In the summer 1986 I began exchanging dreams by mail with Sue. For four or five months, she regularly sent me her dreams and I regularly sent her mine. Even though I never met Sue in person, I had six dreams in which she appeared.
Sue and I were both in our early 30s. She lived with her husband and son in California, while I haled from the Appalachian hills of southeastern Ohio. For most of the last three years I had been practicing law in the Dallas, Texas area.
At the time I had met Sue, however, I had taken off from the practice of law and was concentrating more on recording my dreams, little understanding where the recording would finally lead. In Sue's case, it led to the story contained in these six dreams.
Dream of: 30 July 1986 "The Beast Inside"
My brother Chris (who died in 1974, crippled with muscular dystrophy) and I had gone to the Gay Street House (the large Victorian house in Portsmouth, Ohio where my father lived) to search for my father. When we didn't find my father at the House, Chris and I walked a couple blocks to Tracy Park and lay down next to each other. After we had pulled some blankets over us, Chris asked me if I had forgotten to tell him something which my grandmother Mabel had told me. I said, "Oh, yea. She wanted to wish you a happy birthday."
Having recently had a birthday, Chris had apparently been keeping track of all the people who had wished him Happy Birthday. He seemed a bit hurt because I had forgotten to do so.
I felt close to Chris and I wanted to hold him in my arms and kiss him, but since quite a few people were around, I was unsure kissing him in the park would be appropriate.
I told him I needed to go somewhere and I asked him if he wanted to remain there in the park. He said he did. Apparently he didn't get out much and he liked just lying in the cool park. I turned him on to his side (he couldn't turn himself over due to the muscular dystrophy) and I left him lying there.
I walked back to the Gay Street House and standing outside I found a black woman whom I had earlier left at the House and who needed to talk with my father about something. She lived in a house (I had been there before) a couple houses distant from the Gay Street House.
She began telling me about a house she owned on Ninth Street in Portsmouth which she rented out. I asked her how much the rent was and she replied that it was $75 every six weeks.
That appeared to be very cheap to me. I told her that I was presently studying and that I might be interested in renting the house. When she wanted to know what I would do in the house after I graduated, I told her that I needed a studio in which to do some work and that I didn't want to live there. The thought of actually living in the house did, however, cross my mind. Mainly, however (rather than for living quarters), I thought the house would be an accommodating place to create art-collages because I would have the ample space which I needed.
When the black woman finally asked me if I would fetch her at her home two houses away when my father returned, I told her I would. She then walked away and I walked into the Gay Street House.
There, in one of the middle rooms, I found my sister – as well as a number of letters and cassette tapes which had arrived for me. Although the tapes were from other people to me, they had my voice on them.
After I had begun sorting through the letters (there must have been 20), I suddenly realized the letters were all copies. Apparently my father had opened the letters and made the copies, and I didn't know what he had done with the originals. I complained to my sister about what had happened. Apparently she had told my father not to interfere with my mail, but he had done so anyway.
The letters were responses from people (whose addresses I had found in a publication called the Dream Network Bulletin) to whom I had written concerning dreams. I had originally sent the same letter to everyone and had explained that I was involved with several different types of experiments involving dreams. I had mentioned in the letter that I had already been working on my dreams with Suefor quite a while. I said I realized that I hadn't been working with Sue as closely as I needed and that I thought I should quickly contact her and explain that I was bringing a number of other people into the dream circle. I hoped Sue would be interested in becoming involved with a group of people working on dreams.
I began telling my sister about the dream experiments, and as I talked, she and I walked down into the basement. For one experiment I had stopped eating sugar, and as a result, I was experiencing an effect upon my mind. I basically said, "What prompted me to do that is that I read something about LSD laced with sugar, how that the sugar affected the LSD, so that a person wasn't able to experience the complete effects of the LSD because of the sugar."
Another fellow (about 30 years old) showed up. He reminded me of a law school friend, Brian, and of my best friend from my college years, Weinstein. Several other people were also in the basement, among whom I thought I saw my friend Kim.
The fellow had invested in some equipment and a laboratory had been set up in the basement to conduct some experiments. When I saw the equipment, I thought I would like to work with some of it. The fellow had some large sacks of a rather expensive substance with which he could make molds. I asked him about using it. I knew I would have to spend money if I did use it. He showed me how to make a substance which looked like Styrofoam. He made several squares of the Styrofoam-like substance. The sides of the squares measured about 30 centimeters.
