Tour of Destruction - Part I - Chaos Hits Surfers

The Gold Coast Tour 99 was the brainchild of the Prince, who, in late 1998, decided to organise a TTTrip to Surfers Paradise for February 1999. Taking part in this now legendary tour were The Prince, The MP, The Warrior, The DJ and HHH. Also in attendance for much of the festivities was NNN, who although he was staying with the Nasty Normo family at Burleigh Heads, still found time to hit the piss with the TTT.

The tour began on a Thursday, with TTT members flying to Coolangatta and then heading for the Ramada Hotel, Surfers Paradise. Once we got settled in our rooms there was only one thing to do, start drinking. The beers flowed fast and furious that first day, and the entire tour group was already wiped out by sunset, as the pictures below reveal.

The lads try out their soccer jerseys

The Warrior does The Prince a favour by bringing him his beers when he can no longer stand up.

But the TTT never quits and we decided to hit the town in a big way. Now, if you've ever been privileged enough to visit Surfers Paradise, you'll know that the town has its fair share of sleazy bars and nightclubs. Well, I reckon we managed to cover about half of them in one night alone - and that's no small effort, especially when you've drunk enough to supply a Souths end of season party. Chaos is not too stronger word to describe the situation that night.

Some of the establishments we frequented were:

Shooter's Bar: a very seedy "wild west" style bar, complete with semi-naked barmaids. Apparentely a favourite of the Broncos.

Some Irish pub I can't remember the name of: Not all that bad, apart from the dickheads behind the bar, but it was Queensland after all.

Bensons: A bit of a dive, there was a bit of a difference of opinion about the band, with The DJ wanting to manage them and The Warrior wanting to strangle them.

Most famous of all was, of course....

"Get your fivers in the air because the G's coming off"

This establishment was discovered by HHH and was visited by him on three separate occasions. At this point it is vital to point out that The MP and The Warrior did not at any time frequent 'Crazy Horse'. Over a few days HHH became very familiar with the Horse, getting to know the ladies and their routines. NNN also became familiar with the Horse, telling us in detail about the "siderooms", where much "bodysliding" took place.

It was quite a night, and the sun was almost up once more when the last of the group finally called it a day.

Click here to continue the crazy journey.