Dream of: 03 January 2012 "Symbolic Elements"

I had started reading Dostoievsky's The Brothers Karamazov again. After reading about 20 pages, it seemed that the book was going nowhere. So far I had been introduced to the main character, Aliosha, who was a young man about 20 years old. Aliosha seemed particularly virtuous, yet something imprecise seemed to cloud his virtue. He had met a girl (about the same age as he) who was pictured as wearing a long white dress which belled out at the bottom in the fashion of the 1800s. She had walked through some mud and the bottom of her dress was soiled.

These seemed to be the only facts I had retained after 20 pages. Yet as I reflected on these meager elements, I suddenly realized how symbolic they seemed and how adroitly they had been impressed in my mind. Like a bright revelation, I could see that a rich tale awaited me in the rest of the book and that these first simple elements were the foundation of what was to come.

At the same time that I was thinking about the book, I was standing outside a small building which was located on an isolated section of my father's Gallia County Farm. The little building had been abandoned for a long time and was in disrepair. I stepped over a trench in front of the building and pulled off part of the dilapidated front door. Once inside, I made my way up to the second floor which consisted of one large room which appeared to still be in livable condition. Three hard backed chairs - all of different design - were in the room. For some reason the chairs charmed me and I thought how I could obtain more hard backed chairs and set them around the perimeter of the room. I could also bring some of my possessions up there and set them on shelves in the room. I might simply move into the building and start living there. Of course I would have to repair it and make it livable.

My thoughts returned again to The Brothers Karamazov. I thought I would like to talk about the book with my paramour, Michelle. But then I remembered that Michelle and I weren't seeing each other any more. Besides, Michelle and I had never discussed literature much anyway. It was a little sad that I wouldn't be able to talk with her about the book.

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