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CHAPTER 39
He stood outside her door trying to calm his nerves. Finally, he opened the door to a darkened room. He stepped in and the door slammed a split second before his body slammed back against it.
"So are you mine?"
"Yes," he said.
Pushing harder against his chest, she whispered, "I don't believe you Kevin."
"It's true."
"Whatever I want I get?"
"Yes," he whispered.
"Anything? You won't fight back?"
"Anything."
"We shall see."
She removed her hand from his chest. A small pin light came on, pointing at the floor.
"You should have practice with this. Follow the light."
He did as directed. He found, while his nerves had not calmed, excitement was growing. He saw a chair in front of him. She had not moved.
"Strip."
After removing his clothes, she said, "sit."
Again, he obeyed.
"Kevin we have a problem."
"What," he asked, searching the darkness for her.
The light dropped to his erection and she said, "you seem to be excited. I don't want you excited yet. So I suggested you take care of this problem."
"How," he asked, anticipating her answer. He was wrong.
"Lose the erection or I'll make you loose it." Suddenly she was behind him as she whispered in his ear, "If I do it, it'll hurt."
She paused and watched him. "I see you need an explanation. I will yank your balls hard enough to make you think their coming off." For emphasis, she flicked the head of his penis hard. "Good boy. Visuals work with you. Now don't move."
He heard her walk across the room and open a door. Dim light illuminated the room. He realized she had gotten the adjoining room on the opposite side from Nick's suite.
"Stay there like a good boy and I'll be back."
He sat and waited. The chair was getting uncomfortable. He wanted desperately to move, to find her, but he remained where she left him. He was stronger and could play this game. Hell he played it better than anyone he knew. Of course, usually he was in control and the times he chose to give up control his partner always seemed to keep it in the more conventional realm.
"Kevin," she whispered. "Look at me."
Kevin turned his head. Nothing prepared him for the sight before him. Never in any of his fantasies of Jordan had he pictured this. She was in leather with stiletto pumps. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail high on her head. She flipped on the light in the room. He squinted. She moved to stand in front of him. His eyes slid down her body. The catsuit fit like a glove where there was material. However, her breasts were exposed, as was the space between her legs. He swallowed when he saw she was shaved. He assumed her bottom was also exposed. He later found out he was right.
One well-manicured hand suddenly wrapped around his balls and squeezed.
"Kevin control. I didn't give my permission."
Through gritted teeth he said, "Can't help it."
She let go of him and grabbed his ponytail, forcing his head back. "Ok then you asked for it."
Kevin again swallowed as he braced for the pain. Her eyes sparkled with amusement. Leaning in she tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth.
"Your punishment is you will not cum tonight."
"What," he choked out.
"I'm going to hurt you alright. Baby I am going to keep you up all night. You will not release until after the sun is back up."
So the game began…
Kevin never thought Jordan was serious. He found out he was wrong. When he would not sit still she forced him onto the bed. She tied him then used her hair to tease every inch of skin available to her.
Without warning she took him all the way into her mouth. His hips bucked up against her and he groaned as he felt her teeth pulling on his skin. She licked and teased him until he was ready to release, but stopped before he could.
This continued on into the night. She alternated between teasing to full on tormenting him, but not once did he find his release. She instinctively knew when he was close and pulled him away from it.
Sometimes she would just abruptly stop whatever it was she was doing to him. Other times she would use some little form of brutality to pull him back from the edge.
At dawn he begged her to fuck him. She laughed as she sat on his hardness and clenched him inside her. Again he was denied.
He cursed when she sat on top of him, her center mere inches from his mouth as she brought herself to climax. Her wetness on his chest. Her scent driving him crazy. She placed her fingers against his lips and gave him permission to lick them. He gladly did as he was told.
He thought he would loose all sense of reason when she started asking him when he finally got to cum did he want her in the leather. Or would he prefer her nude? He chose nude only to be forced to endure her undressing for him.
Finally she told him as she untied his feet that he couldn't move until she gave permission. She untied his arms. Her mouth pressed against his ear she said, "In a moment you get what you've wanted all night. You get to fuck me until you cum, but first…"
Before he could say anything, she reached down and smacked his erection hard.
