nice scrumptious banquet on monday night...mmm, we have the best food at these banquets...yum yum yum. Anyways, that's all I can think of right now. God is so good. He equips the called - not the other way around. I love you - sign my guestbook, send me an email...let me know what's up!!!

~5/9/03~

So my finances are basically covered for the rest of this year! With my monthly supporters and my grandparents taking care of it! God is so good! A lot is going on at home because my mom got laid off this week and my dad needs to have knee surgery pretty soon. Keep my family in your prayers. Pray that my mom would find the best job and that all the logistics(paperwork) and finances that go into this knee surgery divinely come together. That this would all happen in a way that brings glory to only the Lord! I am just believing that this is going to be a faith-boosting time in my family! Pray also that my brother Josh would find a job. I will put this stuff on the prayer request page too - everything is being updated today! woo hoo! So, in other news, I really love to read. It's gotten to the point where I am reading a book (non-class related) every night before I go to sleep and usually staying up too late :o) I am almost finished with a book called "Tortured for Christ" by Pastor Richard Wurmbrand. YOu can get it for free if you get a Voice of the Martyrs monthly newsletter and turn in a card to recieve the free book. That's how I got mine! My next book is going to be "Armageddon" from the Left Behind Series!!! I'm excited! Anywho, this weekend, I have my first training sessions for being a Core Advisor next year! :o) And then next weekend we have another retreat called the "Celebration Retreat". I really have no idea what we do during this retreat except it is supposed to be fun! That's all the news I can think of off the top of my head. HI AMBER!!!! I LOVE YOU AND I WILL BE SEEING YOU IN LESS THAN A MONTH!!! YAY!!!!!!!

~5/1/03~

HELLO GRETA ELIZABETH DOBIE! GRETA ELIZABETH DOBIE ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF AND I LOVE AND MISS HER A TON!!! Hey...so in my last entry, I talked about ESOAL, you can disregard that because I decided at the last minute not to do it and I confident that I wasn't supposed to. There was a lot that went into the decision and one of the things was that I didn't need another activity, I just need to spend time with God and rest in His presence for a change without the immense activities. So ya...this weekend should be fun, I'm actually going to do some work for another department on Saturday because they desparately need help with missionary stuff and Ill get good lunch and dinner out of it! mmmm! The pool has opened up for the summer because basically, it feels like it is already summer here. It's humid and it's hot. Tonight, I'll probably go swimming and a lot of the weekend. I'm also going to a dance recital tomorrow morning for one of my friends here who is a graduate intern and at college. Her dance class has a recital in the morning and she invited me! That should be fun! At the end of this month, I am going home for a week which I am absolutely ecstatic about. I want to see my family soooo bad. I'll see some friends too that I'll be glad to hang out with, but mostly my mommy, daddy, joshie and nafan are who I really can't wait to see. Family is so important and mine is awesome. I also plan on maybe speaking at a church and fundraising a little for next year as a Core Advisor. I haven't really planned it all yet so if you want me to speak at your church or youth group in san diego from June 1st to 6th...cool, email me. I love you!

Oh, I am no longer going to Botswana this summer, just so ya know!

~4/28/03~

So going to Maryland with Genevieve was great and her family is very welcoming. I felt like just one of the family all weekend and we ate...a lot. I also got a 3 hour tour of DC. They showed me the musems which was cool and all, but when I think of DC, I don't really think of the First Wive's dresses or an insect zoo (honestly - I can see bugs just by going outside...and they are big)- I really just wanted to be able to see the Capital building - The White House. Though we didn't go very close, I got to take my pictures and stuff so that was cool :o) Anyhow, I had a good time and didn't sleep very much! We were constantly doing stuff - surprised? me neither.

So I haven't even had anytime yet to unpack from that and it was last weekend. This weekend I spent with a youth group out in Ft. Worth and I was a leader of a small group of girls. We went to the Acquire the Fire there and I was able to just pour into these girls and be there for them. We are going to stay in contact and I am planning on visiting them sometime, not sure when because I am waiting to hear about a few things. Such as I have a friend who is probably reading this :o) who is trying to see if she can come visit here this summer which I'm super excited about and also I am still waiting to see what happens with Botswana - whether or not I am going. They have extended the deadline for half my money to be in twice. Now it is not due until May 1st. I have no idea what is going on there so, I have been praying about it a lot and really trying to be completely patient. Waiting is hard and I have been struggling with just getting frustrated with not knowing - but I don't have to know everything. And God does not want me to be frustrated. Pray that I would just have peace and wait on the Lord.

This weekend I have a retreat called E.S.O.A.L. (Emotionally Stretching Opportunity of a Lifetime). The retreat ideas were taken from research on Navy Seals training and the retreat is completely optional. I have no idea what to expect other than I will be stretched and it will be hard. You are allowed to quit at anytime during the retreat without any condemnation. They don't expect that everyone can honestly make it. All I know is that it starts Thursday night and it ends sometime over the weekend. You can't bring any time pieces with you so I will not know what time it is at any given time and I also know that the facilitators will act drill sergeant-ish. We have to memorize 7 verses to prepare for the retreat (Romans 12:12, Isaiah 21:3-4, Philippians 4:13, 2 Cor. 4:8-9, James 1:2-4, 1 Timothy 4:10, and 2 Timothy 2:9-10) So be praying that I would get the most out of the retreat I possibly can. Right now I am struggling with even wanting to do it, but what keeps me wanting to is that I know I will learn a lot and also that I can take it as a chance to get a safe and controlled glimpse at the everyday life of missionaries and underground church believers all over the world. So ya...good times. Also pray that I find some time soon to get a newsletter out. Cool, thanks! I love ya and I would love to hear from you. God bless you oodles.

