Dream of:02 February 2002 "Infinity"
I was sitting in a small, almost-empty room. Another fellow (probably in his mid 30s) was busily setting up chairs and a table in the room, as well as unpacking the contents of some boxes on the table. I understood he was preparing a display for a demonstration and a speech which he would be giving on an esoteric subject.
My thoughts were pursuing me, driving me into uncomfortable territory. I was thinking about my belief that the universe is somehow divided into two spheres of existence the sphere in which I was presently living, and the sphere I would inhabit when I died. In a jumble of thoughts I was trying to make sense of why anything mattered in my present living sphere if I were only going to be here for a short time. Yet my actions here did seem to matter, and it seemed that the infinite nature of each sphere was the reason. Even though I might die and leave this sphere, my actions would have infinite results in this sphere. Nevertheless, the concept of two separate spheres was immensely troubling.
All the while, the fellow continued with his activity. Finally it occurred to me that I might be able to talk to this fellow about what I was thinking. It seemed I rarely ever talked with anyone anymore about these topics. So I simply began talking about infinity. I told the fellow that I was having difficulty reconciling the two spheres of existence with infinity. I explained a bit what I meant by the two spheres of existence, and then stated that each sphere was infinite in time and space. But how was it possible that two separate spheres of existence could each be infinite in the same time and the same space?
When I repeated the word "infinity," the fellow replied, "Indian." I thought he had misunderstood me and I repeated, "Infinity." Again he replied, "Indian." Finally I understood he was disparagingly saying that infinity was an Indian (from India) term.
Something in his demeanor made me realize I might be making a mistake by being there. By now a woman (probably in her mid 30s) had joined him and was helping him set up. Growing increasingly suspicious, I asked them if their presentation was going to be "some kind of religious thing." I certainly didn't want to waste time on religious mumbo-jumbo. The woman answered, no, that it would be "pragmatic."
I saw through them by now. Obviously they were setting up a display for some who-knows-what kind of religion. I no longer wanted to stay. Besides, I suddenly realized I needed to write down everything which had just happened and post it on my web site. I had a small tablet with me, but I needed a bigger piece of paper to write on. I stood up and walked out of the room.
I walked through the hallway and at the end of the hall I found a library. Apparently I was in a college building. I walked inside and immediately saw a copy machine to my right. I thought I could take a few sheets of paper from it and use them to write on. But I felt it would be improper to take the paper; I would just have to write on my small tablet. As I headed toward the back of the room, I heard someone singing quite loudly to my left. Glancing in the direction of the singing, I was surprised to see Monica (with whom I first came in contact in 1967 when we were in the tenth grade together) sitting there singing. She looked as if she were a teenager; she had a big smile on her face. I walked back a little further, but I could still hear her singing. Abruptly I turned around and walked back out of the library.
I walked back down the hall, still thinking about what I would be writing. I was a little bothered by one part where I had been thinking I had no one to talk with about my thoughts. People would read this and think I never talked with anyone. That wasn't true; but it was true that I didn't seem to have anyone to talk with about ideas such as infinity which interested me. I wondered if my friend Donna would be reading what I wrote.
My feet had carried me back near the room where I had originally been. I didn't go right up to the door, because I didn't want anyone to see me and invite me back in. I could hear a voice which seemed to be coming from a tape player. Apparently the demonstration was in progress. I was surprised the voice seemed to be talking in Spanish. At least in Spanish it would have been more enjoyable to hear.
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