He screamed, "What the fuck?"
"Don't want you cum the second your inside me."
Kevin threw her on the bed and was inside her almost simultaneously. Jordan braced her hands against the headboard. Kevin held her legs wide as he slammed into her again and again. He didn't care if he hurt her. His body had taken over. He thrusts were lifting her pelvis off the bed.
To Jordan's surprise Kevin pulled out and got off the bed. Grabbing her ankles he pulled her to the edge of the bed.
He said through clenched teeth, "I couldn't fuck you hard enough on the bed."
She smiled at him. Damn it she wasn't suppose to smile. She was suppose to be frightened by what she created, but she wasn't. As a matter of fact, she was teasing him. Pinching his nipples and raking her nails down his chest. Stroking him. Guiding him.
"What if I hurt you?"
"Never happen."
"No?"
"Nope. God made me so I can take it."
"We'll see," he said as he slammed into her again.
Suddenly he felt it…her gripping him inside of her. He felt himself loosing control. His entire body tensed as he felt it start. Everything collected at the center of his body where he was joined with her then suddenly left him. His body bucked against her and her name left his lips. His grip on her thighs was merciless. As his climax subsided he collapsed on her, gasping for air.
Jordan smoothed his hair from his face. He slid to his knees. With his head lying on her stomach, he began to relax. His hands caressed her thighs. He began to kiss and nuzzle her stomach. He trailed kisses lower, kissing the insides of her thighs. Before he could continue his exploration, Jordan pulled away.
“Why?”
“I’m still in control.”
Jordan disappeared into the bathroom. Kevin heard the shower turn on. After a minute, he followed. He watched her through the glass shower door. She didn’t look at him, but knew he was watching all the same.
“You may join me.”
He moved to stand behind her in the shower. He took over washing her hair then moved to her body. Once clean, she stepped out. He didn’t follow. He watched her walk out of the room wrapped in a robe. He went about cleaning himself. Kevin was surprised at the tears welling up in his eyes. He realized he had lost her. Punching the wall, he left the shower, not bothering with a towel.
She looked up from her place on the bed. “I’m done with control. You’re free.”
“But you do it so well,” he said in attempt to get a reaction.
“I know.”
“What happened to us Jordan?”
She laughed bitterly, “Kevin there was never an us! Don’t you get it? My God you are stupid!”
“Fuck you!”
“Oh no,” she said. “You are married. How many times do I have to tell you, because of that there is no us. Kevin give up.”
“Never!”
“Why not? Because you’re ego can’t take being told no?”
“No! I love you!”
“No you don’t. You are in love with what happens between us. If you truly loved me you would stay away or you would do what it takes to be with me…really with me. But you don’t have the balls to do either.”
He stared at her. He couldn't formulate a response.
“Why did you come here? The truth.”
“I wanted to see you,” he answered plainly .
“Bullshit. What happened with Kristin?”
“Who said anything happened with Kristin?”
“I say it. What didn’t she do or what did she do?”
“She wouldn’t go to Japan. She let me spend Thanksgiving alone.”
“So this is to get back at her.”
“No! Damn it stop putting words in my mouth. I realized if we were together you would be there. Then I heard Mike and Eddy talking about Nick’s vacation and Mike said you were coming. I won’t apologize for missing you.”
“Don’t apologize for anything. Just get your stuff and for the last time go home to your wife.”
“I don’t want my wife!”
“Well too freakin’ bad! You don’t get me.”
“But you love me. I know you do.”
“No I don’t.”
He looked at her blank face. He pulled on his clothes from the night before. Without a word he stormed out the door, slamming it so hard the pictures on the connecting walls shook.
Jordan looked at the clock. It read 11:00 am. Sighing, she reached for the TV remote. She flipped until she found a talk show. Snuggling down into the covers she fell asleep.
CHAPTER 40
“Baby wake up,” slurred Kevin.
“What,” asked Jordan, trying to adjust her eyes to the dimly lit room.
“Wake up.”
“Kevin?”
“Yeah baby.”
