Dream of: 08 September 2007 "Destruction Of Beauty"

I was in the back seat of a car which Seeley (a long-time employee of my father) was driving. My father (about 60 years old, with black hair) was sitting in the front passenger seat. We were headed to the Gallia County Farm. My father and I were talking even though we weren't on friendly terms. He mentioned that he and I had been at "war" with each other, and that the war had availed me nothing.

We had just reached the 40 acre tract of land on the north side of the Farm. Seeley pulled up and stopped the car. As I stepped out of the car, I told my father his statement wasn't true because I had "retained my dignity." He looked at me as if I were being stupid.

Everything that had happened began to come back to me. I remembered the cause of our problem. I remembered he had cut down the trees on the Farm and had destroyed the Farm. I hadn't been on the Farm since he had cut the trees and when I looked up for the first time, I saw the hill in front of me was devastated. A few trees were left standing, but mostly only stumps remained. The land was not yet overgrown with brush; a few patches of green grass remained. I groaned to my father that he had destroyed the Farm. I told him there was "evil" in him. I hadn't wanted to say that at first, but the more I looked at the devastation before me, the more clearly I saw that my father was an evil man. I told him that he was an evil person and that I dreamed about his being evil.

I told him he had destroyed the one beautiful thing in his life which mattered. The money didn't matter to me. It was the destruction of the beauty which saddened me so.

I started walking up the hill. Since I had come all the way out there, I wanted to see how he had destroyed the entire Farm. The sight was sickening. Some gulleys had been filled with dead trees and limbs. I tried to pass over one gully. All the while I kept hollering back to my father that he was evil, and finally I screamed, "I hate you! I hate you!"

He remained at the bottom of the hill, looking up at me. Some other people had shown up and gathered around him. One was a black-haired woman who I thought was a doctor. She was speaking to him.

I hollered down to him that the worst thing he had done was giving everything to my step-mother and her sons. What he had done was simply unbelievable. After all the promises he had made to his own family over the years, in the end in had completely destroyed the beauty of the Farm without caring about his own family.

I saw clearly that he and I would never reconcile. The break between us would last forever. Nothing could bring back what he had destroyed.

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