Dream of: 07 February 2003 "Ambivalent"
The place seemed like a fair, but also like a class reunion: classmates from high school seemed to be circulating in the bustling crowd. Someone pointed out Debi; she was quite attractive, even though she was probably in her 40s. She was slender and well-maintained, dressed in a long print dress.
Debi and I began talking; soon we were walking together as if we were a couple. I was happy to be with her – until she told me she had been talking with another man. I indignantly flared up, made some rash accusations about her and the other man, and stormed away from her.
I walked over to the edge of the gathering and sat down on the ground. Remorse beset me. Why had I acted that way? I had no right to dictate who Debi could talk with. I regretted my behavior and I wished I could return to Debi and apologize; but I figured she would probably not want to have anything to do with me now.
To my surprise, someone said Debi was coming back over to talk to me. I stood up. Instead of Debi, Birdie walked up to me. Had it actually been Birdie with whom I had been talking earlier? – it now seemed like it. Birdie looked as if she were in her early 30s. She was attractive, but had lost the luster of youth. I was happy to see her, yet at the same time a bit ambivalent about being with her. She and I began talking as we walked again through the crowd.
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