We intended to next make a flexible green magnetic piece to put atop the Styrofoam squares. The fellow had a large sack of pinkish powder which he poured into another container in order to make the green magnetic piece. I wasn't exactly sure what we were going to do with the finished product.
Somehow, my sister managed to get some of the substance (for the green magnetic piece) inside her. She immediately turned into a monster which resembled a werewolf. When she started to attack me, I called her "Susan Moore" (a name of no special significance to me) and I began talking soothingly to her and controlling her hypnotically with my eyes. I thus appeared to be able to control the beast inside her.
What appeared to be a small lake lay in the middle of the room. I knew that in order to cure my sister we would need to put her into a small boat we had there and push her out into the middle of the lake. I kept talking with her until I had her in the boat, then we pushed her into the lake.
We then would be able to begin working on a project to turn her back to her normal self.
I was not quite certain exactly what a normal self was.Sue and I read each other's dreams and we learned much about each other. Our goal was unspecified, but we both seemed intent on learning who we really were. I thought I might better understand myself if I could see myself in Sue's dreams, and at the same time, I thought Sue would be able to see herself in the dreams which I had of her.
I thought this plan would work well, and to a large extent it did. However, when one person dreams of another person, the resulting dream character is a product of both the dreamer and the dreamed one. Thus the character in the dream becomes an amalgam of who the person actually is and of the dreamer's perceptions of the person.Dream of: 18 August 1986 "Seth"
I had gone to my one-room Cabin (built on a high hill in southeastern Ohio). I seemed a bit distraught and apparently hoped the solitude of the forest would help me regain some direction after recent travels.
While in the Cabin, I began listening to a cassette tape which I had received from Sue . As I listened to the tape, it almost seemed as if I were actually talking with Sue on the phone instead of listening to a tape. She had apparently made the tape during the morning because she said she wanted to finish the tape before she received her "noon call." I surmised that someone was supposed to call her at noon.
As she talked, I could hear voices in the background. At first I thought Sue must have visitors but then realized the voice was her son's. Sue began telling me a little story about her son (about 5 years old). The boy was apparently quite difficult to control and often demanded to have his way. One day Sue, her husband and the boy had been eating at a table. The boy had had a chicken leg and had thrown it on the ground after having taken only a bite of it.
Sue said that she and her husband had reacted in a prearranged manner. Apparently they had been reading a book which described what to do in a circumstance like that. They immediately began telling the boy of the suffering through which animals go so humans will be able to eat meat. Their intent was to implant in the boy the idea of not eating meat.
Sue went on to say that sensitive writers living in cabins in the forest weren't the only people who thought about such things and that people living in the midst of society were also concerned. I knew basically to what she was referring. I remembered in correspondence to her I had once rather assertively brought up the topic of vegetarianism, even though I hadn't thought Sue was a vegetarian. I had later wondered if she might have been affronted with my militant attitude concerning vegetarianism. I now thought that although she still wasn't a vegetarian, she was giving the concept of vegetarianism serious thought.
She continued talking and when she said something funny, laughter echoed in the background. I thought she must have a laugh-tape which she could play when she wanted to have laughter accompany her. It almost seemed as if her tape had a certain premeditated design. I could imagine her sitting in a small studio with television and radio controls as she made the tape.
When the laughter occurred again at an inappropriate place, however, I realized the laughter was emanating from a television playing in the background. It sounded as if the show "I Love Lucy" might be playing and I thought her son was probably watching the show. When Sue apparently realized the background noise was coming through the tape, she said that she had learned to block it out and that she had thought I probably had also learned to block it out. I, however, really wasn't certain I had ever managed to shut out background noise like that.
While Sue was talking to me, a woman came to visit her. Sue was sitting in what appeared to be a laundry room, and when the woman walked in, I immediately had a clear image of her (about 30 years old) sitting down in a chair and pulling her legs up in front of her on the chair. She was slender and dressed all in white – a white shirt and white pants. After the woman began talking, I had the feeling she wasn't saying much of any consequence. She was probably just a neighbor or a local friend.
Sue went on to other topics and the woman disappeared from my mind. As I continued to listen, I still had the feeling the tape was somehow arranged in a definite order. I didn't think that Sue had gone to great efforts in arranging the tape, but just that she had a natural talent for such arrangement. It somehow reminded me of the arrangement of a symphony.
