Chapter Three
I half expected to receive a call from Paul the next day or soon thereafter, but when two weeks went by, I came to the conclusion that he did not want to talk to me. Simone told me I was depressed, although I didn’t notice it myself.
“You need to go out,” she said. “Come to the movies with Carol and me tonight.”
I agreed to it, and as we took our seats in the theater, I thanked Simone for talking me into it.
“That’s what friends are for,” she smiled.
About halfway through the movie, I excused myself to go to the ladies room. As I walked up the aisle, that’s when I saw him. Paul was sitting three rows behind me with a blond bimbo next to him. She had her hand on his arm and was either whispering in his ear, or had her tongue in it. I did not want Paul to notice me, so I sped up until I was in the lobby. I let out a big sigh and made my way to the bathroom, but a hand grabbed me by the arm. I turned around to see Paul, who had an angry look on his face.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I’m here to see a movie. This is a movie theater.”
“Do you find it necessary to spy on me?” “Spy on you?” I laughed. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
I started to walk away, but Paul grabbed my arm again.
“Let go of me,” I insisted.
“Just answer this one question,” said Paul. “Why are you checking up on me if you’re not interested?”
“I’m not checking up on you, Paul. I just came to the movies with my friends.”
I stormed off to the restroom, where I let out a scream.
I was in the stall on the verge of tears when I heard the door open. I peaked over and saw Paul’s date step into the stall next to mine.
Fucking bitch, I thought.
I wiped my eyes, and walked to the sink to wash my hands. As I was doing that, the bimbo stepped out and began to apply her make-up next to me. As if she needed any more.
“Enjoying your date?” I asked, giving a smug grin.
“Of course,” she said. “He’s hot.” She smacked her lips together and blew kisses at the mirror.
“Well, you’re definitely his type.”
“I know,” she dropped her lipstick back in her purse. “Unlike you.”
She strutted out of the bathroom, leaving me speechless. How dare she make me look like the fool!
I turned to the mirror again and noticed tears were really welling up my eyes. My hands were shaking too, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I grabbed the edges of the sink for support. I was so upset. I knew I couldn’t go back into that theater. Not with Paul and his date sitting only a few rows behind me. I wanted to run straight home, but I knew I had to somehow let Simone and Carol know. I didn’t want them worried about me.
I slowly stepped out of the bathroom and walked up to the ticket usher. The movie theater was around the corner from our apartment, so this young fellow was familiar with Simone and me and knew us by name. I asked him if he would tell Simone and Carol that I wasn’t feeling well and decided to go home.
As soon as I locked the front door behind me, I fell onto my bed and let it all out.
What have I done? What happened between Paul and me?
You idiot. If you would have just slept with him…
It’s not about sex. It’s about friendship. I care about him more than just physically.
Oh but it would have been so nice…Those eyes…those kisses…that chest…
Just then, the phone rang and made me jump.
“Hello?” I said, sniffling.
“Nat? Are you alright?” It was Simone.
“Yeah. I – I just couldn’t stay there any longer.”
“Is it Paul?” she asked.
“Uh huh,” I could feel myself starting to cry again.
“I thought so. I saw him on my way out,” Simone said. “Well, Carol and I were about to go grab some pizza. Want us to come pick you up?”
“No, I really don’t feel like going anywhere.”
“Want me to come home?” she asked.
“No. Go, have fun. I just wanna be alone for a while.”
“Okay. We’ll be at Mazzio’s if you need us, or if you change your mind.”
After I hung up the phone, I lay on the bed for about twenty minutes or so just staring at the ceiling. I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew, there was a knock at my door. I thought maybe it was Simone and she had forgotten her key. But when I looked out the peep whole, I saw that it was Paul. I opened the door as far as the night latch would allow and told him to go away.
“C’mon, Natalie, I need to talk to you,” he said.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I exclaimed and shut the door.
“Natalie!”
“Go away.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” said Paul.
“Fine, stay there all night for all I care.”
All was quiet for a moment, and I thought he had actually left until I heard him knock again.
“Natalie, please let me in,” he said.
My heart melted. I gave in, unlocked the night latch, and let Paul inside.
“Where’s your date?” I asked him as I shut the door.
“I took her home,” answered Paul. He took off his jacket and sat on down on the couch. I kept my place by the door.
“Why are you so upset with me?” he asked.
“Why are you?”
“Because I thought you were checking up on me.”
“I was not!” I yelled. “I went to the movies with my friends for Christ’s sake!”
“Then why did you get all bent out of shape when you saw I had a date?”
“I – I didn’t.”
I looked away and began playing with the knick-knacks on the shelf. Why was I so upset? We hadn’t been a couple or anything. And it was my choice not to sleep with him. Paul didn’t miss his opportunity to point that out to me either.
“You had your chance with me, Natalie. And you decided you weren’t interested.”
I bit my bottom lip.
“It wasn’t that I had no interest in you, Paul,” I said. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“You’re complicated. Sex isn’t.”
I turned abruptly and glared at him.
“See, that’s exactly what I mean,” I said. “That’s all it would have been to you. I’m not like that. I’m not built that way.”
I felt the tears starting to form in my eyes again, so I turned and went into the kitchen. Paul followed me.
“I thought we were friends,” I said softly, with my back to him.
“We are friends,” said Paul.
“And I want to stay friends. I was afraid if I slept with you, I would just be a number. You would forget about me.”
“That’s not true,” he said.
I turned and looked at him.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Look, Natalie. You’re going to believe what you want to believe. If you choose not to sleep with me, fine. But we are friends, and we’ll always be friends.”
He really looked and sounded sincere. I smiled.
“I’m glad,” I said.
“So I guess these passed couple weeks you thought I was avoiding you because you left that night,” said Paul.
“Yes.”
“And I thought you left because you weren’t interested. So I decided to leave you alone.”
“Shitty, huh?” I smirked.
“Yeah.”
“Well, hey, are you hungry? Cause, I’m starving.”
“Me too!” Paul laughed.
“Wanna go to Mazzio’s?” I asked.
“Sounds good.”
We grabbed our jackets and walked around the block to the pizza parlor. Simone and Carol looked shocked when they saw us come in together, but neither of them asked me what happened with Paul there.
After stuffing my face with pepperoni and mushroom pizza, I got sleepy so Paul walked me home.
When we stepped up to my front door, Paul said, “I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always cherish your friendship.”
I didn’t know what to say. Paul brushed the hair from my face, just the way he had that night after the show. I thought he was about to kiss me again, but instead he took my hand in his.
“You mean the world to me,” he said.
I smiled and gave him a hug.
“Thank you…for walking me home,” I told him. It was thanks for more than just the walk home, however. And I think he knew that.
“No problem,” he said. “Goodnight sweetheart.”
“’Night.”
I was asleep when Simone got home, so she was nice enough not to wake me and ask about Paul. She waited for the morning to do that. Of course she thought I was crazy to turn down a guy as handsome as Paul, but she could see my point as well. Sure, I still had tingling sensations whenever I was with him. Sure, his eyes and smile made me melt and his hairy chest drove me absolutely nuts. But I shared something with Paul that was special and everlasting. I wanted to keep it that way.