~4/16/03~

I had exams this week and I just finished the last exam for this unit a couple hours ago. We only have one more unit of classes and then the summer, there are still core meetings and a few classes, but very relaxed because of missions and summer camps. It's so crazy that I have been here for 8 months! The time has gone by so fast!!! The Lord has delivered me from so many things just in the matter of 8 months! He showed me that once I decided to set aside a time of purification, He would definitely follow through - and He is and it sure isn't fun or easy, but man has it been good and the freedom that I have gained has been tremendous!!! This morning, I was reading in Proverbs 16:9 where it says "A man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps." It's so true, I can plan out what things I will do, but the Lord will direct what He does in those things and where He takes me in those circumstances! I was reminded this morning of a story a friend of mine told me last semester. It was about a man who was standing near a boulder. The Lord spoke to him asking him to push the boulder. So the man is pushing and pushing and pushing. The boulder will not budge! The man gets all flustered and asks the Lord why the boulder is not moving. The Lord says, "I just asked you to push - only I can move it." Be obedient in what God has laid on your heart and He will be faithful to move on your behalf. Right now I am in a situation where I waiting on Him to move. The deadline for half the money to be in for a mission trip to Botswana was yesterday. They need to be able to pay for our plane tickets. Well, the deadline is now extended to the 25th! I just need to trust in the Lord that the things He lays on my heart, I just have to be obedient in what He says, and He will do the rest.

On friday, I leave with my accountability partner, Genevieve, to go spend Easter with her family. She bought my plane ticket and we are going to surprise her whole family because she has not said a word to them about this! She's from Maryland and we are flying into Washington DC and drive to Maryland with one of her friends! I'm so excited! I love visiting places I've never been to before!!! Anyways, be praying for safe travel and all that jazz! I love you...Oh, and if one of you who reads this has called me recently, please leave me a voice message, I am not going to call back a random number if I don't know who was calling me from it. I would love to talk you, so leave me a message to let me know who to call....whether you like leaving messages or not - help a sista out!

~4/8/03~

TOday in Chapel, the chaplain from West Point spoke. He spoke on sacrifice, determination and living true Christianity. Someone who really loves the Lord is going to want to do the things the Lord wills. I challenge each of you to be an every day martyr - dying to yourself and choosing to put everyone else before you. You are not as important as the person sitting next to you or the person in the next room or even the person who gives you the finger on the freeway. That person is more important than you - would you be willing to die for that person? We are supposed to love others as Christ loves us. Think about that for more than a minute and ask yourself if you are doing that because I know I sure am not, but that's worth striving toward. The only thing is, if you are serving others as a way to look like a servant - a way to actually prove how great a Christian you are, than you are missing the whole point and you are selfish. Pride and love don't mix. Keep that in mind and stick to the things that please God and not the things that please your own flesh. At first, disciplining the flesh isn't so much fun, but once you have done it in a certain area for a while, your paradigm shifts and you no longer want that carnal thing but instead you long to please the very heart of God and anything that would serve Him and His people.

Back in America's slave days, an englishman came to the states to mine for gold. He went to southern california and was out of luck but then he went up to northern california and struck it rich. He found approximately 1 million dollars which was so much more money then than it is now. He then decided to travel the U.S. since he had the money and he was already here. Well, he ended up in the french quarter of New Orleans, Louisiana. He walked in on a slave auction taking place. A man had just been sold and a lady was now being pushed up on a stand to be auctioned off. All the men were talking trash about what they would do with her once she was theirs. This shocked the englishman because slavery had been abolished in england for years and he thought it was just terrible. He watched for a while as the bidders settled down a bit and it was down to two men and the price was $11.00. The englishman then shouted at the top of his lungs, "I will pay one hundred dollars for her!" No one believed that he had that amount of money so he showed the cashier that he did indeed have what he said he did. She was given to him and immediately she spat in his face saying, "I heard all the obscenities and cruelty you guys were speaking over me and I hate you!" The man just asked her to wait there while he went back to cashier for a minute. She could see through a window exactly what was taking place and it looked as though the man and cashier were arguing and the englishman was putting more bags of money on the cashier's table. The cashier finally seemed to give up trying to fight him and got out a slip of paper. He signed the paper and had the englishman sign it. The englishman then returned to the woman and told her that she was now free. He had bought her freedom. She didn't believe him and thought he was playing more games with her. She decided she hated him even more. He asked a passer-by to read to the lady exactly what the emancipation paper said and of course, he was speaking the truth - she was absolutely a free woman. She was in shock. He handed her the rest of his money and told her to make a good life for herself. Tears ran down her face as a flood of emotions enveloped her. The englishman just started walking away with a big smile on his face. After several minutes of evaluating what had just happened, she ran after the englishman and said she wanted to serve him for the rest of her life. He explained that he had freed her just for freedom sake. He didn't want her to be enslaved to anyone, including himself. She said, "That's the thing, I will serve you because I want to, not because I have to."

That is an amazing model of mere christianity. God saved us for freedom sake - his love was totally selfless, asking nothing but that we love him. Someone who truly recognizes the depth of God's love will WANT to serve Him and long after His purposes and His will. Wow. That's huge!

~4/7/03~

So...I got accepted!!! I'm going to officially be a Core Advisor in the fall of 2003.