I had noticed several times during the course of the tape that Sue had addressed me by the name "Helen." In fact she had never called me by my actual name, but had always called me "Helen." I thought that must mean something, but what? Perhaps Sue knew someone named Helen and Sue was confusing me with that person. The only person I knew whose name was Helen was Helen Buckner (the mother of my high school friend, Steve Buckner), who I thought was a bit loony. I didn't think the name "Helen" as Sue was using it had anything to do with Helen Buckner.
Then it occurred to me that Sue wasn't in her normal state of consciousness when she was communicating with me. She was calling me a name that had significance to her in that state of consciousness and would also have significance to me if I were in an altered state of consciousness. Indeed I felt as if my state of consciousness were beginning to shift into an altered state and I was somewhat apprehensive.
I remembered Sue had read some books by the writer Jane Roberts which dealt with an entity named "Seth" which communicated to Jane when she was in a trance. It also occurred to me that Seth had given Jane a different name when he communicated with her. Was that the type of thing which was happening here? Was Sue in a trance-like state and giving me a name that actually did belong to me?
The name "Helen" was obviously feminine. Seth had also talked much about reincarnation. Was Helen a name I had had as a woman in a previous life? As the thoughts swirled in my mind I slowly realized I was going deeper and deeper into another state of consciousness. It was a pleasant feeling, but I was still apprehensive. I was also concerned whether Sue, who was to some extent leading me into this state, knew what she was doing. Recalling that I had previously thought Sue and I could explore some mysteries and subtleties of reincarnation together, my curiosity far exceeded my apprehension.
Sue said her daughter (7-8 years old) wanted to speak with me. The girl's voice came on the tape and she mumbled some kind of thanks for a package of candy which I had sent her. It somewhat puzzled me that I was speaking to Sue's daughter because I didn't exactly remember her having a daughter. However I did recall having sent a small box of chocolates to someone in Sue's family. Sue came back on the tape and said, "They couldn't have been happier with the box of candy you sent them, Helen."
Still in an different state of consciousness, I heard music come on the tape. I thought the music was another example of Sue's arrangement of the tape. I had on earphones with which I was listening to the music. The right ear phone was broken and was bothering me somewhat. The music seemed like a symphony. I didn't pay much attention at first, but as the music gradually became more intense, I realized how beautiful it was. It almost seemed to take hold of me and I became caught in it, almost as if I were floating on a stream of music. I didn't remember having ever had such an experience. What an exhilarating way for Sue to be communicating with me!
Exchanging dreams with Sue definitely raised my level of consciousness. Metaphorically, I did seem to have a beast inside me. If not a werewolf, at least a wolf. I had difficulty enjoying people's company. I thought of myself as a likeable person, but in reality I sometimes was not friendly. I saw crassness in the world and I didn't know how to deal with it.
I had been born in rural Appalachia, in the town of Gallipolis, Ohio and I seemed to have remained close to my roots. I have often been reclusive, often shutting myself off from the world. By reaching out to Sue, however, I was attempting to change my werewolf nature into something presentable.
Dream of: 25 December 1986 "Gloomy In Gallipolis"
I had received a letter fromSue , who also seemed somewhat like Judith (a Dallas acquaintance several years older than I). I opened the letter and began skimming over the type-written first page, the lines of which were spaced so two lines were close together, then a blank line, then two lines close together again on down the page. I realized the first page consisted of a dream which Sue had written for me. I didn't read it closely, but simply raced over it to glean the general idea.
In the dream Sue seemed to be describing to a child some pleasant event with which she had been involved. Finally on the last few lines of the dream Sue wrote that she had to hurry up and do something before she heard from "Gloomy in Gallipolis."
Although my name wasn't mentioned, clearly the reference was to me and I had the impression Sue might have become displeased with me. Immediately after the dream, Sue began her letter to me with, "Dear Steve,." With an idea of what she was going to say, I flipped to the end of the letter and saw that Sue clearly wanted to stop our correspondence. She wrote "Farewell until ...." It seemed she wanted to leave open the possibility of correspondence again at some future date.
The letter reminded me of one I had received once from someone else. I was sad that Sue wanted to stop corresponding.
Immediately after the letter was another dream. Sue seemed to have added the dream as an afterthought and it appeared as if she were saying the dream was the kind of dream which she was interested in having. I glanced at the dream and noticed the names of a number of French artists, including the name "Montaigne."
