Dream of:09 January 2002 "Crippled"
Carolina and I had rented a small bare room for the night – actually several such rooms. I was thinking of performing oral sex on Carolina, planting my tongue in her black garden; but first I wanted to find a wet rag and clean her good – be sanitary. I walked to the bathroom, which was simply part of the same room. A urinal was against the wall – not actually a urinal – just a spot on the wall. Since I needed to relive myself, I began peeing, allowing a stream of urine to flow down the wall into what looked like a little gutter at the base of the wall. Even to me, this seemed so crass.
When I turned back to the main area of the room, several members of my family – including my father and my sister – were gathered before me. As it turned out, Carolina and I were not going to simply stay the night in the room; all of us were going to be living together in the little apartment. Since Carolina and I were obviously not going to be able to have sex now in front of my family members, I decided to do some exercises instead.
I wanted to stand on my head. I knelt down on the floor and pushed myself up on my head. Once I was positioned on my head, I began watching a television show about World War I. I understood World War I much better than I used to – I was now able to incorporate World War I into my historical time-line. However, aspects of the war were still unclear to me. I understood that World War I had ignited after a leader of one of the European countries had been killed in the Balkans, which had been divided up into many small countries. I concluded that after the leader had been killed, one of the smaller Balkan countries had declared war on one of the other small Balkan countries. One country after another had declared war until most of the countries of Europe had become involved. But I was still unsure of the names of the countries involved – especially in the Balkans – and how the countries had lined up against each other.
I stood up from my head stand; just as I was preparing to do another head stand, my sister stepped outside to look for a small dog of ours which had gotten loose. So I also walked outside to help her search for the dog. I was surprised to find that the front area of the apartment complex was a large pretty park of undulating hills and trees; a small pond stood off to the side. As my sister looked around for the dog, I thought I might do some exercises out here. I could still see the television through the open front door of the apartment; now a show was on about the American Civil War. Two generals – one for the north and one from the south – were discussing how they had attended school together and how they were now fighting on opposite sides in the war. The generals were standing in an area which looked almost exactly like the park in front of the apartment.
With me I had carried out a blanket which I intended to spread out for my exercises. I also found another small folded-up blanket lying on the ground; since no one was nearby, I concluded that the small blanket must have been abandoned; maybe I could use it to put my head on when I stood on my head. I placed the small blanket next to the larger one. Even though I was fully clothed and wore bulky shoes, I could still stand on my head. But should I do my exercises out here – especially standing on my head – in public? My father might not approve.
I had turned my head away from the blankets for a moment, and when I looked back, a fellow who looked crippled had scooted up on his bent-back legs to the smaller blanket which I had found; he was now scrutinizing the blanket. He looked homeless; he had a little pack of his belongings. Obviously he was thinking of taking my blanket. I hurried over to him and told him the blanket was mine. He scooted away.
A woman who managed the apartments stepped up to me. She told me she had forgotten to tell me that our dog needed to have a little sticker on its collar. She peeled off a sticker with an "N" on it and handed it to me. Apparently the sticker was supposed to signify that the dog had been vaccinated. I was uncertain I should put the sticker on the dog's collar because I didn't think the dog had been actually vaccinated. And anyway, I still needed to help my sister find the dog.
By now my father had also stepped outside with my brother Chris (12-13 years old) who was in his wheelchair. Perhaps Chris and my father could watch my blankets while I helped my sister find the dog. I asked them to keep an eye on the blankets, and then I walked off.
How many people lived in this apartment complex? I estimated that the complex contained 180 apartments. I also estimated that the owners collected $300 dollars per apartment per month; that would mean approximately $1,800 a day in rent. But many people probably defaulted on paying the rent; so the owners probably averaged around $1,500 a day. By my estimates, that was still enough to live on.
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