** The Complete Sardarji Encyclopedia   **
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Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have color TVs?" "Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

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Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

* * * * * *
How do you get a Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.

* * * * * *
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where?, Where?

* * * * * *
What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

* * * * * *
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as
opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

* * * * * *
Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

* * * * *
What is the Sardar doing when he holds his
hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

* * * * * *
Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

* * * * * *
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

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How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

* * * * * *
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel

* * * * *
What do you see when you look into a Sardar's
eyes? The back of his head.

* * * * * *
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to
fly to Amritsar?" Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.

* * * * * *
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a
job. He promptly filled the columns titled
NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column
"Salary Expected" : He was not sure as to what to be
filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes

* * * * * *
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom
fighters. They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from
India but how would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta
Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would
take over us and then we would be a state of USA and
we'll automatically get developed."
All the surds became happy on this very simple
solution but an old surd did not utter a single word.
Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd
replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"

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Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you
bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to
Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being
made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him
killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks
its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"

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The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight
kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34
kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the
doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a
problem. "What's the problem?"asked the doctor. "I'm
2400 kms from home."

* * * * *
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway
station. Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this
train to Ludhiana?" "No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh

* * * * *
A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the
Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat
his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai?
Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" Sardarji
replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema
hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "

* * * * *
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway
tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with
him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab
kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train
late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"

* * * * * *
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt
sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the
train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station
arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for
20 rupees, the sardarji deserved more service. So,
when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly
shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the
Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching
home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed
when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the
matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken
my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"

* * * * *
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his
knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and
asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking
God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for
seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that
time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

* * * * * *
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth
certificate "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid:
Chinese." "How come you write "Chinese" when both
parents are Sikh?" " Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper,
it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is
a Chinese.

" * * * * * *
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were
sent to the outer space. The ground control issues
commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" (its the barking sound) "Press
the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
"Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed thedogs and
don't touch anything!"

* * * * *
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on astreet which
has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if hewants to
buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says"Yes". "Give
me a thousand rupees and I'll go get aladder." The
man took the thousand and disappeared. Havingwaited
for several hours the Sardarji figured he wastaken
for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji isagain
walking along the same street and the same manasks
him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousandrupees and
I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives himthe
thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait
and I'll go get a ladder."

* * * * *
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in> > > Bombay. They
managed to get into a double-decker bus. SantaSingh
somehow managed to get a bottom seat, Butunfortunate
Banta got pushed to the top. After a whilewhen the
rush was over, Santa went upstairs to seefriend Banta
Singh. He met Banta in a bad conditionclutching the
seats in front with both hands, scared todeath.
He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck'sgoin' on?
Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ridedown
there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, butyou've got a
driver.

* * * * * *
Santa Singh with two red ears went to his
doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and
answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the
phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I
accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "
Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But
....what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."

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