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CHAPTER 23
Jordan prayed she would hold it together until she reached her room. Why did the elevator have to go to the lobby? The doors opened to reveal Billy and Nick along with several fans standing behind them. The two men hesitated for a moment before stepping inside. Billy punched the button for Nick’s floor and the doors closed. Nick immediately turned to Jordan.
“Shaq why are you running around in a robe?”
“Need to get to my room,” she answered, refusing to make eye contact.
Before he could ask another question the doors opened on Jordan’s floor and she darted out. He watched her walk quickly down the hall. Once at her door she dropped everything but her jeans, which she searched for her room key.
Tears blurred Jordan's vision as she put the key in wrong and swore. She heard the ding of the elevator as it moved onto Nick’s floor. She just wanted in her room and into a hot shower. She fumbled with the key, but suddenly a larger hand took it from her and opened the door. She didn’t need to look up to know who it was. She bent to pick up her clothes and felt her stomach lurch.
“I got it.”
She trusted he did as she ran to the bathroom.
Nick picked up her clothes and shoes, carrying them inside he placed them on the bed. He could hear her throwing up in the bathroom. He noted her bed was untouched and her bags unpacked. In that instant he knew where she had come from. After a minute he tapped on the door.
“Jordan you ok?”
Looking in the mirror Jordan choked out, “yeah. I’m taking a shower.”
“Alright.”
Jordan didn’t have a clue how long she was in the shower. She just wanted to block everything out. Finally turning off the water, she wrapped a towel around her hair and another around her body. She was surprised to see Nick sitting in a chair when she walked back out into the room.
“You’re still here.”
“Yeah,” he replied as he watched her take the clothes off the bed and throw them away. “Jordan talk to me.”
“Sure. Let me get dressed,” she agreed before pulling clothes out of her suitcase and disappearing back into the bathroom.
“So what do you need to talk about,” she asked upon opening the door.
Nick asked, “what happened?”
“What do you mean?”
“Jordan what happened with Kevin?”
“Kevin,” she paused as if to think. “Did you know Kristin's here? She flew in to surprise him.”
“Oh God Jordan don’t tell me she caught you two.”
“No. Like I told her. Kevin was nice enough to let me use his tub while he was out this morning. Wasn’t that nice of him Nick,” she asked as she finally looked at him.
“Dan come here,” he said as he held his arms open.
Jordan hesitated for a moment before running to him. He pulled her down on his lap. She clung to him as she cried. She didn’t sob or really cry. What she did was hold her breath until she couldn’t anymore then she would gulp in air and repeat. The tears wetting his T-shirt at the base of his throat told the story of how much she was crying.
Nick felt helpless as he held her. Rubbing her back and whispering to her was the only thing he knew to do. He could punch Kevin right now. He would have enjoyed Kristin catching her husband if he had been caught with anyone but Jordan. Jordan was good hearted and though she couldn’t admit it, she loved Kevin. Even though Nick hated to admit it Kevin loved Jordan, but he still didn’t deserve her.
“Hey aren’t you guys meeting with AJ,” she asked as her tears subsided.
“Yeah,” sighed Nick. “I’m really looking forward to this. Billy knows where I am. He’ll come get me when it’s time.”
Jordan lifted her head to look at him. “If you need to talk when it's done, you know where to find me.”
“Do you think it'll work?”
“I don’t know. I hope it does. He can’t go on like this.”
“I know, but damn. You know?”
“Yeah I know.”
“Jordan what’s going to happen now that Kristin is here?”
“Nothing. I go on about my business and leave the happy couple alone.”
Before Nick could push further there was a knock. Jordan wiped her face on the way to the door. Nick saw her jump when she opened the door.
“Jordan is Nick here?”
“Yes he is. One second Kevin.”
The moment Nick heard Kevin’s voice he bolted out of the chair. As he got to the door, Jordan closed it and turned to him.
“Nick don’t take on my battle.”
“Jordan he’s a bastard to hurt you!”
“Nick, I went into this with my eyes open. I knew what would happen if I went to his room last night. I made a choice. Now I have to live with it. Don’t let this take your focus off of helping AJ. He needs it.”
“But…”
“Nick please promise me.”
“Alright. Open the door.”
Jordan opened the door to find Kevin hadn’t moved. She stepped back to open the door wider and Kevin stepped inside.
“Nick wait for me outside.”
“Oh No! Not happening.”
“Nick,” Kevin snapped.
“Look asshole.”
“Nick,” interrupted Jordan. “It’s ok. Wait outside. This will not take long.”
“I’m only doing it cause you asked me.”
He leaned down and kissed her cheek as he stepped into the hallway. Jordan closed the door. Kevin moved to embrace her, but she held out her hands. He backed away and looked around. Something caught his eye in the corner of the room He recognized the material hanging out of the trashcan.
“I always liked this on you,” he said as he walked over and pulled the shirt out.
