BUFFY
"The whole world may be sucked into hell and you want my help because your girlfriend's a big ho. Well let me take this opportunity to not care."
"What about me? I love you so much. And I tried to make you go away. I even killed you, and that didn't help. And I hate it."
"Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's everyday! It's something we have to do and we can do it together!"
"Because this is all I do. This is what my life is. You wouldn't understand. I just thought... homecoming queen. I can pick up a yearbook someday and say 'I was there. I went to high school, I had friends. And for one moment, I got to live in the world.' And there'd be proof. Proof that I was chosen for something other than this. Besides, I look cute in a tiara."
"So I-I told him that I loved him. Then I kissed him. Then I killed him."
"I'm Buffy, the vampire slayer. And you are?"
"I may be dead, but I'm still pretty, which is more than I can say for you."
"All right, ten more minutes of chanting, and then you guys have to go to bed."
"I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room, with a chair, and a fireplace, and a teacozy. I don't even know what a teacozy is, but I want one. Instead I keep getting trouble, which I am more than willing to share."
"You guys seem down with the slayage."
"Come on. Kick My Ass."
"I'm suffering the afterness of a bad night of badness."
"You know, I just woke up, and I looked in teh mirror and I thought 'Hey. What's with all the sin? I need to change. I'm--I'm dirty, I'm--I'm bad with the sex, and the envy, and that--that loud music us kids listen to nowadays.' Oh, I just suck at undercover."
WILLOW
"And you! You're going to live forever and you don't even have time for a cup of coffee?"
"That's right big boy. Come and get it."
"Well, we don't try to get killed. That's part of our whole mission statement. Don't get killed."
"I'm having serious dating with a werewolf. And I am killing vampires and I'm studying witchcraft."
"That's right big boy. Come and Get it."
XANDER
"Finals, yeah. Why didn't you let me die."
"Check it out. The watcher's back on the clock...and just when you were thinking career change. Maybe a looker or a seer."
"I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away."
"Still gotten 0? But I mean, uh, in cricket?"
"Giles has a TV, everybody, he's shallow like us."
"Those wacky vampires. That's why I love 'em. They just keep you guessing."
CORDELIA
"Buffy's going for the big showdown. Wish we could help. you know, without being killed."
"Could I just ask you an eensy favor-could you just tell your friends that I'm not a Slayer?"
"Yeah, neato! Now you can run along and tell all of your friends how Cordy finally got hers. How she has to work part time just to get a lousy prom dress on layaway. And how she has to wear a name tag. Oh, I'm a name tag person. Don't leave that out; the story just wouldn't have the same punch!"
"What would you know about it? Just because you were guacamole queen when you were three doesn't mean that you understand how this works."
"...except you were kinda turning me on with that whole boy slayer look."
"I would kill to live in L.A. Being that close to so many shoes!"
"Senior boys have mystery, they have...what's the word I'm looking for? Cars."
"When it comes to dating, I'm the slayer."
ANGEL
"My friends. We are about to make history.....end."
"It's not the demon in me that needs killing Buffy, it's the man."
"I love you, I try not to but I can't stop."
OZ
"I think you would sweat cute blood."
"I'm going to go out on a limb and say there's an new slayer in town."
"Well we know the world didn't end because check it out."
GILES
"In order to be worthy you must perform the ritual in a tutu."
"We have to find Buffy. Something terrible happened. Just kidding. Thought I'd give you a scare. Are those finger sandwiches?"
"You have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone."
"Do you like my mask? It raises the dead."
SPIKE
"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love until it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other until it makes you quiver. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."
