Chapter Two
I did see Paul again. In fact, I saw him a lot. We had really become good friends when he called me one day and told me to meet him at Tony’s. He said he had something to tell me. I told him I had some news too. It turned out his news was that Kiss had gotten a record deal and would be recording soon. I was so happy for them. My news was that I had just gotten a job at as a secretary for a department store. Simone and I decided to throw a party to celebrate both.
At first, we had wanted to invite a ton of guests. But seeing that we didn’t have enough money to have the shindig anywhere but our apartment, which was cramped enough, we only invited a few friends.
That week I started my job. I loved it and right off the bat I made friends with a girl named Carol. We hit it off very well; we liked a lot of the same music. I knew she would enjoy meeting the Kiss guys. So I invited her to the party too.
“Hey!” said Paul as soon as I opened the door. He was standing beside Gene and Peter.
“Come on in,” I said. “Where’s Ace?”
“He’ll be here in a minute. He went to the liquor store.”
“Oh, well I have plenty of liquor,” I told him.
“Um, well…that’s Ace,” laughed Gene.
I grinned.
“Let me introduce you to everyone. You know Simone,” I gestured toward the couch she was sitting on.
“Hey guys,” said Simone.
“Hel-lo,” said Gene in a suave voice as he sat down next to her. She gave him her best smile.
“This is Carol, Dana, Scott, Marcus, and Vivi,” I said pointing to each of them. “And this is Paul, Peter, and that’s Gene.”
Everyone nodded and said hello in unison.
Just then there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see Ace standing there.
“And this is Ace!” I yelled.
“Hey!” he laughed.
Everyone seemed to have a good time, and got along really well. Scott also played guitar so I found him in a deep discussion with Ace when I walked passed them to grab a beer. Carol and Peter seemed to hit it off really well, and about two hours into the party, I lost Gene and Simone.
“Where’s Simone?” I asked Dana.
“In her room I think.”
“Something wrong?”
“I doubt that,” grinned Dana. “She’s with Gene.”
“Oh!” I said blushing. I didn’t mention her anymore after that.
Paul, Dana, Marcus, Vivi, and I just sat around talking and laughing most of the night. I think those are the some of the most enjoyable times; when you laugh and drink with friends. I had a lot of fun, and I could tell Paul did too. He also kept flirting with me. I didn’t notice it at first, when he would look at me in a certain way, or pick on me jokingly. I noticed it most when he started squeezing my knee under the table. I’m very ticklish and it would make me giggle which would make him do it more. Of course I was drunk by the end of the night, so even if he had grabbed something else other than my knee, I probably sill would have laughed.
Between one and two o’clock in the morning, most everyone left. By two thirty, it was just Paul and me left in the living room. Simone emerged from her bedroom once to grab a glass of water. I followed her into the kitchen to ask how she was.
She just smiled and said, “If you hear someone walking around when you’re asleep, don’t be scared. It’s just him leaving.”
“Ah, okay,” I said.
“So, how’s it going with…” Simone asked, gesturing toward the living room.
“Fine,” I said.
“Is he staying the night?”
Then I realized what she was talking about.
“Oh, no!” I said. “We’re just friends.”
“Uh huh.”
When Simone was back in her bedroom, I walked back to the living room.
Paul and I stayed up for another two hours or so just talking. We talked about almost everything under the sun. He told me about how he and Gene met, and then the rest of the band. He also told me some ideas he had about the future of the band and other things that he was into. I talked to him about my family and college, and lastly, my ex-fiancé. I thought I had gotten over it, but I had to stop in the middle of the discussion and excuse myself to the restroom.
“I’m sorry,” said Paul when I returned.
“No, it’s okay,” I said and sat back down. There was a long silent pause as I stared at the floor.
“What was his name?” asked Paul finally.
“Who’s?”
“The ex-fiancé.”
“Michael,” I answered.
“Well, Michael’s a moron.”
I smiled.
“I should get going,” said Paul as he stood up.
“Oh,” I said. “Okay.”
“Great party. I had fun.”
“Thanks, me too,” I said. “I’m glad you could come.”
I opened the door for Paul, but before he stepped out, he kissed me on the mouth. It was so unexpected. I didn’t know how to react. Not that I had time to ponder over it, because as quickly as he kissed me, he left.
I crawled into bed that night trying to think of what exactly was happening between Paul and me. I had known him only three months, and as I told Simone, I considered him only a friend. No doubt that I was attracted to him. I had been attracted to him since that first day at the post office. But the more I was with him, the more I felt like his buddy, like one of the guys. He had never made any move or gesture toward me, other than opening doors for me and giving me hugs when he’d see me at a club. I had pretty much written Paul off as a prospective boyfriend, or even lover. But tonight there had been a lot of flirting. Then there was the knee grabbing, and finally the kiss. What did it all mean?