“I know.”
“Jordan…”
“Don’t Kevin.”
“But I have to.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you have to say anything? I shouldn’t have come to you. Besides it was just sex.”
“No,” he hissed through clenched teeth as he reached for her. “It was not just sex.”
“What do you want Kevin? Do you want me to say you’re right? To pledge my undying love to you? Too bad. Not happenin’. I told you last night you get my body not my soul.”
“But I have you heart. I felt it this morning.”
“You are not someone I can have. This is not an option for us. Face it Kevin, if I were all hysterical now then you could justify walking away and choosing Kristin. I would be just like every other woman you’ve played with. Guess what? I’m not like them, because you never got inside. You will never be inside until I have your soul.”
“You think you can handle my soul,” he said as his eyes went dark. She merely laughed at him and in an instant he had her pinned to the bed. “Don’t tell me I don’t scare you.”
“You don’t,” she said with an amused look on her face.
“You have no idea what I’m capable of,” he growled as he tightened his hold on her.
“Yes I do,” she said has she lifted her head quickly and bit his bottom lip enough for him to feel it but not leave a mark.
“Fuck!”
“See Boo,” she said as she leveraged her body against the bed and reversed their positions. “I was taught how to play this game by one of the best. I’ve been with pure evil and baby you ain’t it.”
Nick was rocking on the balls of his feet as the minutes ticked off. Finally, he gave in and started to knock. After a moment the door opened. Kevin looked pale and defeated. Nick didn’t like the look in Jordan’s eyes, but couldn’t figure out what it meant.
“You guys go take care of AJ," she said as she closed the door.
The two men moved to the elevators. Once inside, Kevin couldn't take the silence anymore.
"Nick."
"Save it Kevin."
"Wait a minute."
"No. I'm pissed but I'll let it go because she asked me too. So for right now shut up and let's focus on helping AJ."
With that said, Nick left Kevin in the elevator with his mouth hanging open. He recovered in time to step out before the doors closed on him. Nick had left the door open to the room they were meeting in. Kevin took in some deep breaths to calm himself as he walked down the hall. Stepping in he closed the door and the meeting began.
Chapter 24
A few hours, one emotional meeting and one broken hand later, all the Backstreet Boys were inside the arena acting as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
Jordan was sequestered in the production office as an attempt to stay out of everyone's way. She was working on some things for Skip. As she worked, a hand came to rest on the papers in front of her.
"Do you see these rings?"
"Yes. They're lovely."
"Do you know what they mean?"
"You're married?"
"That's right. I'm married to Kevin. I am the one he will always come back too."
Jordan looked up at Kristin. The woman was attempting to be menacing. Jordan composed herself so not to laugh.
"Is there a point to this?"
"Yes stay the hell away from my husband."
Jordan stood up quickly and smiled when the other woman jumped.
"Not a problem Kristin. Please excuse me."
Kevin did not miss how pale Jordan was as she walked out of the Production Office and headed down the hall. His concern turned to anger when he saw his wife follow her out. Kristin was too busy watching Jordan’s retreating back to see her husband come up behind her. It was her turn to pale when she felt his hand on the back of her neck.
He whispered in her ear, “Hello wife. What are you doing?”
“Oh nothing.”
“Wrong answer,” continued Kevin as he tightened his grip on her neck. “What are you doing?”
“Just talking to you’re who…Jordan,” she corrected as he tightened his hand again.
“She is none of your concern, therefore I don’t think there will be any need for you to talk to her in the future.”
“I can talk…”
“Excuse me?”
“You want to leave your hand print?”
“Don’t wear your hair up and don’t mess with Jordan,” he whispered before releasing her.
To the crowd watching the concert everything was fine. The Boys were putting on a good show. They laughed with Kevin each time he teased Nick about punching a wall. Nick appeared to take the ribbing good naturedly.
Back at the hotel that evening, Jordan sought out Nick. She intended to find out what happened to his hand. He at first blew her off, saying he hurt it playing basketball. While that may be the story the Firm had cooked up for the public, it wasn’t going to fly with Jordan.
“Don’t worry about it Shaq.”
“Too late. Already worried. Did things go badly with AJ?”
“Nah. It’s all cool.”
Jordan made him sit and look at her when she said, “tell me what happened.”
The simple act of her mussing his hair and caressing his cheek weakened his reserve. With a trembling bottom lip, he said, “Yeah things are that bad with AJ. He quit.”
“What?”
“He said I don’t need you. So fuck you and fuck the band! I quit!”
Jordan sat in stunned silence.
“He’s taking off. He doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. He’s leaving me,” continued Nick until he voice cracked.
Jordan pulled him to her and rocked him as he cried. “He does Nicky. He just can't think straight right now. He’s scared.”
“Of me? What did I do to him?”
“You…all of you are asking him to give up his safety net. That would scare the shit out of anyone.”
"I guess."
"Think about it. Remember."
