Dream of: 26 August 2003 "Alienated"
Hundreds of lawyers had assembled in the middle of downtown Portsmouth, in the esplanade area. I had also arrived at the assembly, uncertain of its purpose, curious. Beaty (an old law school classmate whom I hadn't seen in years) showed up by my side and we began talking. She was thin, sported cropped blonde hair, glasses, and looked in her early 30s. She told me she was handling a case for the prosecutor's office. I goadingly inquired further, barely suppressing my disdain for prosecution attorneys, and she somewhat abashedly admitted that she now worked for the prosecutor. Even though I held such low esteem for prosecuting attorneys, I wondered what working as a prosecutor would be like – I would need to learn quite a bit of new law. What was the difference between misdemeanor theft and felony theft? Maybe I could ask Beaty.
A wave of turbulence passed over the throng of lawyers – something to do with flags. At least two flags were flying in the tall buildings surrounding the esplanade – one flag on one side of the esplanade and another flag on the other. One flag apparently had been created during the American Civil War. A dispute had arisen among the lawyers as to which flag was the proper flag.
As the crowd swayed from one side to the other, Beaty and I were pushed along in the current. Someone grabbed me by the wrist, pulling me; I in turn grabbed Beaty's hand, and as soon as I could, I pulled her over to the side. The person who had grabbed my wrist let go and disappeared in the throng. I somewhat reluctantly released Beaty's soft hand – I barely knew her; yet maybe I would become better acquainted with her.
As she looked around at the faces in the crowd, she mentioned that Austin had been invited to this assembly. I knew that I had gone to high school with Austin and that he had later become a lawyer; but I wondered why he had received an invitation and I hadn't. Oh well, it didn't matter much; I was a lawyer and I had as much right as any other lawyer to be here.
Beaty walked away from me, perhaps 10 meters, as if she were looking for something. I was about to follow her when I noticed that she was doing some intricate ballet movements, as if she were practicing a dance. Not wanting to interrupt her, I stood to the side and watched. I felt isolated, alienated, not part of what was happening around me. Yet here I was, whether I belonged here or not.
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