I had labeled nursing homes as "places to die." I dreaded entering these homes to visit relatives. It was a fearful dread that I carried with me throughout most of my life, until recently.
My great-aunt had been placed in one such establishment almost a year ago. I had yet to visit her. Not wishing to go alone, I took the opportunity to go along with my mother and a cousin. The halls still frightened me as we made the journey to her room. I wasn't expecting her to be sitting in a gathering area with others, drinking coffee and visiting but, there she was! She had aged a bit since I had last seen her. She had always been a tiny person but she seemed smaller and more frail than ever and I worried that maybe she should be in her room. How wrong I was!
"Well, hello there! she exclaimed, reaching out for her hugs and kisses. I stepped back not wanting to be the first to exchange affection. To my surprise, her hug was as strong as ever and her eyes were full of recognition and joy from our unexpected visit. My great-aunt was still very much alive!
How spiritied she was. Her sense of humor was still prevalent and she kept us laughing. She talked of cherished memories and focused on the joy they brought her.
Another woman was sitting by her side, smiling and offering pleasant conversation. She was quite the philosopher and proved to hold great wisdom about people and life. It was apparent that this lady and my great-aunt keep each other laughing and looking at the positive in life. I felt honored to be in their presence for these two ladies had lived a full life and, quite obviously, were not yet through living it.
Sadly, there are those who aren't as fortunate as my great-aunt. Some can no longer do for themselves or their memories have faded. They may scarcely receive a visitor and feel their life is over, therefore, giving up.
These people are our former doctors, educators, business people and skilled laborers. They are mothers and fathers who struggled to make a living for their families. They were once active members of our communities and paved the road for all of us. They are worthy of our time, attention and respect. Perhaps, a simple visit could brighten their day and possibly trigger prized memories accompanied by gleeful smiles. Most importantly, it surely will allow them to know that, in your hearts, they are appreciated and not forgotten.
Looking in on our elders could prove to be a rewarding experience, not just for the resident, but for the visitor as well. It could be an educational experience as we may learn of family and local history that may not be recorded elsewhere. Most elderly people I have known love telling of their life's experiences and accomplishments to a willing ear. Take advantage of their knowledge. Drink in their wisdom. Make your day!
On the day I visited my great-aunt, I learned a valuable lesson in humanity and am no longer afraid.
02-10-02