Dream of:
17 February 2001 "Following My Dreams"Birdie (35-40 years old) had come to visit me. She was somewhat haggard, but basically she had held up well over the years. She obviously wanted to be with me again, and I was seriously considering the possibility of taking up with her. Although we had already been together a couple days, I still hadn't had sex with her or even kissed her, even though it seemed obvious I could have sex with her if I wanted. Something was holding me back.
When I received a message from my father that he wanted to see me, Birdie and I went to the new office which my father was fixing up in the downtown area of a town. He was in the room when we walked in. Probably in his early 40s, he looked lively and animated. He said he had received something which pertained to Birdie which he wanted me to see: a video cassette. We sat down and he stuck the cassette into a machine. I didn't look directly at the picture, but I could see it out of the corner of my eye. It was clearly a sex video with Birdie in it. Also in the video was some kind of small creature -- either a little animal or a small baby, I couldn't tell. Obviously this was one of the most perverted videos imaginable. It appeared to portray sex acts with animals and babies. I could hardly bear to look at it. I had to turn my eyes away.
The video testified that Birdie had lived an extremely perverted life. Birdie came clean and began confessing that she had had sex with hundreds of men, that she had been a prostitute and that she had made sex videos. She talked about it as if it were nothing. It was incredible. I had no further doubts about whether I wanted to be with her -- I definitely did not.
When I noticed Birdie had long white fingernails, I thought I probably shouldn't say anything bad about her lest she attack me and scratch me with her fingernails.
The only question now in my mind was
Brandi. What about Brandi? What had happened to Brandi? I concluded I had reached the point where I needed to abandon any thoughts of Brandi.Suddenly a secretary entered the room and said there was a phone call for Birdie from "Tegucigalpa." My father and I looked at each other when we heard the name. I at first thought Tegucigalpa was a city in Mexico, then I thought Tegucigalpa might be in Central America. My father agreed that Tegucigalpa was in Central America, and he suggested Tegucigalpa might be the capital of Guatemala. I said Guatemala City was the capital of Guatemala, and I tried to recall the names of other countries in Central America. I felt sure Tegucigalpa was the capital of one, but I was unsure which one.
It seemed strange that Birdie had received a call from there. I figured that the caller was probably a drug dealer and that Birdie was involved in some kind of drug deal.
The caller had left a message for Birdie to return the call. The secretary had a cell phone and my father told Birdie she could use the cell phone to return the call. I knew the call would be long distance, but apparently my father didn't mind.
I sat down for a moment to think about how my father and I had been getting along lately. I could see my father and I were going to get along much better now that I wasn't going to be with Birdie. I wanted him to know I hadn't had sex with Birdie and I said to him, "I haven't touched her."
A black-haired fellow (about 25 years old) who apparently worked for my father walked into the room. In his hand my father held a pill bottle from which he had just taken a round orange pill (which I thought might be a Quaalude). The fellow also took a pill, then sat down on a couch directly across from me about a meter away. I asked him what the pills were. Before he could answer, I got a better look at the pills and I saw they were Alka Seltzers. If they had been Quaaludes, I might have wanted one, but I didn't want an Alka Seltzer, even though I thought they might taste good.
My father and the fellow began talking to each other. I sat thinking to myself how strange this all was. I also began thinking about my dreams. Before now, I hadn't been able to see how my dreams had helped me much over the years, but now I saw my dreams had led me to live a fairly good life. I hadn't lived an extraordinary life, but at least I had turned out somewhat normal. Following my dreams had caused me to do that.
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