Dream of: 07 August 2007 "Fat and Unhappy"

Early in the morning, I had just walked into a little one-room apartment where my father (fat, probably in his 60s) and my step-mother (about 50 years old, her usual fat self) were living scrunched in together. I had come to get some food for me and my mother, who was waiting outside.

My father and my step-mother were still in their night clothes. They didn't say anything, but they weren't unfriendly. My step-mother didn't smile at all and she seemed like a very unhappy person. My father didn't seem quite as unhappy as her. My step-mother obviously didn't want me there, but she couldn't say anything, since I almost never visited them and I had brought my mother over to get some food. My step-mother stood off to herself as I retrieved something like rice and beans from the refrigerator and put them in the microwave.

My father wasn't unfriendly -- he just ignored me.

I was determined to simply get something to eat and leave. The food took a while to heat up in the microwave. Meanwhile my father and my step-mother were talking about something they were going to do that day. When the food was ready, I thought I might eat some of it in there with my father and my step-mother instead of simply grabbing the food and running outside to my mother.

I knew my father hardly ever saw my mother anymore. He had almost completely abandoned her. I felt hard toward my father and my step-mother because they never tried to feed my mother, give her anything or do anything for her. Therefore I felt no obligation toward them. At the same time, I hated to simply grab the food and run. So I thought I might simply eat a little of the food with them, then go outside with my mother. 

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