~4/7/03~

Is it possible to learn soooo many things in just one week? I guess so because I have been learning about a lot of things. Gideon's Road was really stretching (emotionally, physically and spiritually) but there is really no way I could ever describe it. I learned about the responsibilities a Core Advisor has and the level of commitment, love, dedication and sacrifice needed in order to invest a year of your life into the spiritual growth of others. I learned a lot about true selflessness and how selfish I am. Selflessness takes a paradigm shift - instead of trying to fit everyone else into my life, selflessness is trying to fit yourself into the lives of others no matter how you get treated in the process. I've come to the conclusion that it is really not about me at all. My life is not my own. I have no excuse for acting like it is. The grace of the Lord empowers us to be Christ-like, and relying on Him is the ONLY way we are ever going to be successful in doing His will. That is the basic lesson I learned from Gideon's Road. This weekend, I had the unreached people retreat where half the campus camped out in the back woods as tribes while the other half was teams of missionaries trying to locate thier tribe, learn the language and customs and try to present Christ to them. I was in a tribe and it gave me a whole new perspective on what it is liked to be witnessed to from the wrong perspective. I learned that, for me, it would be so much easier to die for Christ than to live. When I think of being martyrd, it really doesn't sound all that bad - I know that I would be able to say that I am a Christian and that to die is gain. I think it is much harder for me to think of the daily torture of ridicule, persecution and misunderstanding and the need to sacrifice of my own wants and desires on the daily for the cause of Christ than it is for me to get hung, shot, stabbed, crucified for the cause of Christ. Yes, those things are painful, but they result in death which results in being with Jesus. To live to be 100 years old and constantly persecuted seems to me a true sacrifice of self. If I'm not making any sense, send me an email and we can discuss this further. Another thing I am learning is, if it's not God's will, I don't want it. I have been planning to go on this mission trip to Botswana this summer and have been praying about funds and the people that will get reached and all that good stuff, well, I have a deadline coming up in 8 days for half of the money to be in, I have yet to recieve any money at all for this trip. I've come to the conclusion that there is very little left on my end that I can do, so I have given it over to the Lord so if it is His will, the money will come, if it is not His will, I will be glad because there is no way I would want to be outside of His good and pleasing, perfect will. Faith is definitely a muscle and mine is getting a workout right now. I find out today whether or not I am accepted as a Core Advisor. There were around 70 people who went down the road and there are about 35 spots available. Though I would honestly be confused if I do not get a spot since it has been confirmed so very much that I am supposed to, I will just evaluate the situation, pray like a monk, read what the Word says, be glad for His will and move on (of course there will probably be some human emotion in there as well). God is definitely stretching and molding me like crazy and I know it is only because I am really open right now. I feel like a totally transparent vessel, able to be used at any time and totally visible for all to see. Anyhow, there's a little update from here in East Texas where we have kamakaze bugs who are huge and dumb. Let me know what's going on with you! I love you!

~3/27/03~

Hey everyone. I plan on spending some time this evening working on my newsletter so that should be coming to you soon...I'm not going to miss this month like I did last month! So, starting friday, I am going down "Gideon's Road" which is the process to see whether or not I am capable of being a Core Advisor next year. It's a week long process which is really intense to see how you react under the kind of intense pressure situations you would encounter as a CA. I know that God will teach me a lot through this and I will be stretched in the areas of humility, selflessness and servanthood as well as just learning the love and faithfulness of my provider. It should be a really great experience. This weekend is the Sacramento ATF and though I won't be there, some of my friends from CSUMB will be there! I'm excited for them to see what I work on every day and I know the event will be a blessing in their walks with God. We pray so much for the presence of the Lord to be covering the events and that the worship would change lives...I've seen and heard some amazing results from this as well! So, I'm excited for Greta and Julie. Mmm...I think lunch is calling me. I love you!!! Be blessed!

~3/25/03~

Today is mommy's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY! If any of you would like to send her an e-card today letting her know how special she is, e-mail me and I will give you her email address.

~3/21/03~

So, there are two dogs randomly roaming the campus and one of them looks a LOT like my dog! The only difference is height, length of tail and the fact that my dog is an adorable spoiled princess. Nobody knows where the dogs came from, they just showed up on campus the other day. Keep the good times a-rollin! Today is jean day at work...oh ya!!! Good times, Good times. Wanna a read a story? It'll be short! It's about yesterday - Thursday the 20th of March. I slept in an extra hour and a half because I wasn't going to work in the morning. I was going to a dentist appointment because I have a toothache that is absolutely dreadful. Well, the plan was to leave at 9:45am for my dentist appointment at 10:30am because we didn't know where it was and it was in Tyler which is a half hour from here. Well, my core advisor drove me and we got extremely lost. We called the dentist's office twice for directions, both times getting quite confuzzled. Tyler is a funny city that goes in loops. So...weird. I miss San Diego where even though I don't drive, it's pretty easy to find where you are going just by remember landmarks. In Tyler, you'd have to say the 52nd tree or something like that as a landmark...there's not all that much here. Well, we get to the dentist at 11:00am and they take an x-ray. The dentist is super nice and I'm pretty sure he's a Christian. So, he says it's probably a sinus thing with a tad bit of infection. So he perscribes me an antibiotic and claritin. Good times. So then I go to Taco Bell for lunch (icky) and then to Walmart to fill the perscription. After an hour of walking around Wal-Mart waiting for it to be filled, I find out the claritin isn't covered by my insurance because it is now an over the counter drug. Well, then they tell me that they are out of the over the counter claritin. So, I just buy my antibiotic and head back to the campus. We get there at 3:00pm. That was not part of the plan at all. But it made for a fun adventure. Someday I will be able to get another ride off campus to go buy claritin and have no more toothaches. Anyways...that's the story of the day...time to go to work and save some souls!! WOOHOO!!!

~3/18/03~

God is so amazing! Spend a moment right now just to set aside everything you are doing and just worship Him! Lord, our hearts cry out you! We love you! You are so worthy of all the glory, all the honor, everything! Lord, thank you for giving us life and thank you for your unconditional love. Thank you for wanting fellowship with us. You are awesome - you fill us with so much awe! Thank you for your mercies!!! You are so Holy!!!