OTHER PEOPLE
"Ok, the entire world sucks cuz some dead ditz made a wish?" -Larry
"You know the difference between a freshman girl and a toilet seat? A toilet seat won't follow you around after you use it." -Parker
BUFFY AND ANGEL
"Am I a thing worth saving? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone."-Angel
"What about me? I love you so much. And I tried to make you go away. I killed you and that didn't help. And I hate it. I hate that it's so hard. And that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did because you did it to me. God... I wished that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't."-Buffy
"The prom?"-Angel
"End of high school, rite of passage thingy. Think cotillion with spiked punch and the electric slide."-Buffy
"Right."-Angel
"Angel! I love you..."-Buffy
"Love ya too, I'll call you."-Angel
"No, if you have something to say, say it. Angel, drop the cryptic, you're scaring me."-Buffy
"I've been thinking... about our future. And the more I do, the more I feel like us- you and me, being together is unfair to you."-Angel
"Is this about what the Mayor said? Because he was just trying to shake us up."-Buffy
"He was right."-Angel
"No. No, he wasn't. He's the bad guy."-Buffy
"You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and darkness. You should be with someone who can take you into the light. Someone who can make love to you."-Angel
"I don't care about that."-Buffy
"You will. And children."-Angel
"Children? Can you say jumping the gun. I killed my goldfish."-Buffy
"Today. But you have no idea how fast it goes, Buffy. Before you know it, you'll want it all. A normal life."-Angel
"I'll never have a normal life."-Buffy
"Right. You'll always be the Slayer. But that's all the more reason why you should have a real relationship instead of this- this freakshow.... I didn't mean that."-Angel
"I wanna go."-Buffy
"I'm sorry. Buffy... you know how much I love you. It kills me to say this."-Angel
"Then don't. Who are you to tell me what's right for me? You think I haven't thought about this."-Buffy
"Have you? Rationally?"-Angel
"No. Of course not. I'm just some swooning little school girl, right?"-Buffy
"I'm trying to do what's right here. I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart."-Angel
"Heart? You have a heart? It isn't even beating."-Buffy
"Don't."-Angel
"Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you."-Buffy
"I don't."-Angel
"You don't want to be with me? I can't believe you're breaking up with me."-Buffy
"It doesn't mean that I don't..."-Angel
"How am I supposed to stay away from you?"-Buffy
"I'm leaving. After the Ascension. After it's finished with the Mayor and Faith. If we survive, I'll go."-Angel
"Where?"-Buffy
"I don't know."-Angel
"Is this really happening?"-Buffy
"You read my diary? That is not ok. A diary is like a person's most private possession. You don't even know what I was writing about. Hunk can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when I said his eyes were penetrating, I meant bulging."-Buffy
"Buffy..."-Angel
"A doesn't even stand for Angel for that matter. It stands for Awsman, a charming foreign exchange student. And that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you, at all..."-Buffy
"Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched her from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear."-Angel
"Oh."-Buffy
"This isn't some fairytale. When I kiss you- you don't wake up from some deep sleep and live happily ever after."-Angel
"No. When you kiss me, I want to die."- Buffy
"Like, say, Immortality?"-Buffy
"Exactly. I'm dying to get rid of that."-Angel
"Funny."-Buffy
"I'm a funny guy."-Angel
"I like seeing you first thing in the morning." -Buffy
"It's bedtime for me." -Angel
"Then I like seeing you at bedtime...I mean...you kknow what I mean. That I like seeing you. And the part at the end of the night where we say good-bye, it's getting harder." -Buffy
"Yeah, it is." -Angel
"Do you love me?"- Angel
"What?"-Buffy
"Do you?"- Angel
"I love you, I don't know if I can trust you."- Buffy
MISCELLANEOUS CONVERSATIONS
"Woah... Faith. I can be here for you, but not like that, alright? I'm with Buffy."-Angel
"Buffy... yeah. I didn't mean it like that. Maybe I did, but I wouldn't press it. You love her, don't you?"-Faith
"I love her."-Angel
"He's delirious. He thought I was Buffy." -Willow
"You too, huh?" -Oz
"I don't get your crazy system." -Xander
"System, it's called the alphabet." -Giles
"Where is our relationship going?" -Anya
"Our what? Our who?" -Xander
"You love that tunnel more than you love me." -Harmony
"I love syphillis more than you." -Spike
"This whole trying to be like me really isn't funny anymore."-Cordelia
"I was never trying to be like you and when was it funny?"-Buffy
"I don't see why your pathetic need to recapture your glory days gives you the right to splinter my vote."-Cordelia
"How can you think that it's okay to talk to people like this? And do you have parents?"-Buffy
"Yeah, two of them. Unlike some people."-Cordelia
"Your brain isn't even connected to your mouth, is it?"-Buffy
"Why don't you do us both a favor and stay out of my way."-Cordelia
"Don't ever do that again."-Buffy