Following that dream was still another short dream which apparently had been written about a year earlier and which was another example of the kind of dream Sue relished. At the top of the dream was a notation which looked like "140 Fugue A." The notation was apparently some kind of musical reference and corresponded to the tempo of the dream, which appeared to be very fast.
The frequent reference to music in the dreams in which Sue appears is surprising, since none of our relationship involved music. The music, therefore, seems a metaphor. The way the sounds of two musical instruments combine into one sound resembles the way my reading of Sue's dreams combined with my own thoughts to produce my dreams of her. These dreams, as music might, have worked to appease the so-called beast within me.
Dream of: 19 January 1987 "Fortune Cookies"
I found myself drifting on the ocean on what appeared to be a small raft, really not much more than a board. Much of the time I would just hang in the water, holding on. A couple familiar people, one of whom was Randy Ramey (a debauched friend from my late teens) were on similar rafts nearby. Suddenly concerned, I hollered and asked Ramey if he thought any sharks were in the water. He replied that sharks were definitely around there, but he neither thought that there were many nor that they were very dangerous. I clambered as well as I could onto the board and just hoped we would soon be out of there.
I soon received my wish because I spotted land, although not as I had expected. Suddenly, as I looked to my side, one house after another raced by as I rode my raft over high billowing waves. We now seemed to be floating down a rapid river and I didn't know how to stop. I hollered to the others who hadn't yet noticed the situation and they likewise became alarmed.
When we somehow finally managed to land on shore, I looked at what I had been riding: lying on the shore, the raft now resembled a simple pile of hay. I talked with Ramey and the other person and I became concerned because other rafts had been carrying all our possessions, including all my clothes. The other rafts were nowhere to be found and apparently had been lost at sea.
Ramey and the other person said they were going to search for the lost possessions and they immediately departed. I was uncertain what to do. A cottage sat on a hill close to where we had landed, but I didn't want to go there. It suddenly occurred to me I was completely nude except for a tee shirt. When I saw a dark tee shirt lying on the shore, I thought I could perhaps cover myself with it.
Confused about what I should do next, I soon found myself sitting on a couch talking on the phone. I had meant to call someone in Europe about my going traveling to Europe. I had reached a number in England and I was talking with a woman who, although I didn't realize it at the time, seemed remotely like Sue, and who was apparently a secretary for some kind of organization in England. I explained to her that I planned to travel to Europe and work for an international-type of organization. She seemed dubious about the nature of the group and she began talking about a group with a bad reputation. The group to which she was referring was based in Great Britain. I told her the group wasn't the one to which I was referring. I did have some reservations, however, about the group about which I was talking, which was run by a black man (whom I didn't know) who seemed somewhat like Love Johnson (a Dallas business acquaintance).
I began telling the woman on the phone about the incident on the raft and how I had lost all my possessions among which had been a satchel of books. I told her that I had specially acquired the books and that I liked to have them with me. When she asked me what the books were, I described one as a French book in which I had been interested and I told her another was a German book entitled Traumdeutung by Sigmund Freud. A third book was Seth Speaks. I told her I always liked to have my Seth book with me.
At my side I carried one satchel which I had been able to save and which contained about a half-dozen black notebooks which contained my typed-up dreams. I had become accustomed to carrying my dreams (my most valued possession) with me. It was a good thing I had or they too would have been lost.
I continued talking on the phone with the woman, until I finally decided that the call was probably costing a lot of money and that I should hang up. Just as I said good-bye, I realized the woman was no longer on the phone. I didn't know whether she had become tired of listening to me and had hung up or whether we had been cut off. I put the phone back on the receiver.
Immediately I realized that I was at my mother's home and that I had been talking long distance to England for probably 20 minutes! That was probably going to cost about $40. Why hadn't I used a credit card? I had a calling card, but if I had used it, it would have been charged to my step-grandfather Clarence and my grandmother Mabel – so that was no good. I would just have to send the money to my mother when the bill came.
When I stood up and walked into the toilet to brush my teeth, I saw my mother with an electric sweeper in an adjoining bedroom, headed for the toilet. There just seemed to be no place to go to get away from her constant cleaning. Disgruntled by her presence I left the house.
I knew exactly where I wanted to go and I soon found myself seated at a table in what appeared to be a kitchen of a house. Sitting across from me was a woman (probably in her 40s). She was a fortune teller and I had come to have my fortune told. She had already told my fortune once and now I wanted her to tell it again.