I could still feel Paul’s lips on mine as I rolled over and fell asleep.
The next Friday, the guys were playing, but I had to work late. I promised Paul I would be there, however, and I like to keep my promises. When I showed up, they were already on stage. I squeezed my way through the crowd to where Simone was standing and ordered a beer from the cocktail waitress.
“Paul was looking for you before,” said Simone.
“He was?”
“Yup.”
I looked up at Paul on the stage. He looked like some sort of god or superhero up there. The audience was going crazy. They loved this new band. I loved them too.
“What did he say?” I asked Simone.
“He just asked if you were with me, and I said you had to work late but would definitely be here,” she answered.
I nodded. So he asked about me. Did that mean anything? Did he want to say something about that kiss from the weekend before?
Ugh, Natalie, you always analyze shit!
After the show, I saw Gene motion for Simone to follow him.
“C’mon,” she said and grabbed my hand.
As soon as we were backstage, I literally ran into Paul.
“Hey!” he said. “You made it.” Then he kissed me.
“Yeah, sorry I had to work late,” I said when I finally caught my breath.
He smiled and said, “Don’t go anywhere.” Then he took off to remove his make-up.
Where was I gonna go?
I lost Simone and Gene again (big surprise), so I just sat down in a chair and drank a beer (my third for the evening) while I waited for Paul. When he returned, he was wearing only jeans. How I love that man’s chest! The first time I had seen the guys play in all their gear was the first time I got to see Paul’s chest. He was very hairy for a man in his early twenties. I had never been one to think a hairy chest was very sexy. I changed my mind right away with Paul.
He grinned at me. “Hi sweetheart.”
Sweetheart?
He grabbed two beers from the cooler and held out one to me. I shook my head and held up the beer in my hand to indicate I hadn’t finished yet.
“Eh, one more for the road,” said Paul and handed it to me anyway. I took it.
He opened his beer, took a drink and sat next to me. He just stared at me for little while. I could feel his eyes move up and down my body. I was glad I had decided to slip on my little black dress and heels; they made me feel sexy. But Paul’s gaze did make me feel a bit uneasy. I wondered what exactly was on his mind while he looked at me that way, so I asked him.
“What?”
Paul brushed my hair away from my face and asked, “What are your plans for the rest of the night?”
I thought for a moment and said, “I was just gonna hang out with you.”
“Good,” he whispered.
He kissed me really softly this time. I fell into it. I let my hands wander; one ended up on his chest and the other in his hair. I began to feel a sensation that I hadn’t felt since I broke up with Michael.
“Mmmm,” moaned Paul when he stopped. “Let’s get out of here.”
I grabbed my fourth beer and followed Paul outside. We took a cab to his place. I downed my beer on the way there, and I was all over him before he even opened the front door.
What the fuck are you doing, Natalie? This isn’t you, a voice said.
Oh shut up, you bitch. I’m gonna get laid.
Everything was so dark, I couldn’t see in front of me until Paul turned on a small lamp. Then I saw the doorway to the bedroom. Paul took my hand and led me there, which was also dark. I practically fell onto the bed, with Paul on top of me. I kicked off my shoes and he began to nibble on my neck and ears.
“You taste so good,” he said as began to slide his hands under my dress.
The alcohol I had consumed that evening was starting to make my head spin. I got a mental picture in my head. I was walking to a venue where the guys were playing. I spotted Paul, waved, but he completely ignored me. He acted as though he didn’t know me.
“Stop,” I said as Paul’s fingers began to enter me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I can’t do this,” I answered.
The mental picture continued. I thought maybe Paul didn’t actually see me, so after the show I walked up to him to say hello or give him a hug. But as soon as I was a few steps away, Paul walked off with blond in a tight mini skirt.
“I’ll be gentle,” Paul whispered. “I know it’s been a while.”
“It’s not that,” I said and sat up.
“What is it then?”
“I just can’t do this with you, that’s all,” I answered.
I stood up and slipped into my shoes. I couldn’t look at him. I knew if I would, I would end up going further.
You’re doing the right thing, a voice said. It’s better this way.
Are you out of your goddamn mind? The man is hot! And he wants you. How can you give up the chance to fuck his brains out?
I kept telling myself that I wasn’t that kind of girl; I don’t do one-night-stands. And that’s all it would be to him.
“You’re just gonna leave?” asked Paul.
“I have to,” I said softly.
When I reached the front door, I finally turned to look at Paul. He was still sitting on the bed with a confused look on his face. I would say he even looked a bit ticked off. I didn’t want him to be upset with me, but I knew in the long run that I would be happier with myself.
“Goodnight,” I said and shut the door behind me.