Jordan felt him pawing her. She could smell the liquor. He apparently had turned off all the lights and muted the TV. The drapes were still drawn. She caught a glimpse of the clock, 1:00pm. She felt his full weight on her. Pushing against him did nothing to move him off her.
“Kevin stop. Your drunk.”
“I’ve had a few,” he said before his lips crashed down on hers.
Turning her head and freeing her lips, she demanded, “Kevin get off of me!”
“Baby I want to love you. Let me love you.”
“No.”
“Jordan damn it! Why have you always got to make everything so hard,” he asked.
Raising up on his knees. Jordan’s eyes traveled over his body as he sat straddle of her. He undressed before climbing on the bed and waking her. He pulled at the tie of her robe. She began twisting under him. It only served to help him open the robe. Kevin’s hands grazed over her exposed flesh.
He murmured, “so beautiful.”
“Kevin you don’t want to do this.”
“I wanna love you baby. Why won’t you let me?”
“This isn’t love.”
“It is.”
“No.”
“Jordan you know you fuckin’ want me too. You always want me. You’ve got it just as bad as I do."
“That’s not true Kevin. Now get off me!”
“I know I can make you feel something.”
“Not like this.”
“Watch me,” hissed Kevin, his eyes growing dark with anger.
His mouth again captured hers and he lay his body out flat on her. He relished the warmth of her skin. He had her pinned to the bed. She wasn’t fighting him anymore. He moved down to take her nipple into his mouth, sucking greedily. He began to realize she wasn’t fighting and she wasn’t responding to him. He stopped his groping to look at her. She stared at the ceiling. She was shutting him out.
“Damn it you will feel something,” he growled.
A smile crossed her face as she replied, “no I won’t.”
Kevin went back to work. He did everything he could think of…everything she liked…still no response. Kevin finally rolled off her in frustration. Jordan looked at him. He was flushed and a thin layer of sweat covered his body. She could tell he was so mad. His ego was really taking a bruising. It was quite amusing. Before she realized it, she laughed. She didn’t mean to, but the sound escaped her mouth before she could stop it.
In Kevin’s drunken state something snapped. No one would fuckin’ laugh at Kevin Richardson when he was in the bedroom! Jordan realized her mistake the second his eyes focused on her. She accepted what she knew was about to happen.
Kevin grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to him. His kissed her roughly. He forced her on to her stomach. She didn’t fight him.
“You think it’s funny? I’m tried of being mind fucked by you!”
“Kevin you don’t want to do this.” Her voice was still calm.
“Why’s that?”
“Because you will regret it.”
“What are you going to do,” he taunted and as he began to spread her cheeks.
“Nothing.”
“You will do something! You will fuckin’ feel this!”
“No I won’t. You do this, you do it alone.”
Her calm voice was driving him insane. He flipped her onto her back. He pulled her legs up high.
“How am I doing it alone? I’m fuckin’ your ass!”
“Just like always Kevin. You get my body. Nothing else.”
“I will make you feel,” he said.
He spread her cheeks again and began pushing. He had enough experience with anal sex to know lubrication was needed. He knew what he was doing by pushing into her this way. He was past the point of caring and pushed all sense of reason to the back of his mind. He was blind with pain…emotional. He felt her body's resistance. He grip her hips tighter and pushed harder. He watched her face. He saw the briefest look of pain in her eyes. That alone should have made him stop, but something in him wouldn’t let him. It was the fact that the look only remained a second before her face went blank again. He felt so much when with this woman and he would make her feel something too. He continued to push. He felt his tip push past her tight muscles, but there was only more tightness. His body reacted to the sensation.
“So tight,” he exhaled.
“Kevin,” she whispered. His eyes focused on her face. “Goodbye.”
He pushed and felt himself slip a little deeper into her. He was still watching her eyes. What he saw made him stop all movement. Her eyes were completely blank. In that one instant, she shutdown on him. He didn’t move.
He whispered, “Jordan? Baby?”
No response. All of this happened in less than a minute, but it was long enough. Suddenly he was very sober and realized what he was doing. He eased out of her as gently as he could. He gasped when he saw blood. He placed Jordan’s legs on the bed and went into the bathroom, returning with a washcloth. Jordan was lying curled up on her side, facing away from him.
