Dream of: 21 April 2012 "Explicit"

Better to fail being yourself than to succeed being someone else.

I had just been hired a few days before to work as a lawyer in a gigantic law firm. As I was sitting at my desk, I suddenly heard someone screaming my name. I was uncertain where the voice was coming from. My office, as well as many other glass-walled offices were spread all over the floor. As I kept listening to the screaming, I realized the person was definitely angry and gradually I realized the person was talking about something which he had found that I had written and posted on the internet about him. I immediately concluded that the writing had something to do with my dreams. The person continued to holler and said something about "taking it down." Finally I realized that the person hollering was Shaw (he and I were in many of the same classes from the 7th to 12 grade).

I began thinking about what he must be screaming about. I knew that many dreams on my website were hyperlinked to pages which described various people who had appeared in my dreams. Some of those pages also listed all the dreams in which that particular person had appeared. Such a listing made it much easier for a person to read all the dreams in which he or she had appeared. Since I hadn't published many of those listings, I couldn't remember whether Shaw's particular page listed all the dreams in which he had appeared.

As the screaming continued, I knew I was definitely now going to have a problem working in the law firm. I got on my computer and immediately deleted my whole dream web site. I had deleted the web site in the past, and I knew I could put it right back up whenever I wanted. I thought at least I would have appeased Shaw for the moment until I had a chance to talk with him.

I stood up, walked out of my office and into Shaw's office. When I stepped into the office, instead of Shaw, I found Moon (a classmate from law school whom I also later knew as a lawyer). Moon had been the one screaming, not Shaw, and Moon was still growling when I started talking to him. As he continued complaining, I sat down, tried to appease him, and told him I had taken the whole web site down. I also told him that I could put it back up "just like that" and I snapped my fingers.

He seemed astonished. He couldn't understand why in the world I would publish my dreams on the internet. I tried to explain. I told him that I had written and published over 6,200 dreams. I told him I wanted to compose some of them into some kind of book, but I wasn't yet sure exactly how to do that. I had however, been working on it.

Moon simply couldn't understand why I would want to publish my dreams like that in the first place. However, he listened to what I said and he seemed to calm down somewhat. I had the feeling, however, that he had already told some other people in the office about the web site. When I asked him who the people were, he did not seem to want to tell me. Apparently the names of other people who worked there also appeared on my web site.

I reflected that I wanted to continue working in the law firm, but it wasn't all that important to me. I knew that I had long ago decided that writing dreams was more important to me than practicing law. And finally I began to realize that I wouldn't be able to continue working at the firm. The members of the firm simply wouldn't tolerate some aspects of my dream website, such as sexual references. A big law firm simply wouldn't be able to handle that kind of explicitness.

Moon stood up and walked away for a moment. When he returned and sat back down, he was sitting at one end of a long table and I was sitting at the other end. I told him that I had always liked him. I still wondered what he had read on my site that was offensive. I certainly couldn't remember what I might have written. I couldn't recall any dreams which portrayed him in a bad light. I remembered that he had been quite obese in law school, but now he appeared quite slim. I told him that he now looked much better.

When he looked up at me, however, I realized that the person at the other end of the table wasn't even Moon - it was a woman dressed in the same kind of dark suit which Moon had been wearing. Obviously she was also an attorney. She looked startled by my words, as if she did not know what I was talking about. I realized I had made a mistake by talking to her.

After excusing myself and standing up, I walked over to the door and stepped out of the law office. Almost immediately another lawyer stepped up to me and began talking to me about a legal case on which he thought I was working. Around 40 years old, he was thin and wearing a light gray suit. I did not know what he was talking about and I told him that he had made a mistake and that I wasn't working on that case.

I finally realized that when I had stepped through the door, I had stepped out of the law firm and into an area which appeared to be a mall. People were walking all around us. The lawyer in front of me wasn't even from the law firm where I had been working.

After I told him he was mistaken about the case, he looked down at the floor. Somehow I had the feeling that he already knew I wasn't working on the case to which he had referred and that he had simply wanted to talk with me. I wasn't sure that he noticed that I was carrying several pictures of members of my family in my hand.

After we talked a bit more, I realized that he was a solo practitioner. I told him I had been laid off and I asked him if he was looking for an attorney. He acted as if he was.

As we talked, he walked up to a black woman (around 50 years old) and touched her elbow. Apparently the woman was one of his clients. I quickly thought that this attorney was the kind of person for whom I would like to work. He seemed like someone who would represent people in need, unlike the gigantic law firm for which I had been working.

I decided that if I were going to work for this lawyer, I would first tell him about the dreams which I had published so that no conflict would later arise. Obviously I had never dreamed about him since I did not know him at all.

I definitely felt as if he were interested in hiring me. As we were ready to separate, he quipped, "I'd be hard to lose."

Uncertain what he had meant, I responded, "Whad you say? You'd be hard ta lose?"

Then I realized that his cryptic words must have meant that he was an easy person to find if I needed him.

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