To tell fortunes she used chocolate chip cookies. She dealt out 30 cookies in front of me, lining them up in rows almost as if they were cards. I immediately noticed (and thought it significant) that the first and last cookies had been the same first and last cookies with which she had started, even though she had shuffled the cookies before beginning. She rearranged the cookies after she had laid them out, but the first and last ones still remained the same, which pleased me.
When I picked up one cookie, she told me that it looked as if music was important and that I had picked up the cookie of the musician Franz Schubert. I thought I might ought to find out more about Schubert. I was unsure, but it seemed to me he had died when he had been 40 years old. I was already 34.
We proceeded. I was supposed to look at the back of the cookie and tell the woman what I saw. She asked me why I was holding the cookie so she couldn't see it. I told her I wasn't, it just looked that way because the cookie was crumbling. I showed it to her and she saw what I meant. When I then gobbled down the cookie and picked up another, she mentioned that I could take my time. She said if other people came to have their fortunes told, they would just have to wait. Nevertheless, I had the feeling I would need to go faster if others came.
When I picked up another cookie and looked at it, I began thinking I was going to go to Europe soon and I was concerned about what I was going to do there. Wondering how I was going to be spending my time in Europe, I said, "I see that I must look for work and not spend my days reading and writing."
When I noticed Frieda (a Dallas attorney) sitting in a chair in the kitchen, I didn't particularly want her hearing what I had to say, even though I wasn't particularly concerned with her presence.
I ate the cookie and picked up another. Some concentration was required before anything came to mind, but then I noticed a round ugly face seemed to be on the cookie with one tooth sticking up from the bottom lip. It reminded me of people I would probably encounter when looking for work. I said, "I see many crass people in this world who I must learn to deal with better."
When I spoke I became rather choked up. I realized that I definitely had difficulty sometimes dealing with people, especially those I didn't know, and that I needed to become less isolated and work on improving my communication skills.
I laid the cookie to the side and asked the woman if I could simply take some cookies with me when I left to eat later. She said that would be fine. I thought I might take some to my mother. I knew that my mother would know where the cookies came from and that she would be pleased since she believed in fortune tellers.
From where I was sitting I could see into the front room. A short thin man (about 50 years old) entered. He apparently was another client for the fortune teller. I hurried and picked up another cookie.
The cookie seemed more crumbly on the back than the others. One crumb (which was about to fall off) reminded me of a door. Other crumbs below it looked like steps and I imagined them leading down into a red fiery hell. I said, "I see the door to hell opening. I have sometimes ventured down there just to see what it is like and at times have lost my way there."
I must have also lost my way with Sue, for our dream exchange came to an end. I had definitely become less isolated and had improved my communication skills since I had been exchanging dreams with Sue, but I was still primarily absorbed in myself.Dream of: 16 July 1987 "Facing Issues"
I had unexpectedly called up Sue and was talking with her on the phone. She didn't seem all that surprised to hear from me and we began a rather relaxed conversation. It was surprising how familiar her voice sounded. Although I had rarely spoken with her, it seemed as if her voice was one I had often heard, albeit not recently.
I did remember having talked with her by phone perhaps a month before, but her voice seemed a bit different now. Perhaps it was the ease with which she seemed to be approaching me that seemed a little different. I had the feeling we both felt familiar with each, much more than I had expected when I had called her.
Although the familiarity between us was pronounced, I felt as if Sue were seeking to maintain a certain distance from me. A slight, yet evident, chill pervaded her tone.
Our conversation quickly turned quite naturally to the dreams we had been exchanging so long with each other and it occurred to me that our dream exchange was the basis of our familiarity with each other. I really hadn't realized it before, but we had come to know each other quite well through reading each others dreams, and I felt a certain bonding had occurred between us as a result of our dream exchange. Actually the revelation was a little surprising, because I didn't think we had been communicating well lately, and to a large extent, I had put Sue from my mind. In fact, I had some concerns as to whether she even wanted to continue our exchange.
Now that I was talking with her, I felt some basis for those concerns. I also felt we were actually closer than either of us may have realized. Something in Sue's manner of speaking gave me the impression that even though she was experiencing doubts about our dream exchange, she still had a longing that something more solid could develop between us.
