1. Never ever try to stand your ground when Bolt is coming at you with a weapon that is both harder and heavier than he is. Dodge, dive, step away, even fall on your knees and pray. Odds are you will still die, but it probably wont leave yu paralized in total pain.
2. In reference to rule number one, if you must take a charge from Bolt, try to stand behind the foul mouthed, loud punk next to you. Bolt's targeting computer is always set priority alpha for punks. If you cant find a punk, then hide behind the drooling guy with the vacant-eyed stare. Bolt will know what to do.
3. When they yell at you, be open and listen. When they clap you on the back, be very proud. When they stare at you in the eye ad smile, be very, very afraid.
4. If some guy in a red tunic invites you to join "thier revolution", then be sure to invest in a sturdy cup for your testicles. Odds are you will need it.
5. Grow eyes in the back of your head, especially when you are on the flank. Some kingdoms will say yu are "screwed" when you get hit in the back. Here in B.L. we too call such victims "screwed". We also call them "stupid".
6. Never insist on the "rules". Learn to swing, learn to fight.
7. Learn to parry for Gods' sake. Fast and slick is common, discipline is not. Impressing crownds with flash and glitter is great-surviving the battle and making children with your dead enemy's daughter and wives is better. Attila the Somebody once said something like this.
8. If cornered and outnumbered, grab the small, weak guy next to you and throw him to the wolves. Maybe this will buy you a hold as the reeves try to remvoe your now dead teammate's internal organs from the field. Rules 7 and 8 are together called the Darwin Stratagem. Rule 8 by itself is termed "The Verana Manuever".
9. Never brag about much thrust and power your "siege weapon" has. Most likely it will be chopped off at the roots and you will be shafted by your own noodles. And those squeals you hear will not be of ecstacy, but of your own catapult crew and lawyers being put to the sword (both figurative and literally). To sum this up-Do not stick (it) where someone can cut it off, beacuse someone will.
Newbie Guide Page 2
Newbie Guide Page 3
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