These last few days have been so great. God is teaching me to be confident that I am near Him even when I don't feel like it. I have been truly pressing in, spending more and more time with Him and praying throughout the day. Having the Holy Spirit inside of me is not some feeling in my stomach like everything else! I can be confident that I do hear from the Lord, that He does dwell inside of me and that I am in line with His will at this time in my life. As long as I focus on Him, He will not let me out of His will. As long as I am surrendered to Him and constantly relying on Him for EVERYTHING, I have no need for anything else. His yoke is easy and His burden is so light! Hallelujah! I love people!!! God has given me such a love for people. I love what Paul says in Acts 20:22-24 about how he doesn't hold his life dear to himself and how he thrives under threat because all he knows is the call of the Lord. That is the cry of my heart! I want everyone in this world to have at least heard the truth, whether they choose to believe it or not is up to them, but to have at least heard the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ!!! Who cares how big the risk is! I have Jesus inside of me and I know where I go when I die, so why would I be so selfish as to not go and make disciples of all the nations no matter what the risk? Obedience to the Lord is all I want to know. I want to be so intimate with my Creator that I know only to serve Him and love those He loves!!!!!! My call in life is to know Him and spread that knowledge! Praise the Lord!!! Chains and tribulation? Bring it on! I count it all joy because God is the wind in these sails! Jesus is the center of my life!!!! I WILL dare to dream as big as God dreams and this fire inside of me will not diminish, but increase with age for the Lord dwells in this place. HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!! PRAISE HIM!!!!!!!!!

~3/14/03~

I apologize if some of you thought I may have fallen off the edge of the planet. I have to tell you, I love being here because I never get bored!!! We are almost always in classes and learning and helping eachother out that I have been without any time to get on this page. Anyways, I'm here now! Woohoo!!! So I have a cell phone again if you were wondering about that. It's my old number in the 903 area code. If you don't have it, email me and I'll be sure to give it to ya! The San Diego ATF last month was so great!!! I was able to spend some quality time with my mom and dad which is always nice!! A lot of friends from my youth group came and we have been sort of keeping in touch sense! We left a day later than we had wanted because of ice on the roads so I was only able to spend one night at home (and I got there at almost midnight so my puppy was asleep, I left at 6ish so I didn't get to see my puppy at all while I was home...oh well, hopefully she won't forget me!). Once I got back from San Diego, I finished up all my exams and got caught up with classes and work I had missed and also spent some quality time with girls in my room. Last weekend I was asked to be CA for the weekend because the CA of that core was out of town. So that was cool to be asked to take on that responsibility. Also, I have been thinking more and more about my mission trip to Botswana this summer and how excited I am to know that I get the honor of ministering to God's beloved in that country. SO AWESOME! God is so amazing! I have been learning lately that the more open I am about my sins and weaknesses, the more God is able to use me and bless others! I always think in my earthly knowledge that if I tell my leaders what I have been struggling with and what I am weak in, they will look down on me and not want to promote me ever, but the exact opposite is true. Once we are obedient to God to the point of total and complete humility, He has an open door to use us the most! Crazy, eh? I thought so too!! Anyways, I am in the middle of a Muslim Training Seminar and lunch break is almost over. We are learning about the history of Muslim and teh Qu'ran and how to witness to Muslims. It's really quite interesting, I just stayed up too late last night and am need to stay moving and active. Sitting in that chair is kind of...boring. So, I am going to go now and ask the Lord to help me to know how to use this knowledge and it will bring me a new excitement! I love all of you and I hope to hear from you soon!!! BE blessed and may the Lord reveal something new to you today about His amazing character!

~2/22/03~

Today is 2-22!!! I love this number. If you are not aware, 22 is my favorite number and any length of 2s is really a good number!!! I think of so many things when I think of this number, I think of my old roommate Nehara. I think of room 222 on the 2nd floor of 210 with some of the most loverly people - wendy, jessica and cristina. I also think of my friend Hutto who is in Iraq, I think. He usually writes to me on the 22nd of each month because he knows its my fav number and the last time I heard from him was was 12/22/02. It's been 2 complete months. Well, I know he's okay because I pray for him daily!

I leave for San Diego on Wednesday morning...4 days!!! It's definitely going to be a long bus ride but a bunch of my friends will be going as well so we will make the most of it! I am soooo stinkin excited! 36 people from my old church are going, PRAISE JESUS!!!!!! I hope I get time to talk to everyone - I know I will be working, but it will be cool just to be there with all these people I love!!! I have a lot to do to prepare though - I have to study for exams as well as finish up all homework due this week and get these evaluations and reports finished finished for my ACA position. One of my girls has been on a fundraising trip all week off campus and I can't wait for her to get back tomorrow so I can see how she is! I know the Lord has stretched her and molded her this week and I have been praying for her a lot!!! I got this book by Ann Platz and Susan Wales calles "Social Graces" and I love it! It's on having good manners and etiquette to shine as a light in all ways as a Christian. I like having practical biblical instruction! I recommend this book to anyone who would like to know what semi-formal means, how to act at a dinner party or when you stay the night at someone's house, how to eat a fancy dinner (which utensils to use), how to act in a business setting or a formal conversation, etc...it's all in this book. I read it outloud with some friends and we just wanted to keep reading the whole thing all night! We didn't but it was cool! I'm looking into scholarships and if you guys see any that might interest me, please feel free to let me know. I think my brother should quit working at Target for a while so I can apply for this really good shcolarship through Target...but I guess its a good thing for my brother to have the job he has...man! lol...here's a little tid bit on faith for ya. Many of us say we have faith but if we truly have faith, that means that we believe that what we pray is really coming to pass, so when we are praying, we are thanking Jesus for what He is already in the process of doing and we are ready to plunge head first to help in whatever it is! Let's not have passive faith - let it be active and a part of who you are! Oh, here's something else in the field of communication - the best talent to attain in becoming a better friend, business person, student, parent - anything - is to listen and truly care about everything the person you are listening to is saying. Give that person your complete attention and clear your thoughts so that you know that if they were to ask you about what they said later, you would feel confident in responding. This makes the other person feel as though they are loved and appreciated and it helps you out just the same. I love you all. Be blessed!!!

