Dream of: 21 July 2004 "Sitting"
In an emotional confused state, I was driving a car backwards, through a hilly country area. When I spotted a small cottage on the side of the hill, I backed into the driveway, stopped the car and stepped out. Three young boys (ranging from about 5 to 10 years old) poured out of the house, followed by their father and mother (who looked like famous actors). They all seemed happy to see me and welcomed me. I was surprised -- I had been convinced that no one cared about me; but these people wanted me to stay with them.
I walked onto the concrete porch and looked out over the countryside. It looked like Florida. Below me was a lagoon surround by flowers; beyond was the ocean. The beauty was disconcerting. I almost felt like crying, it was so beautiful. It would be so wonderful to simply stay here for a long while.
What I really wanted to do was sit and mediate. Since no one seemed to mind, I sat down on one of the concrete banisters, pulled my legs up into a lotus position and closed myself off from the world. I sunk almost into a trance separating myself from the world around me. I was at peace.
Gradually, however, I began to hear voices which seemed to be complaining about what I was doing. Finally I opened my eyes. I was no longer outside, but inside the house. Perhaps a dozen other men were in the room and some were complaining about my "sitting" and saying I couldn't do that here. I stopped, stood up and began trying to understand the problem. They continued to maintain that I couldn't "sit" here. (By "sitting," I knew they meant "meditating"). They said that they "sat" differently. I argued with them. I told them I was not hurting anyone. I just wanted to sit and I had my own method.
One of them seemed the leader. I walked over to him, He was probably 30 years old and sported a rusty beard. When I tried to explain myself to him, he said I was acting "militant" and he criticized me. I listened patiently, then I said he was right, that I was militant by nature. I told him, however, that I used sitting to try to overcome being militant. He seemed to waiver a bit, but it still looked as if he were not going to allow me to stay here and sit.
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