I thought part of the problem might be that we had rarely talked to each other about what we actually thought about the other as a result of having read each other's dreams. I broached that subject and Sue immediately said I hadn't been forthcoming in telling her much of my impressions of her from reading her dreams. I admitted that was true and I thought I would like to change that. I would like to tell her what I thought.
Although we had been very frank and open about exchanging our dreams with each other, we hadn't been open about exchanging our opinions about each other. Part of the reason I hadn't told Sue much about my opinion of her was because I was worried that I would tend to be critical of her and that I might offend her. I was beginning to see just a little that not expressing my opinion of her hadn't been the best way to go. I realized I really didn't have to be all that worried about criticizing Sue, because actually I liked the person she fundamentally was. So any criticisms I might have wouldn't go to the nature of her being, but would just touch upon some of her attributes. Of course (I rather ironically thought) one of her attributes I might criticize was her unwillingness to hear criticism.
Another problem which had been a result of our not being open and frank in our exchange of opinions, was that I was unsure what Sue really thought about me, and I was concerned she had concluded something was wrong with me. I thought that was part of the reason for the chilly attitude which she seemed to be projecting. I felt as if she had been having doubts about whether I was a person she could trust and whether I was a person she really wanted to feel bonded to. I still didn't know exactly what she had seen in my dreams which made her think that.
So I probed a little further and I sketchily revealed my feelings about our not having freely exchanged opinions of each other. I could tell the subject had been on her mind, too, even though she didn't seem quite ready to discuss it. She seemed reluctant to actually tell me what she thought about me and she seemed to want to know if I really wanted her to do that. I rather emphatically said, "I would like to know."
I had spoken rather loudly, and it suddenly occurred to me that some other people in the room could hear me. In fact I was in a fast-food restaurant, and although I didn't see any other customers, four or five young women (dressed in maroon outfits) behind the counter had obviously heard what I had said. I felt a little embarrassed because I thought the young women probably thought that I was talking with my girlfriend and that I had just told her I would like to know whether she liked me. I would have liked to have told them that wasn't the case at all. I said to Sue, "There's a whole room full of people standing here looking at me."
Sue finally seemed as if she were beginning to want to talk a little more about the subject. She said, "Don't you think you talk an awful lot about yourself?"
Apparently she was referring to my dreams and my emphasis on myself in my dreams. I didn't think that was unusual and I answered, "No more than anybody else."
I also wanted to tell her I regarded myself as an ordinary person doing a rather unordinary thing by writing my dreams.
As we continued talking I noticed music playing in the background. At first I thought it was playing over an intercom system in the restaurant, but I gradually realized the music was coming through the phone on Sue's end. It sounded as if she must have her stereo on. Gradually the music became louder and louder and it sounded as if someone were actually playing it in her house. Mainly it was just one instrument playing, probably a saxophone. I finally concluded either Sue's husband or son was playing it.
The music had become so loud, it was difficult for us to carry on the conversation. I finally realized whoever was playing the music might be trying to let Sue know she should get off the phone. I hadn't bothered to ask Sue when I had called if she were busy, so I finally asked her if I were interrupting anything. She said I wasn't, and she tried to get the music to stop, but it continued. Finally she said it might be better if she called me back in a few minutes. I didn't want her to feel compelled to make a long distance call to me and I thought I could call her back. Finally she said, "Check back at 5:59 and I think you'll find me here."
With that, we hung up. I had thought I would be calling her back in about 10 minutes, but when I looked at the clock I saw it was only about 5:10.
I was uncertain what I should do in the meantime. On the floor sat a tray from which I had apparently eaten some food. I saw a Canadian nickel on the tray and picked up the nickel, not wanting to leave it behind. I gathered up some other things of mine. Still hungry, I thought I might order something else to eat, but nothing on the menu on the wall looked that good. I saw some kind of vegetarian submarine sandwich with black olives which cost $3.01, but I decided not to order anything. I decided I would probably just take the elevator up to the upper story where I was living and fix myself something to eat.
Feeling pretty good about having talked with Sue, I wanted to get back on the phone with her. It looked as if we both had a stake in this matter and as if we might be able to progress if we would face issues rather than neglecting them.