The light from the bathroom illuminated the room more. He could see some traces of blood on the sheets. He gently cleaned her and waited to see if she was still bleeding. Kevin had barely entered her. He could only imagine how much damage he could have done if he hadn’t stopped. Jordan was rocking slightly on the bed. Kevin reached out to comfort her but she moved away from his touch. He moved to the wall she was facing and, like in Vegas, he sat down on the floor and waited.
A couple of hours went by and nothing changed. Kevin’s head was resting on his arms, but it shot up when he heard movement on the bed. Jordan slowly got up and went to the bathroom. After a few minutes she came out. She pulled an oversized T-shirt from her suitcase and put it on. She looked at the bed, but instead moved to other room she had booked. Kevin pulled on some sweats and followed her.
He found her sitting on the bed. Her knees were drawn up under her chin. She had taken her hair out of the ponytail. It now fell, uncombed, around her shoulders. Kevin tentatively sat down on the foot of the bed.
“Jordan I’m sorry.”
“Shut up Kevin.”
He opened then closed his mouth and waited.
“I suppose it’s time you learned about Ormond. When I told you I was with the devil, I was serious Kevin. You are a pussycat compared to him. I met Ormond my junior year at Belmont. He was a teaching assistant for the Economics class I had put off. We met the first day of class. He made me blush with a compliment. He was tall, dark, and handsome. Imagine that,” she said with a bitter chuckle. “Ormond pursued me. He did all the romantic things a girl wants. Flowers just because. Cooked a meal for me. Listened when I talked. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I mean here was the suave, gorgeous man and he was interested in me. Jordan Buchanan from Hollow Lake, TN! Girls were lined up to go out with him, but he chose me. I was such a fool. In the beginning, he never forced me to not go home. No I willing stayed in Nashville just to be with him. For awhile it was wonderful. Things changed. He loved control. He started out fulfilling fantasies I didn’t even know I had. In return, I would fulfill his. The difference was, his fantasy kept getting darker. I remember the first time he did what you started to do. I couldn’t walk the next day and I bled much worse. He wouldn’t let me go to the doctor. So I missed a couple days of classes.”
She paused for a moment gauging his reaction. He said nothing, only waited.
“It wasn’t enough for me to stay completely submissive to him. He wanted me to fight him. It made my submission much sweeter. So he trained me.”
“Trained you?”
“Yeah. He started training me in self-defense, kickboxing, and judo. I could be one of your bodyguards. I’m that good.”
Again, she paused to see how he was handling all of it.
“Anyway, he would literally attack me. I never knew when it would come. I would fight back, but because he was always the teacher he made sure there were a few tricks he kept to himself. You know how most couples when they do this stuff have a safe word?”
“Yeah?”
“We didn’t."
“What?”
“He didn’t allow me a safe word.”
“But that means you could never stop him.”
“Exactly.”
“Shit,” he exhaled.
“I know. I tried getting away from him. He threatened my friends and family. He said he would kill me then go after them. If I’m dead I can’t protect them. So I stayed. The other thing Ormond loved about me was my tolerance of pain. I could withstand quite a bit. More than even he could.”
“How did you finally break free?”
“My grandmother,” she said. “She showed up one day outside one of my classes. She had called a few times in the preceding months. She learned enough about Ormond to figure out when she could get to me safely. At first, I wouldn’t admit anything. She kept on though. She put two and two together and realized what kind of man Ormond was. Of course, she also had him checked out.”
“How did she manage that?”
“My Uncle Raymond,” she stated. “He’s not really my uncle. He was my grandpa’s best friend. He’s also high up in government. Well he’s retired now, but when he was working some of his assignments were so classified he would leave in the middle of the night and be gone for months at a time. No one asked when he came back either. Anyway, he did some checking on Ormond and found out he was a political refugee from the Middle East. I’m deliberately being vague, partly for your protection and partly because I don’t know everything. That was for my own protection.”
“I understand.”
“So Ormond had to flee his home country, because he beat up the son of the wrong man. The man was in the government. He goes back he’s dead.”
“Wow.”