~2/18/03~

Exerpt from email to parents:

Today in chapel, Carpe Diem awards were given out. These awards are for excelling in the workplace and are only given to a small percentage of the campus. It’s kind of embarrassing because you get called in front of the entire internship – even managers, graduate interns, everyone – and you have to stand there while they call out the other recipients. Anyways…I thought you might be interested in that – and here’s what my manager wrote for the director of the Honor Academy to say as I was walking up to the podium, “Joy Veale demonstrates a strength of her character in all that she puts her hand to, and a phenomenal attitude—one that will bring hope in the bleakest of circumstances. Within her is found what is common among the most successful people in the world, a willingness to do whatever it takes.” I don’t think I personally would go that far – honestly I was shocked that I received one because all the people I know that have received one are just phenomenal individuals and so it was pretty weird to be standing in between all the really amazing workers for the Kingdom. I think they just liked my name :o) hahahahaha! Anyways, I need to get some homework done, but I thought you guys would be interested in knowing that.

~2/12/03~

Wow! It's been almost 2 weeks since I have had any time to update my journal! That is insane. I apologize for not keeping you updated! I have had tons of homework and classes, busy-ness at work and other such activities taking up all my time! This last weekend, I had my 2nd Vision Retreat. This is where we pray and fast as a corporate body for a few days. I really loved just having a weekend get-away with God. It was really awesome!! Being an ACA means being available at all times to the needs of my room and my roommates have been needing my presence quite a bit lately which has cut away much of any other time to come to the office and type in my journal. Hi Amber. Hi Greta. Hi Lynn. I was unable to ever find my cell phone so my dad and I are looking into getting another plan because phone cards are ridiculously expensive. In two weeks, I leave for San Diego to go work at the ATF and sleep at home! I'm really excited about this and so are my parents. Please pray for me, I have a very painful toothache on the tooth on got a root canal on over Christmas Break. This most likely means that they did not go deep enough when performing the root canal. I will not have any time when I am home to go to a dentist - I will be spending all my time working at the venue unless I am at home sleeping. I do not have a dentist here in Texas but it looks as though I am going to have to go to one and get this dealt with because it is difficult to sleep at night and I am constantly having to take pain killers. It is also distracting during classes and work. Please pray however you feel led. Thank you very much. Be blessed and I hope to hear from you soon. If you would like to contact me, call me at (903)324-8708. I will not be making any calls for a while. You can also email me. I love you!!!

~2/1/03~

It's funny how things change so much in just a few days! God stays the same but just about everything else is always changing! I am no longer taking kickboxing - I didn't make the final cut to stay in the class. The teacher had to keep the class small so he could efficiently teach technique and so now I am thinking of taking up pilates. I really want exercise to be a daily habit that doesn't break, so I really like exploring different techniques that implement that. I still have not found my cell phone. The venue lost and found has not found it, so my dad disactivated the phone and for the time being, I have phone cards. All my phone numbers were in that cell phone, so I may no longer have your phone number. If you only knew my cell phone #, you can call me at (903)324-8708. That's my dorm number. So, a space shuttle crashed today and the debris is being found in cities right near me. Many concerned parents have been calling us to make sure everything is okay here in Lindale, TX. We haven't seen any debris. That is such a sad loss of life. I hope all is going well with you. The weather is beautiful here today so I was able to read outside and just spend time with Jesus, telling Him how much I love Him. Psalms is such an amazing book if you would like to learn about the character of God. Be blessed.

~1/28/03~

Houston was amazing. The Lord did some amazing things there. I lost my cell phone and I can only contact guest services at the venue on mondays, wednesday and fridays so I have to wait till tomorrow to hear anything about it. If any of you are wondering what kind of kickboxing I took up, it's called muay thai. So, today is the state of the union and I won't be able to watch it but maybe I can see parts of it tomorrow or something. My mom reminded me of something very good today. "Don't tell God how big the storm is, instead tell the storm how big your God is!" I really need to do that. I have been dealing with a storm lately and not dealing with it correctly. For those of you who are wondering about this month's newsletter. I sent half the people on my list the newsletter as an attachment through email yesterday and today I am going to finish up stuffing envelopes to get the other half of the newsletters sent out my snail mail tomorrow. So, if you didn't get an email, most likely you will be getting a letter in the mail within a week (if you don't get it then, I am sorry and you can email me and I will send it to ya!). Lynn, if you are reading this, I would love to talk to you, I just don't have a cell phone right now. Please email me and let me know how you are doing! :o) I love all of you! Thank you for always reading this.

~1/24/03~

I'm going to Houston at 2pm. It's a 4 hour drive from here. I'm excited. We're going to the Acquire the Fire there! My manager travels with Acquire the Fire so I will probably be doing spreadhseets and stuff for her all weekend but just being in a city I've never been to and meeting new people - this is just gonna be fun!!! I packed really quickly this morning while I was getting ready for work. I've taken up kickboxing. It's really hard and will take a lot of conditioning - I think that's why I wanted to take the class. I know that I will have to work really hard and my stomach muscles, arms and legs will definitely become stronger in the longrun. I know that it will help condition me for my mission trip this summer in Botswana because we are going to be doing a lot of tribal trekking. I spoke with a friend of mine who I just recently found out went on the trip last year and she showed me pictures. She told me it was probably the physically hardest mission trip she had ever been on but her favorite overall because of how God moved. I'm so excited!!!! I need to start praying for Botswana and the needs of the people there. YAY!!! :o) My newsletter is done and ready to be sent out except that I need to buy envelopes, tape and labels. Right now I am taping pieces of paper with everyone's addresses on them to the envelopes - so these letters are looking pretty ghetto, plus, the copy machine is struggling as of late so I am going to send these out next week when I get back from Houston! I'm excited about teh Super Bowl being in San Diego! I'm gonna totally be braggin' on SD to all my friends while we watch and eat lots of chips and salsa!!! :o) Okay...gotta go!!! Be blessed!!

