Dream of: 13 March 2011 "Letting Go"

I was sitting on a commode in a bathroom which looked exactly like the bathroom of the master bedroom of the Summerdale Drive House. I had just finished defecating and was starting to wipe, when I noticed my mother (probably in her late 30s) standing in the door and looking at me. I definitely didn't want her watching me. I didn't like anyone seeing how I would look at the toilet paper after I wiped to see if I had wiped off everything. Nevertheless, she wouldn't leave. So I wiped. The first swipe was a big gob of dark-yellow feces. I wiped several more times until I felt clean.

As my mother continued to watch, I felt somewhat aroused and I even spread my legs wider so she could see my penis. When I finally stood up to pull up my pants, my penis was almost fully erect. Suddenly my sister (probably in her late teens) appeared in the doorway. I quickly put both hands over my penis. I didn't want my sister to see that I had become aroused by my mother looking at my penis.

As soon as I had pulled up my pants I noticed that my mother had turned on the shower and that the water had covered some books which I had stacked on the floor of the shower. I had stacked four stacks of books with about 20 books in each stack. I had culled the books out of my other books and I had intended to get rid of these books. However, I didn't want to see them destroyed and I began gathering them up out of the water. I complained to my mother and my sister about what they had done, even though I knew I was at fault for having left the books on the floor of the shower. I laid the books on the floor outside of the shower and tried to press down on them and force the water out. But I told my mother and sister that the books would be ruined because the pages now would stick together. Nevertheless, I just couldn't seem to let go of the books.

When I looked back over at the commode, my mother was cleaning out the commode with a mop. There seemed to be something distastefully incongruous about her having watched me and now her cleaning any remains of my feces out of the commode.

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