Dream of: 24 March 2003 "No Pain"

I had recently been sharing a large office room with several people; each of us maintained a desk in separate parts of the room. I wasn't thrilled with sharing the room, particularly since some of the others were rather sloppy. I contemplated confronting them about their messes, but I decided I would first clean up the area around my desk before I complained to anyone else about theirs.

Setting to the task, I quickly realized my area was just as messy as everyone else's. Books and papers seemed to be stacked everywhere. Clothes were even hanging around my desk.

As I proceeded, my father walked into the office and took a seat in my area. I was surprised to see him he hardly ever visited me. At the moment I was feeling a bit resentful of him because I had recently needed some help, and he hadn't tried to assist me. I hadn't wanted to work in this office in the first place; if he had only helped me out a little, I wouldn't have been forced to work there.

So I lit into him. I stood in front of him and began a diatribe. I wanted to make one point in particular a thought I had recently formulated. I had noticed that he seemed to be a lucky-go-lucky type of person who typically didn't seem bothered by much. I launched in at him and told him he felt no pain. I explained that he felt no pain because he didn't care about anyone. This was the revelation I had experienced: that pain was caused by concern about others. Since my father was unconcerned about anyone but himself, he felt no pain.

He sat listening unresponsive.

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