~1/23/03~

It's cold here. I'm not exactly used to going outside and feeling my whole body sting from the cold. Ouch. As much as possible, we run from place to place. Here's what the weather site linked with yahoo told me today:

"...Hard freeze warning in effect tonight...

As cold Arctic air rolls into the region upon North winds of 10 to 15 mph today...Expect highs today to only Range from the lower 30s to lower 40s. These winds will produce wind chills in the teens this morning. Then tonight...Under fair skies and lighter winds... temperatures across the Four States region will fall into the teens...Possibly even into the single digits in a few valleys of Southeast Oklahoma and Southwest Arkansas. This will be the coldest night of the season thus far.

These temperatures could cause damage to exposed pipes and other property not normally subject to such cold. Residents should make preparations now to ensure that sources of heat are in proper working order. Remember to Check on the elderly during this cold wave. Provide warm shelter for outdoor pets...And protect sensitive plants. If you must be outside...Dress in layers of warm clothing...And minimize skin exposure of the hands and face."

~1/21/03~

I am going to Botswana this summer. Yes, this is out of nowhere and I didn't think I was going to go on a mission trip this summer. The problem with that is this intense longing I have to go to Botswana that is totally supernatural. I really don't know what is so special about Botswana - but that's where I need to be. That's how it was with India Relief in 2000...I didn't know why I was supposed to be there but I needed to be - and God totally changed my views on Him, His people, prayer, spiritual warfare, and much more. I firmly believe that because of all of our prayer, we helped lay the foundation for last year when the dalits got fed up with being untouchable and asked religious leaders to tell them about other religions besides hinduism. That was a huge invitation for Christ. That is why I know that I am supposed to be in Botswana this summer. When I start to look at things from my perspective and not God's perspective - this seems impossible. It seems like there is too much money involved and I cannot afford it. But when I get my eyes back on God - it's fairly obvious how huge His bank account is and that it never runs dry. I just have to keep reminding myself that it is not in my God's character to ask something of me and not provide the means to do it. I need to call my brothers - I haven't talked to them in a while. Josh, Nate - if you are reading this - I want to call you soon. Maybe tonight! Who knows! The possibilities are literally endless. :o)

~1/19/03~

Tonight I went to a forum on reaching the nations. I had no idea what it was and it was mentioned at the end of a class a few days ago. I just wanted to go because I was curious as to what it was. Well, out of a campus of about 700 interns, there like 25 of us that came to the forum. Ron Luce came in and brainstormed with us ways to reach our nation and spark a revolution. A few key things that really clung to me were:

1. Exposing the lies - in any great revolution, lies have been exposed. A way to practically do this, for example, could be counteracting the MTV spring break program. At the same time as the MTV spring break jam is being broadcast, be broadcasting the molestations, emptiness, hang overs, guilt, etc...that are the true effect of this event.
2. Forcefully advancing the Kingdom - I have heard that phrase so many times but for the first time ever, the word "forcefully" really became clear to me. We have such a short time here on this earth to make a huge impact. I really want to dream as big as God dreams and not limit His work. I want to be as willing as possible at any hour of any day to be that vessel for God that will do the impossible. That will work out logistics (because He made me very logistically minded) and to do the things others are afraid of doing; don't desire to do; the things that aren't fun but have a bigger purpose. So many people seek fame but I know that my reward will not come from the words or praise of men - I will have my reward when I hear "Well done my good and faithful servant". I will not go silently into the night because there is a revolution, a new thing that God wants to do to spark up some influential leaders in our world that know the Truth, that I will do my part in. Everyone who reads this has a choice whether or not you will keep God's love to yourself. The biggest thing I think I have learned is that it is not about me. Who cares if I am comfortable. If my uncomfort leads people to know the Lord, BRING IT ON! I will not spend this life being self-involved and doing good. There is sometimes a HUGE difference between doing good things and doing GOD things. One leads you nowhere and the other is everlasting. Now, I am not preaching works. I am preaching love. We cannot earn God's love. He loves you the same yesterday, today and forever. But, how can you keep that love to yourself???? I don't know about you, but whenever I have had boyfriends, everyone and their mom knew about it because I felt special and it was something that I couldn't keep to myself. And now that I am in love with the only love that will ever satisfy that yearning, there is no way I will waste one single hour. I will rest when I need rest but I believe that when God calls you to do something, you don't wait awhile and then do it, you do it right then or else you will lose the vision and forget or get doubts. I am not going to sleep tonight. I want to read about people in the Bible who have obeyed God and sparked revolutions. I want to read about Jesus and I want to know that I know that I know what His will is for me. I don't want to wait another minute! I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH TO WASTE MY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~1/18/03~