“Yep. Where was I? Oh yeah. He was getting more and more sadistic. I finally knew I had to get away. It took awhile.”
“But how?”
“You know how I checked out on you earlier,” she asked and from the look on his face knew the answer. “I learned that while I was with Ormond. I slowly started retreating into myself when he would start. He had the same reaction you did. But you really are no match for him in his ruthlessness. Things escalated to a point where I thought I would die before I got away. It reached a point where I never left the house without him. He walked me to my classes and everything. I just needed for him to leave me alone long enough to get away. Finally, he did. It was the night I got the scar.” She lifted her left arm to show him, as if he could forget. “I’ll never forget that night. It was cold, but not cold enough to turn the rain into snow. He had not managed to get me to react at all the last time he had attacked. So he brought home a new toy to play with.”
Kevin felt his stomach clench, but he still asked, “Jordan what was the toy?”
“A scalpel. He was in the middle of I guess you could say raping me. I checked out the minute he touched me. He orgasmed at the same time his sliced into my arm. The problem was he wasn’t expecting so much blood. He also couldn’t believe I didn’t react. God it hurt, but I knew he'd stay if I reacted. He freaked and left the apartment. Imagine, someone like him freaked out by blood! I got up and checked my arm. I knew I needed stitches, but I couldn’t get them in town.”
“God baby what’d you do?”
“I put a pressure bandage on it and grabbed some ice. I hoped numbing it would slow the bleeding. Got in the car and drove to Hollow Lake. I sped all the way. Praying the whole time not to wreck. I got there in just over an hour. God was with me that night.”
“You went to your parents?”
“Hell no! I went to my grandmother’s. She opened the door and took care of me. I was lucky, because he just missed a main artery.”
Kevin couldn’t believe how calmly she was telling him all of this. “So what happened to Ormond?”
“The first call Grandmother made was to Doc Anderson. The second call she made was to Uncle Raymond. He got there just as Doc was finishing with me. He asked what I wanted him to do. As much as I hated Ormond, I couldn’t tell them to send him back to certain death. So instead, we put the fear of Uncle Raymond into him. To this day, he knows if he takes a new pet, as he likes to call lovers, or steps out of line once, he is back to the home country.”
“So you haven’t seen him since.”
“No. I’ve seen him. I saw when I went to get my stuff. I’ve run into him a couple of times. The last time was when I took Nick to the airport back in July.”
“Nick’s seen him?”
“Yes.”
“He never told me.”
“He had no reason to.”
“God Jordan, I had no idea. I’m so sorry I brought that back up.”
“I know you’re sorry. I’m sorry too.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I should have never started it last night.”
“It’s no excuse.”
“No it’s not. Kevin, I think the last 24 hours have been a pretty good indicator that right now we aren’t good for each other. We bring this side out in each other. We’ve been doing this almost since the day we met. We just keep pushing. I think we've pushed far enough.”
“Yeah. I don’t ever want to hurt you.”
“Well you have,” she answered bluntly. “But then again, I’ve hurt you too. So I guess we’re even.”
“You scared me earlier.”
“I know. I’m sorry about that.”
“No. I should have never caused you to do it.”
“Kevin you know this is the last time.”
“Yeah.”
He moved to hug her. He was glad when she didn’t pull away.
“Jordan I know we can’t be together now, but if I ever get my life straightened out?”
“I don’t know Kevin. I think we’ve both been forced to realize we have some demons we haven’t put to rest.”
“Yeah, but…”
She interrupted, “I will give you my conditions for you being in my life. You have to be single. You have to be willing to commit to me completely. No infidelity at all…including men. No drugs. You have to have your demons under control. I will work on all my shit too. Because if we are together we can never push each other as far as we have.”
“I don’t know if I can ever come to you completely free and everything like you ask.”
“I know. Just go take care of you.”
“I will. You take care of you. You know I love you.”
“I know.”
Kevin made flight arrangements. He was going up to Seattle early. Kristin was still meeting him there. They would be attending a fundraiser for cancer research. When he left, it was the hardest thing had ever done. He felt like he was walking out on his happiness, but he also knew he needed to finish what he started. He just hoped Jordan would one day be in his life again.
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