Dream of:20 July 2002 "Frogs"
I was lying in a bed in a room in the29th Street House, a room off to the side of the living room. I was completely naked under some covers. My sister (about 30 years old) walked in. She began talking with me about my dreams. It seemed she had been reading my dreams on the web and she was interested in what I had said about her in some dreams. She still couldn't understand why I had this compulsion to write dreams. But she seemed to be trying to comprehend. However, she was still upset because I published dreams in which she and I had sexual contact.
For myself, I had also been contemplating the dreams in which she had appeared, and the dreams had revealed to me feelings which I hadn't previously recognized. The fact was that I had a physical attraction for my sister which had become part of my nature, and which I now realized would never go away. It seemed futile to deny the truth and recognizing the truth seemed somewhat liberating. For quite some time I had taken the stance that I didn't care about my sister and that I wanted to have nothing to do with her. But the truth was that I had a deep attachment for her. I couldn't speak for her; but I felt that she likewise had some special affection for me which was also part of her nature.
I invited her to lie down in the bed with me as we discussed my dreams. To my surprise, she did so. Her foot even touched my foot under the cover. If it were up to me, I would touch more of her; but I didn't think she was so inclined, so I simply continued talking. She wanted to know why I had created lists of dreams which contained various subjects. Why, she asked, did I not simply create a list of dreams in which I was the subject? I explained to her that if I wrote a list of dreams in which I was the subject, the list would contain all my dreams, since I was in all of them in one way or another. However, if I created lists of different subjects, those particular dreams – if read together – would tend to reveal fascinating information about that subject. For example, "frogs", I said, might be the subject. I could go back through all my dreams and do a search for frogs; I might end up with 20 dreams. Then I could compile a list of frog dreams and read them all together.
She stood back up from the bed. She looked at me full in the face with penetrating dark eyes. I stared back, scrutinizing her visage; I couldn't tell what she was thinking; I couldn't read behind her eyes. But I didn't sense repulsion; she still didn't seem to understand; but at least she didn't seem quite as repelled by what I was saying as I might have expected.
She was ready to leave; she said she was going to go to a furniture store withmy mother, and asked if I would like to go. I was surprised by the invitation. I really didn't much care about going with them; but I might. I pulled the cover back from my naked body. I could see my penis which seemed rather small. I was turned on my side so my sister couldn't see me unless she tried.
She walked from the room and I got dressed. A few minutes later she returned with my mother and her son William. My mother looked about 50 years old and William looked about 10. He was rather tall – probably about five feet. I had never paid much attention to him, and I was surprised to see he had grown up so fast. They were all ready to go to the furniture store and were waiting for me to decide whether I wanted to accompany them.
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