"You're sick, you know that?"-Cordelia
"Okay, let's not say something that we'll regret later."-Xander
"You crazy freak."-Cordelia
"Vapid whore."-Buffy
"Like that."-Xander
"What did you call me?"-Cordelia
"We do have to test your coolness factor. You're from LA, so you can skip the written. Let's see. Vamp nail polish."-Cordelia
"Although, I'm not exactly unpopular. A lot of people came to my welcome home party."-Buffy
"I'm gonna kill both you slayers for this. You hear me?"-Lyle
"How come I got the short straw?"-Xander
"You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millenium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species. And I have nothing but contempt for the whole forbidness lot of them."-Anya
"Please remove your clothing now." -Anya
"We have one more award to give out. Is Buffy Summers here tonight? Did she come? This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write in ballots and the prom committee asked me to read this. We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you. But that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's not secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here."-Jonathan
"Maybe we shouldn't act so couply around Buffy."-Willow
"What's the plan?"-Cordelia
"Buffy the Slayer?"- Xander
"I demand an explanation." -Cordelia
"Your logic does not resemble out Earth logic." -Buffy
"Hmm, I'm impressed."-The first evil as Jenny Calender,
"You won't get Angel."-Buffy
"I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan." -Cordelia
"I'm still Key Guy, right?" -Xander
"What do you like to do?" -Parker
"One more thing before I go." -Buffy
"Does it ever get easy?"-Buffy
"Um...over?"-Buffy
"So, over. James Spader."-Cordelia
"Trendy, but tasty."-Buffy
"John Tesh."-Cordelia
"The Devil."-Buffy
"That was pretty much a gimme, but you passed."-Cordelia
"Oh, good."-Buffy
"They were killed by zombies."-Willow
"Good point."-Buffy
"I hear you, you redneck moron. You got a dress that goes with that hat?"-Cordelia
"I'm gonna..."-Lyle
"Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch. Listen up needle brain. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend."-Cordelia
"Wife!"-Lyle
"Whatever. The point is that I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy is just the runner up. I'm the queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you?"-Cordelia
"Later."-Lyle
"You're not quite as obnoxious as most of the alpha-males around here. Plus, I know you don't have a date."-Anya
"I haven't settled on anyone yet."-Xander
"Fine. Look, I know you find me attractive. I've seen you looking at my breasts."-Anya
"Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means that his eyes are open."-Xander
"Then why are you talking to me?"-Xander
"I don't have a date for the prom."-Anya
"Well, gosh. I wonder why not? It couldn't have anything to do with your sales pitch."-Xander
"Men are evil. Will you go with me?"-Anya
"One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which."-Xander
"And the amazing thing. Still more romantic than Faith." -Xander
"Zombies."-Student
"Hyena people."-Student
"Snyder."-Student
"But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you. Or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history. And we know that at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class offers it's thanks and gives you, uh... this. It's from all of us. And it has written here, Buffy Summers- Class Protector."-Jonathan
"Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer, and had to be put down like a dog."- Cordelia
"The vampire attack you."-Xander
"And then what?"-Cordelia
"The vampire kills you. We watch. We rejoice."-Xander
"No, Buffy the Dog-Faced Girl. Duh! Who do you think I'm talking about?" -Cordelia
"For what?" -Xander
"Wesley." -Cordelia
"Uh...inbreeding?" -Xander
"Mine is much more advanced."- Xander
"Hah, you think you can fight me? I'm not a demon. little girl. I am something you can't even conceive. The first evil. Beyond sin, beyond death, I am the thing that darkness fears. You'll never see me, but I am everywhere, every being, every thought, every drop of hate."- Jenny Calendar
"All right, I get it. You're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?"-Buffy
"We attack the Mayor with humus." -Oz
"I stand corrected." -Cordelia
"Just keeping things in perspective." -Oz
"Thank you. My point, however, is, crazy or not, it's pretty much the only plan. Besides it's Buffy and she's Slay Gal. You know, Little Miss Likes-To-Fight. So..." -Cordelia
"I think there was a yay vote buried in there somewhere." -Xander
"Right." -Buffy
"Then Angel, in his non-key guy capacity can work with me." -Xander
"What fun." -Angel
"Hey. Key Guy still talking." -Xander
"Oh, that's good. Start bickering. That's gonna work great for us. You guys are like little old ladies." -Buffy
"Well, mostly, I like to hang out and do stuff." -Buffy
"A kiss." -Parker
Well, I was going to go with pants but, um, a kiss is good too." -Buffy
"You mean life?"-Giles
"Yeah, does it ever get easy?"-Buffy
"What do you want me to say?"-Giles
"Lie to me."-Buffy
"Yes. It's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies...and everyone lives happily ever after."-Giles
"Liar."-Buffy