Nick's head shot up. "What do you mean remember?"
Sighing she said, "I've heard things about you. If what I've heard is true, then there was once a time when you had to give up your safety net. I'm sure it was scary for you."
"Yeah," he said in a hushed tone.
"That's what he's going through now."
"What if he doesn't come back?"
"Then I hunt him down and rip him a new one," she stated with such venom it made him laugh.
"Big bad Jordan on the case. I'm sssoooo scared."
"Nicky if I go after him I will rip him open in ways none of you can."
Something in her tone made Nick shiver.
Changing the subject, Jordan asked, "So did you break your hand when AJ said he quit?"
"Yeah. I was just so made at him and Kevin."
"Kevin?" Nick only nodded his head. Jordan forced him to look at her. "You punched a wall because of me and Kevin."
"Kinda. I mean I was pissed at him then AJ was being such a dick, I just lost it. I needed to punch something. At the time the wall seemed like a good thing."
"Nick Carter promise me right now that you will not let what is going on with me and Kevin affect things between you and Kevin."
"You can't ask that!"
"Yes I can. Kevin and I will work through whatever needs to be worked through, but that changes nothing for you guys. Nicky I'm all grown up. I can handle things with Kevin and with Kristin."
"I'm loosing AJ. I don't want to loose you too."
"You're not loosing me, promise."
Nick yawned and Jordan started to move off his bed. "Don't go."
Jordan looked at him and saw a lost boy. He wanted someone to hold him. Someone who wanted nothing from him.
"Get up so we can get under the covers."
They turned down the bed. Jordan was already in sweats and a T-shirt. Nick changed into shorts. After they were snuggly tucked in, Nick nestled in as close to her as possible. She lulled him to sleep by playing with his hair. Kissing the top of his head she lay awake thinking about the twists and turns of life since Backstreet came along. There was no getting off this ride until it was done.
Nick felt someone shaking him and he stirred, "Whaa??"
"Nick someone's knocking."
"So answer it," he replied as he pulled her closer.
"I can't with you laying on me dork," she giggled.
Stumbling out of the bed, Nick opened the door to find Billy. Billy had come to fetch him for a meeting. Seemed AJ was back and he'd made a decision. Jordan had gotten up and picked up his key as she stepped out into the hall with the two men. Nick gave her a quick hug then walked with Billy to the elevators.
"So are you fucking your way through the Backstreet Boys? What's next? Move on to *NSYNC?"
"Morning Kristin."
"You don’t even deny it. I can't wait to impart this bit of news to Kevin and maybe a few others."
Before Kristin knew what happened, Jordan had her hand and was dragging her to the elevators. Kristin started to protest while waiting for the elevator, but Jordan's fingers tightening on her wrist and the finger held to Jordan's lips silenced her.
Once in Jordan's room, she let go of the other woman, but made sure she stayed pressed against the door when it closed.
"I will give Kevin this much, he taught you to be a good submissive."
"What," gasp Kristin as color drained from her face.
"Don't deny that Kevin has a dark side. I know his tail comes out from time to time. Really it's ok with me."
"Why did you bring me here," demanded Kristin.
"I wanted to have a private conversation with you."
"About what?"
"Your misconceptions about me."
"I don't think I have any misconceptions about you."
"Yes you do. One, do not try to cause trouble between me and any of the Boys. I am a friend to all of them including your husband."
"You leave my husband alone."
"I'm not with your husband. Ask him if he has me…if he has my soul. He will tell you no and it's the truth."
"It better be, because if it's not you will answer to me and don’t underestimate me. After all I am a Backstreet wife will all the privileges that entails."
"Oh I'm well aware of your status Mrs. Richardson, but don’t underestimate me."
"Underestimate you how?"
"For starters my ability to be a complete bitch. Followed by you don’t know who I know and what I can do to you and your career. See when you bring out the bitch in me I don’t care the cost to me as long as I destroy you. I've done it before."
Jordan waited for Kristin to speak. She didn't.
"Finally understand this…I know you have witnessed Kevin's dark side and even played with it from time to time, but Kevin was always in control."
"So?"
"You may be the man's wife, but I'm the woman who can step inside and be completely surrounded by darkness and take control. So Mrs. Richardson," she said as she cocked to her head to the side and flashed an almost evil smile. "You want to step on to my gameboard be my guest."
"You're crazy," whispered Kristin.
"Not crazy. Just not afraid. Oh and if you don't want to play on my gameboard, I can introduce you to a friend. Compared to him anything you've done with Kevin will seem like child's play. So Kristin cross me," she finished with a whisper before pushing Kristin out into the hall.
As the women stood on either side of the door they had no idea the other was shaking. For once Kristin had met a woman not afraid of her or her ties to Kevin. For Jordan it was a matter of letting out something she had buried deep inside. From this confrontation an understanding was forged, these two women would never mess with the other and they could live with that conclusion.
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