Dog Jokes |
The following breeds are now being considered for recognition by the AKC: |
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| Collie + Lhasa Apso: Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport Spitz + Chow Chow: Pointer + Setter: Great Pyrenees + Dachshund: Pekingese + Lhasa Apso: Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer
Spaniel: Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever: |
Newfoundland + Basset Hound: Terrier + Bulldog: Bloodhound + Labrador: Malamute + Pointer: Collie + Malamute: Deerhound + Terrier: Bull Terrier + Shih Tzu:
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How many
dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
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Pooh vs. the Cosmos |
| In dog-years Pooh is somewhere
between 28 and 35 but his behavior is that of an energetic puppy. He rarely walks if running is feasible. He explodes into every space he occupies. Every activity is his ebullent favorite activity until the next one comes along (Thank you for giving me that image). If he had a tail it would cause a breeze throughout the house. Yesterday morning he caused us much concern. Over the weekend Shirley and I had been laid low by a bug of some sort (the Iron Woman even missed a day at the office!) and I wondered at first if Pooh had contracted whatever it was that had nailed us so badly. Everything about his deportment had been normal until I let him out in the morning. He and his wagging butt had jumped on the bed to make sure I was up, to lay some new puppy secrets on me, and then as always he tried unsuccessfully to contain his energy while I took my pills and made my coffee. Turning inside-out as if he didn't know the routine yet we finally went downstairs and I opened the door for him to do his flying exit. Then I sat down at the desk and waited for conciousness to arrive. Half an hour or so later I let in...who? It looked like Pooh but he was moping and dragging. No tail wagging, no jumping on the muddyfeet hassock, no eye contact, just a fuzzy puppy with head hung low, seemingly forcing one foot in front of the other to get from A to Z. I checked to see if he had been injured, if he had a temperature, if there was some foreign object/prey stuck in his mouth. Nothing. But for the next several hours - most of the day - he just lay on my lap or next to my leg, staring out into nothingness. He didn't even respond to belly scratches. I was very worried and called Shirley. A trip to his vet seemed like a genuine possibility. Then he came out of it. The old Pooh was back. There can be only one explanation. By nature, Pooh has a very sunny outlook on life. That can't be subdued but it can be supressed. "Every dog has his day" can be a negative as well as a positive cliche. Having a sunny disposition means always assuming the grand possibilities of the world and the universe and in that regard Pooh has made it clear that his water dish is always half-full rather than half-empty. Yesterday, though, my puppy came face-to-face with the cosmos, at least the furry parts of it, and it shook him to the foundations of his being. The Truth that confronted him while he was out patrolling his domain prompted most of a day to quietly reflect and accept. What can be more profound for man or pooch than the realization that your world isn't what you thought it to be? Chasing Mr. Squirrel, as an activity, has lost some of its glimmer. It may be great fun, and it may be good exercise...but Pooh now understands that he's never, ever, going to catch the little bastard. It's a tribute to his strength of character that he didn't let it get him down for long, but nevertheless I feel his pain. |
How to bathe a cat:1. Thoroughly clean toilet. 2. Lift both lids and add shampoo 3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to the bathroom. 4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat can't escape. 5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds. ( Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this. ) 6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective. 7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids. 8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry.
Sincerely, The
Dog
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| "Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat
it; those who fail to learn history correctly-why they are simply doomed." --Achem Dro'hm |
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| Jay R. Chase Copyright © 1997 [Chase Family -Houston, TX USA]. All rights reserved. Revised: March 31, 2003 . |
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