Dream of:24 August 2001 "Spiritual Or Material"
I had unexpectedly encountered my father walking around a large house. He appeared rather grotesque, almost not human. He was wearing a heavy filthy fur coat which almost seemed to be part of his body. He was extremely obese, sweaty and dirty; and he appeared to be quite ill.
As he stood towering above me, we began talking and almost immediately we fell into an argument concerning his estate. Calming down, he asked me if I would prefer that he give me a spiritual bequest, or a material one. I looked at him and blurted out that I wanted the material. To myself, I thought asking him for something spiritual was absurd: he was spiritually bankrupt. He had nothing spiritual to give. On the other hand, he had hoarded away many material possessions. I told him I wanted the gold, the land and the money.
As our discussion turned to the topic of his will, he threatened to cut me out of the will. I was surprised by what he said: I had thought he had probably already cut me out long ago.
I wanted to continue the discussion, but I noticed my sister sitting in the room. Although she was sitting over to the side and acting as if she were reading or writing something, I knew she was listening to everything my father and I were saying. I told my father to wait a minute, and I walked over to her.
She was wearing a red dress and looked about 30 years old. I told her I would like for her to leave. She paid me no attention. I told her that I knew she would be happy if my father cut me out of his will, and that I now understood my being cut out of the will had always been her goal. She acted as if she didn't know what I was talking about and she indicated she wasn't going to leave. I explained to her that I was having a private conversation with my father. When she continued to be intransigent, I called her a selfish bitch. I shouted that she had done everything she could to drive a wedge between my father and me. I told her she had been the one who had originally instigated the conflict between him and myself. Still she refused to leave; obviously she was determined to try to hear everything that my father and I said to each other.
I walked back to my father. Together we walked out onto a porch where my sister couldn't hear us. He said something about my doing something for him for the next six years. I knew he was offering me a reconciliation agreement, and I accepted. We embraced and he said he would keep me in his will. I wasn't completely satisfied with this, however, because I wanted to know what was in his will. He mumbled off some Latin sentences. I understood that he was saying that his property would be evenly divided between my sister and myself. I asked if my step-mother was in the will, and he said, no, that she would only receive property which he gave her during his life.
Still hugging, we lay down next to each other. Even though he was dirty and sweaty, I felt good hugging him. We hugged for several minutes; I felt very close to him. All our problems had been resolved.
My sister, however, was another matter. The breach between her and me was permanent. I had seen her for what she was selfish and self-centered; I would never embrace her again.
My father and I separated. I told him we could go to the Gallia County Farm, about an hour away by car. The question was whether we could go in his black pickup or my red BMW. He said he already planned to ride to the Farm with someone named Earl. I was uncertain whether I would ride along with him or go alone.
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