Our dream exchange had ended. Questions about reincarnation and communicating with other entities would remain unanswered. At least I had had the unusual experience of dreaming about someone whom I had never actually met in person. That had been exhilarating.Dream of: 10 October 1987 "Woody Allen Movie"
I was passing through Columbus, Ohio and since I thought I might be there for a few hours, I considered going to a movie. I began looking through the movie section of a newspaper and saw a movie with Woody Allen advertised for only 35 cents. It appeared to be on the same theme as The Godfather, except Allen was going to play the part of the godfather. The ad said the movie was extremely good and I thought I would like to see it. It started about 9:30 p.m. Since it was still afternoon, I thought I might go to a couple other movies first.
As I continued looking through the movie section, Steve Weinstein (my best friend in my teen years) crossed my mind and I thought about how he often went to movies. I basically thought, "I've gone to a lot of movies in my life and they've kind of formed like a reservoir of ideas in my mind. But it seems like I have not worked with that reservoir quite as well as Weinstein might be working with his reservoir of movie themes that are in his mind."
I could see that the movies in my mind held much creative potential, but I hadn't yet seemed to grasp onto them.
I had rented a small yellow car which I thought I would be able to drive around to the different movie theaters. I looked at the address of one movie theater which was on State Street. It suddenly occurred to me that Sue lived in Columbus on State Street. I thought perhaps I would go see Sue, but I hesitated because I hadn't called her first and I thought simply showing up would probably be embarrassing. I continued thinking about it.
Now on a bicycle, I finally pulled up in front of a large old brick house where Sue lived. She was standing on the front porch, but she didn't look like herself. She was a short woman with kinky brown hair. When I noticed she had stacked something on the front porch, I thought she might have been doing some wash. She appeared to be wearing a gray tee shirt and a pair of pants.
When I nonchalantly said something to her, she seemed surprised to see me. We talked and I told her I realized I hadn't written to her in a long time. I went on to explain that didn't mean I hadn't been thinking about her. I explained that I simply went through stages when I might not write for a while, but then I might write a great deal all at once.
I had never actually seen Sue in person and I was actually a bit embarrassed being there with her. At the same time, I felt an extremely strong, almost magnetic force drawing me toward her, even while feeling as if I wanted to get away from her. I was unsure she even wanted me around or whether I should be around her.
All the while I was standing up on the bicycle with it between my legs. Finally Sue walked over close to me and began talking. She said several things, mentioned her mother, talked about kissing and said something about a book. Finally she said, "The underlying theme of the book is whether you will kiss or won't kiss me."
She was standing directly to my left. I began thinking I would very much like to kiss her, but it was difficult for me to believe she would want to do the same thing. I reached out, put my arms around her and barely touched her lips with mine. Her obvious willingness to kiss me made me feel good. It also seemed obvious that she had thought about it a lot, and that kissing me was indeed what she wanted to do.
I pulled her closer to me and engaged her in a strong kiss. Her being married didn't seem to matter at the moment, partly because the kiss didn't seem to be of a sexual nature. The kiss just seemed to somehow be a pleasantly fulfilling kiss. Our lips were both open and felt quite loose, not stiff as might be expected for two people kissing for the first time. What bothered me was that the kiss was so pleasant, it just seemed to absorb me. It was something I could only resist with extreme difficulty.
We suddenly heard someone else coming out of the house and stopped. I looked up and saw that Sue's blonde-haired sister (probably 16-17 years old) had walked out of the house. As Sue spoke to her sister, I reached out my hand to the sister and she clasped it with an almost vice-like grip, although her strong grip didn't hurt me in any way. I commented, "Boy, that's a good firm handshake."
The sister seemed pleased by what I had said and she smiled. She didn't seem annoyed that she had found me kissing Sue when she had walked out. We talked for a while and I mentioned that I had a car parked several blocks away which I had rented. Sue said something about my having gotten the car from Hertz and something about my owing Hertz some money. Although it wasn't clear to me exactly what she was saying, I knew Sue knew a lot about me, things which I wasn't even aware she knew. At any rate, I knew I still had enough money to be able to rent a car. I told them both I could come and pick them up if they wanted to go to a movie. I was still thinking about going to the Woody Allen movie.
Yet all the while, for some reason, I was still hesitant about going anywhere with them.
I can accept the underlying theme being the question of whether I would kiss Sue. I was having a good time. Sue, being married, however, might not have been quite as ready to engage in physical contact in our dreams. We did connect, however, in my dream, and at least I was thinking of taking her to a Woody Allen movie. If not dead, the beast inside had been somewhat mollified by my relationship with Sue.
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