Dream of: 12 October 2009 "Seeing Myself"

In my early 20s, I had become close friends with a fellow a few years older than I. He picked me up in his car downtown and we had ridden to his home. He had short black hair and was dressed professionally in a suit. Once we were in his home, I took off all my clothes except for my shorts, and I stayed with him a while until he was ready to leave. When he went outside to get the car, I felt hurt because I had wanted to be with him longer. It somehow seemed as if he had merely been using me. As I also walked out and boarded the car, I began softly crying.

He pulled out and drove into a hilltop area, then headed back toward downtown. I still hadn't put my clothes back on and I dressed along the way. I finally blurted out, "I see a lot of myself in you, the way you treat people."

I thought my words had affected him somewhat and I felt as if he also liked me somewhat. I thought he didn't really want to hurt me, but at the same time I felt as if he weren't going to go out of his way for me. He nonchalantly glanced at me and replied, "Like, hello, goodbye," and gestured as if he would meet people and immediately turn around and leave them.

I didn't want to go back downtown. I was staying in the hilltop area we had just left. I thought I could catch a bus back to my place if he didn't plan on going back there. I asked, "Are you going back up on the hill?"

He didn't respond.

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