This has been a good day. Last night I went to a party at one of the directors of my department's house and we ate tacos, played cranium, hung out and we were basically on the floor laughing the whole night! It was so fun! I have some of the funniest people in the world working in my department! I stayed up late last night and then slept in this morning! It was nice! I've actually had a pretty relaxed-productive day today. It's beautiful outside - the sun is shining and there's warmth with a cold wind. I went running today and it felt great! I've come to the conclusion that I like running alongside someone so that we can talk and the run doesn't seem so long. I got 3 loads of laundry done today and I switched bunk beds. I didn't like the bunk I was on and there was and open top bunk so I switched and this way we will have more reachable storage space. I'm excited to sleep on the top bunk! It's way up there! Remember, these are 3-high bunks...so the 3rd/top bunk is pretty close to the ceiling. I will conquer my fear of heights little by little! :o) I need to work on my newsletter but I want to send this one out to everyone I sent my first fundraising support letter to (because I just send my monthly newsletter to my supporters and a few other people and I sent my first fundraising letter to over 100 people), but I don't have that whole mailing list here and my dad tried to send it to my teenmania.org email account and it said it was a "potentially unsafe attachment" so I asked him to send it to my yahoo account, so hopefully I will be able to open the attchment when he sends it there. I want to send it to everyone again just becasuse it is a new year and even though they didn't want monthly newsletters, I'm sure they still want to know how I'm doing every once and a while! I'm talking to my friend, Lynny, online right now and I haven't talked to her in a few weeks. I love that girl! We've been friends since we were 3 years old. Crazy talk I tell ya! Anyways, I think that about covers what is going on with me! How are you??? I have no clue who is reading this! Email me and let me know how you are doing! I love you! May the Lord bless your socks off today!

~1/15/03~

This journal entry is actually from emails I sent to my mom today: I love my roommates! Being an ACA is definitely a position of great responsibility. The girls in my room come up to me asking for prayer about very intimate things that they won't share with anyone else. I know the Lord put me in this room for a reason - my past is very similar to all the girls in my room in one way or another. They are so sweet and I just love them. Sometimes I have to be like a mom because we have room checks everyday and so the room has to be clean before we go to work and a few of the ladies really struggle in that area (since I've always struggled in that area as well, it makes it a lot easier to be understanding but yet firm about getting it cleaned). Anyways, in other news, I am so hungry for the Lord. Yesterday, a speaker named Mike Evans came and spoke at chapel. God has used him in incredible ways to speak to prominent men all over the world and speak at huge crusades all over the world as well. Over a million people have come to just one of his crusades. He got me hungry to just get on a plane to Iraq and tell Suddam Hussein he needs Jesus. I just want everyone to know that they don't need to be desperate for fulfillment from other sources any longer. Bombing people will never satisfy Mr. Hussein's longings for something that will make him finally complete. If it were God's will, I would honestly get on a plane to Iraq right now and let Him know - if I were able to sow that seed and never live another day, it doesn't even matter. The world needs what you and I have. My own comfort is meaningless in comparison to the millions and millions of deceived people who could be hearing about Jesus' love. I know that for now, I am called to be here, being developed as a leader and that it is important that I get my education - but I know that even when I am taking college classes, I could never JUST do that - I have to be doing SOMETHING to benefit the Kingdom or I feel as though I am not being productive with the short time that we all receive here on Earth. Anywho...that's what has been on my mind since Mr. Evans spoke yesterday.

I have been praying about whether or not to try out for the worship team this semester. I have the form...but I don't know if I want to. I'm an ACA now, plus, I am going to be a leader in the women's growth group called "Women at the Well". I also really enjoy worshiping on my own to the Lord - being able to dance around and not have to worry about if I sound amazing or not or whether or not I trip on a microphone or something, do you know what I mean? I love to sing and I would really like to sharpen my skills...I just don't know if this is the right time for that or not and I want to act in wisdom, not impulse. So, you can pray about that with me. Also, pray about whether or not the Lord wants me to go on a mission trip this year. I really yearn to get out there and reach out and love on people who need the Lord. I know that if it is the Lord's will, the money will come, if it's not - money won't come. I know that I want to come home for Easter and I am staying a second year as a core advisor and going to be paying for JC on top of that - so, I know that if I were to apply for a mission trip, it would totally have to be the Lord. I thought I was sure about it...but that has changed because of this passion in me to do outreach. I sit at my desk changing lives from my cubicle but I really want to do some real practical, hands on ministry! A lot of jobs in this ministry involve ministering to youth pastors, teens going on mission trips, teens coming to the Honor Academy, Parents with teens at the Honor Academy or on mission trips, vendors we buy from, etc....I really don't do much of that and it is something I love to do. I love my job and I know that this is impacting others; I just get so hungry for ministry sometimes! I really love the Lord and it tears me up inside that there are people who don't even know who He is!! They don't even have the slightest clue that there is something more fulfilling than sex, drugs, violence, you name it! It makes me want to cry! I have been learning about how reaching people in influential positions can impact so many. Just think about it - the amazing amount of salvations that would take place if key government leaders in this world were to serve Jesus! Holy Moly! It is insane that it is that simple!!!!!!!!!!!

