Dream of: 12 July 2003 "The Shadow"

Leah and I were sitting on the floor in the living room of her home, playing a game of chess. Her features weren't distinct I didn't look right at her, but she seemed to be in her mid 30s.

I hadn't paid close attention to the game and she seemed to be winning. She was attacking my king with several of her pieces in the right corner of my side of the board. I wasn't even sure what some pieces were they weren't formed like normal chess pieces; some looked like little women. I also became unsure which side of the board was hers and which mine. I stood up and walked around the board and saw that she had placed a drinking cup shaped like the figure of the head of a man at the end of her side of the board. I recalled that I had a somewhat similar cup shaped like the head of Gimli (a character from the movie Lord of the Rings); if I had my cup with me, I could place it on my side.

I sat back down and concentrated on the game. Leah had made another move and I tried to figure out where she had moved. There I saw it. The piece she had moved was unfamiliar to me. It was tall, almost as tall as the king, and had a greenish-ghostly aspect to it. I concluded it was called "the shadow." I was unsure, however, how it moved. Did it move diagonally, like a bishop?

She had me boxed in. Maybe I could move my king. Could a king move like a knight?  I couldn't remember.

Leah and I talked. Finally, she looked at me and said, "I know what you want."

I hadn't made a secret of what I wanted: I wanted to make love to Leah. I knew she was unwilling and that it wouldn't happen. Nevertheless, the thought of making love with her, of feeling her body close to mine, was enrapturing. Had she not somewhat acquiesced to my desires, simply by allowing me to remain in her house, a married woman, even when she knew what I wanted? Her being close to me at least gave me some pleasure, even though I knew I would soon leave without getting what I wanted.

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