Dream of: 16 September 2005 "Dying In War"

While I had been living with my father, we had argued, and I had decided to move out. Before I left, I wanted to clean up the house's filthy old basement with its moldy walls. While I was in the basement, my father (only about 50 years old) came down and watched me as I carried stuff out and scraped mold off an old wooden piece of furniture.

We started talking for the first time in a while about our problems. He said something about my not paying my creditors. I retorted that at least I was honest with the people with whom I associated. I said that he was plain and simply a dishonest person who couldn't be trusted by the people close to him. I continued to clean up as we argued back and forth.

Somehow we started talking about war. He had some problem with my attitude about World War II. I lashed back that he didn't even know about wars, that he didn't take the time to learn about history. I, on the other hand, had learned much about history. He then mentioned that one of my step-mother's sons (named "George") had died in World War II. I thought to myself that my step-mother had only been born in 1932. How could she have had a son old enough to die in World War II? When I thought more about it, however, I realized that my step-mother was about my age and that she had actually been born around 1952. She couldn't possibly have had a son who died in World War II. She wasn't even old enough to have had a son die in the Korean War. I thought possibly her son could have died in the Vietnam War. I told my father what I was thinking, and he went along with what I said, that her son might have died in Korea or Vietnam instead of World War II. I was left unsure of what point he had been trying to make, but at least we were now talking a little more civilly with one another.

All the while, I continued cleaning. I walked over to a sink and began cleaning out a big gob of brown dirt. The basement was starting to look much better.

Since my father and I were talking again, and since I didn't yet have any place to go, I probably wouldn't leave right now. I would probably stay here a few more days before I left.

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