~1/12/03~

My room is awesome! Everyone in my room is so on fire for the Lord - it's just such an amazing Godsend. My Core Advisor is someone I have enormous respect for and I see in her daily life that she is a lover of the Lord. Our Core name is Kletos which is greek for "appointed". The basis of this goes back to the book of Esther and knowing that we are called for such a time as this. One of our Core values is just awesome...check this out. Okay, so, her pastor spoke one day on living a life without wax and she decided to make it a crucial value of our core - here's why. Back in the day in like Israel...not sure where, people would make pots to sell and sometimes they would dry and there would be cracks. Well, instead of taking the time to re-mold the clay to get of the cracks the hard way, they would just fill the cracks with wax and paint over the whole pot so noone could tell with the naked eye. Well, inspectors started coming by to all the pottery shops and they would hold the pots up to the light. If there were parts of the pot where light was seeping through, that meant that they had used wax. The inspectors would throw those pots to ground so that they would break to pieces. But when an inspector found a pot that had no cracks coming through, they would stamp it in hebrew on the bottom "sincere". Sincere, in hebrew, really means without wax. That's what she wants for our core to be like. Sincere, showing our faults so that we can go through the more difficult process of being molded by God instead of just trying to cover up the cracks with fakeness/superficialness. I just think that is great! That's so huge!!! Dude, I'm trying to memorize all ofd James. That is my fav book of the Bible and I think I should honestly memorize it! If I can memorize countless numbers of songs in short periods of times...why does memorizing scripture seem so ridiculous! I don't want to live like the world...I want to live the impossible and be a woman who gives her everything to the Lord. I want to be a woman of extreme faith. This is how bold I am. I believe that there doesn't have to be a war with us and Iraq...I believe that if we pray in faith and it is within God's character, we can see the impossible become possible. Call me crazy but I refuse to be someone who goes with the flow. I will go against the grain and follow my Lord and His words till the day I die and see Him in His full glory. I believe we can pray for Suddam to step down or somehow be taken out of leadership over Iraq and we can believe. Is that so impossible, really people, is it? No! That is perfectly possible. I have seen the Lord do the impossible and if this doesn't even seem like an impossible thing to occur...how much more can that come to pass? BELIEVE!!!! If we are to be believers, lets really do it!! Anyways, I have a session to attend but I just love all of you so much and I am in love with my God with that is within me. He is the center of my life. He is the reason for my life and every breath. I refuse to ever "fall out of love" with the Lover of my Soul!! His love is so much deeper than any relationship you have in your life right now. SOOOOO DEEP!!!!!!!!!!! Be blessed!!!

~1/9/03~

Having this new class here with us has been great! But all the activities that happen in the first week they arrive make me sleepy. It is awesome to have so many sessions and times of corporate worship! I kinda...um...lost my voice! Yes, I know...I need to take better care of my voice...I just get so excited when I'm singing to the One I Love. :o) I just love Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~1/7/03~

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep....mmmmmmmm........that would be nice, eh? Things are up and running here at the Honor Academy. With our new January class here, I have been busy trying to make them feel as welcome as possible and also planning out some stuff for my room as well as some intense prayer for this new class and for the finances of tons of people on campus. There are a lot of people right now believing for finances. God is so faithful and He provides - we just need to believe. Last night, a woman I really respect was speaking on faith and she said something very simple, but so important. When we don't have faith in the Lord, we are doubting, which really means that we are having faith in the enemy. When we doubt, we are believing that the things of the enemy will happen instead of the promises of the Lord. That makes me mad that so much of the time - even us who love the Lord, sometimes have more faith in the enemy than in Our Provider! That's just not right! Oh, I studied on this really good scripture today in Jeremiah 20:9 "His word was in my heart like a burning fire Shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, And I could not." I want that to be me!! I want to know the Word - so that it gets me so on fire I cannot hold back!

~1/4/03~

Well, today has been fun, but quite exhausting! I am now an Assistant Core Advisor (ACA). This means that I am the leader of my room. I set the standards of the room and push the ladies to get as deep with God as is humanly possible. I get to teach bible studies once a month so pray about that, please! Thank you! I was moved from my room over to the other side of my hall and I'm completely unpacked now! If you are not aware of this, I will be having 4-5 roommates besides myself. We have two triple-high bunkbeds in each room, two full sized closets(three people per closet) and 1-2 dresser drawers each. There is also plenty of space in the room for storage bins and there are a few community storage closets on each floor. I came from a room where we each got two dresser drawers and in my new room, there is only we only have one full size dresser instead of two, so we only get 1 dresser drawer each, so I used a little bit of the Christmas money my grandma and grandpa gave me to go buy some storage units at Wal-mart. My cubicle at work has plenty of room for books, so I transfered almost all of my books from my hall to my office across campus. I'm really excited about this semester! Right now, there are only 3 of us in my new room, so when the January class arrives tomorrow and monday, we will have 2-3 more(probably 2). I would love to know who is reading my journal, so send me an email and let me know how you're doing. Pray for finances and whether or not I will be able to afford to go home for Easter or not. It would be the only time I would be able to go home before August. I would love to, but it all depends on whether the money is there on not. I just need to trust in My Supplier and if He wants me to be home for Easter, He'll pay for it...He never runs low on funds, I just have to ask for His will. This morning, I was writing a letter to the Lord and I just found myself so intensely hungry for a deeper relationship with Jesus. I want to understand "as deep cries out to deep"...I want to take this relationship to the next level. I'm yearning for a more intimate love relationship with the one and only Lover of my Soul. I'm finally realized that there is no other love on this earth that could quench my thirst and take away my hunger pains for more love like God can. It's so exciting to know that no matter how much I've learned or think I know, God is so big that He never runs out of revelations for us. When I am 99, I can still learn amazing new things about my Savior as long as I seek Him!! That's 90 years from now! Praise the Lord. God's love is like a diamond with it's many beautiful facets that would take so much time to explore every single facet! What an adventure! I truly enjoy the Love Affair!!! This has definitely been a long journal entry...I hope you enjoyed it and will pray for me! Thank you so much. Be blessed and seek the Lord - He is truly more important than anything else on your mind right now.

~1/3/03~

Today is my second day back at Teen Mania after my Christmas break. Yesterday consisted of sitting in an airport most of the afternoon, waiting for a bus and then saying hellos and unpacking. This morning, I am at work and I'm kind of tired. My roommate and I stayed up pretty late talking while I unpacked and then we got to sleep at around midnightish. At 3:30am, another one of my roommates came home...loudly..lol...so, sleep was kind of overlooked for most of my night. :o)

~1/1/03~

This is my first Journal entry! Cool! The first day of a new year! God has amazing plans to use you this year...I know that because I know my God. He's cool like that!

-Joy

Email: Ilovejc_00@yahoo.com