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A Buffy Cinderella

Cast of Characters
Cinderspike............................Spike
Princess..................................Buffy
Fairy Godwatcher..................Giles
Godwatcher’s assistant.........Willow
Wicked Stepmother..............Harmony
Stepbrothers.........................Angel
          .........................Riley
Footperson...............................Anya
Princess’ Royal Advisor........Xander
Queen...................................Joyce
 
 

A Buffy Cinderella
by Queen of Sarab

 Once upon a time, in a land called Sunnydale, there lived a beautiful princess named Buffy. This princess’ beauty was told of across the land, far and wide, and princes and nobles came from everywhere to try and win her hand. But Buffy would have none of them.
 However, the princess’ 18th birthday was fast approaching, and one day the Princess’ Royal Advisor Xander came across something shocking. As soon as he saw it, he rushed to the throne room to tell Queen Joyce and Princess Buffy.
 “Your majesties! Your majesties!” Xander ran, huffing, into the throne room. “I’ve just found something shocking!”
 Buffy looked sharply at her advisor, eyes narrowing at the worried tone of his voice. “Vampire nest?” she asked sharply.
 “I...” Xander stopped, throwing a puzzled look at Buffy, who shrugged. “No. Something in the books.”
 “You were reading?!” Buffy snickered.
 Xander glared at her for a second. “Yes, I was...well, kind of. I was actually looking for my stash of spiderman comics and came across it by accident. But that’s not the point.” He cleared his throat for dramatic effect, carefully opening the dusty volume he held before him. “Listen to this­ ‘If the Princess is not married by her 18th birthday, the Hellmouth will open and envelop Sunnydale, and eventually the world.’ “
 “Whoa,” Buffy said after a moment. “That sucks.”

 Not too far away, in a beautiful mansion surrounded by beautiful forest and beautiful hills, a lone vampire named Spike was scrubbing the floors. Now, this vampire had once been rich himself, until his mother died and his father remarried to an evil woman with two children and....well, you know that part of the story. Anyway, his steps are evil and make him clean.
 “Bloody Harmony,” he was muttering. “I should just bloody bite her, I should. If she wasn’t already a vamp herself. Bloody hell...” Hitting an especially bad spot of mud,  he scrubbed harder, muttering obscenities. Suddenly the doorbell rang.
 “Who the hell is it?” Spike called out irritably, even as he was rising to answer it.
 Outside the door stood a chipper looking girl.
 “Hi,” she said. “I’m the royal footperson, Anya. I’m supposed to tell you that there’s a ball tomorrow night at the palace, all eligible bachelors are invited, and um... oh. Here. Take this lovely gold-sealed invitation.”
 Raising one skeptical eyebrow, Spike took it. “Thanks. Really.”
 Anya stood expectantly for a moment before Spike asked, “Well?’
 “Well, don’t I get paid or something?” Anya asked.
 “No,” Spike smiled wanly. “Sorry, dear.”
 He could hear a muttered, “This job sucks,” as he shut the door.
 He stood for a moment looking at the invitation before taking it to his stepmother.

 “Oh, I’m sooo excited!” Harmony squealed. “The Princess is looking for a husband, and it could be one of my little boys! Isn’t that right, boys?”
 “Yes, mother,” Angel and Riley both sighed.
 Harmony glanced to where Spike was leaning arrogantly against a door frame. “Before you ask, Spikey, no, you may not go.”
 “I wasn’t going to ask,” Spike answered.
 “No,no, don’t beg, Spikey, I can’t stand it,” Harmony cooed. “I suppose if you finish all your chores and get yourself a decent dress...”
 “Harmony, you’re a bloody idiot.”
 “Spikey! We talked about you calling me Mother, remember?”
 “And we also talked about you not calling me ‘Spikey’, didn’t we?” Spike retorted.
 Ignoring him, Harmony turned back to her sons. “Go do your chores, Spikey.”
 “Yes, mother...”
 Harmony continued to ignore him. “Now, we must go and get you both nice new dresses for the ball...”
 “Um, mother?” Angel cut in tentatively. “I don’t suppose we could wear suits instead of dresses? I mean, last time we wore dresses to a ball they kinda kicked us out...”
 “No, I suppose that wouldn’t do,” Harmony frowned. “All right. Let’s go see the tailor.”

 The next night...
 
 “Have you finished all your chores, Spikey?”
 Harmony stood in the front hall of the mansion, looking with distaste at the direly unsnazzy condition of Spike’s clothing. “Have you found a dress?”
 “Harmony...” Spike sighed, but was cut off.
 “Mother.”
 “Mother.” Spike spat. “I already told you, I don’t want to go to your bleedin’ bloody ball. At the risk of screwing up the story further than it already is, leave.
 Pouting, Harmony complied, pushing her still silent sons before her.
 As soon as he was left alone, Spike sighed in relief. “Finally. Some peace.” Then, after some, *ahem*, gentle prodding from the author, he got back to the story.
 “So, I suppose I should cry and whine and wish to go to the ball now,” Spike sighed. “Fine. Boo-hoo-hoo, I want to go to the ball sooo much and dance with the beautiful princess. If only there were some way for me to go, hinthint nudgenudge winkwink...”
 In a sudden poof of pink glittery light, a strange British man wearing a frilly pink gown appeared, accompanied by a redheaded girl in similar attire.
 “Who the hell are you?” Spike asked.
 “I’m your, ah, Fairy Godwatcher, Giles,” the Fairy Godwatcher said. “And this is my assistant, Willow.”
 “May I ask why you’re wearing a bloody pink frilly dress?”
 Giles gave him a withering look. “It’s part of the job, alright? I’m just trying to make a little extra money. It’s not like I enjoy it.”
 “Although it is kinda cute,” Willow threw in perkily.
 “Uh-huh. Would you just get me to the ball already?”
 “Patience, patience,” Giles scolded. “We’ve got to get a pumpkin, and some mice, and...”
 “Just cut through all that, Pink,” Spike rolled his eyes. “Can’t you just create them out of thin air or something?”
 “Yes,” another withering look from the Godwatcher, “but the story...”
 “Forget the bleeding story! We’ve already digressed qute a bit, just...make it happen. Bippity-boppity or whatever.”
 “Fine.”
 A few seconds later, a beautiful carriage, complete with horses, was ready and waiting to carry a now snazzy Spike to the ball.
 
 “I don’t know what I’m going to do!” Buffy paced wildly, staring in distress at the townspeople dancing around the ball room. “I can’t stand any of these men!”
 “Don’t distress yet, Buffster,” Xander reassured. “I’m sure that one of these...um, yeah. Well, there’s still bout 15 minutes till midnight.”
 “What?!”
 “Ooo, I was supposed to be keeping you updated on the time situation, huh? Sorry bout that one.”
 Which was when Spike walked in the door. Clad in an extremely sexy ensemble of black leather- pants and duster coat that touched the floor- he far outdid anyone in the room. Even Angel.
 “Him! I chose him!” Frantically Buffy pointed in his direction. “You! Marry me!”`
 “Huh. That was easy,” Spike muttered. “And quite unexpected. Yeah, okay.”
 Within moments, a priest had been summoned and the ceremony sealed. At “You may now kiss the bride,” Spike leaned in, planting a passionate kiss on his new bride.
 “All hail Prince Spike, our future king!” called out the royal bellower- person.
  “All hail!”
 “Thank God,” Buffy sighed. “Sunnydale is saved once again.”
 Spike peered at her closely. “By the way, did I happen to mention I was a vampire?”
 “What?!”
 And they lived happily ever after.

 Umm....The End?!