Dream of: 25 November 2000 "Lost Spirituality"

I was sitting in the living room of the House in Patriot. About 30-40 people were in the House, including many of my relatives. My father walked in. Even though he and I hadn't been getting along well lately, I stood up and shook his hand. We sat back down for a while and talked about the "will" of my grandfather, who had basically left all his money to me and my sister. It seemed as if my father might have also been a beneficiary under the will.

My father wanted to change the will in some way which concerned my first cousins (one of my cousins was even sitting in the room). I was in possession of the will, and since my grandfather had already died, I maintained that the will couldn't be changed now. Besides, I knew my father had no intention of helping anyone -- he simply wanted to change the will to make it look as if he were helping someone. He didn't plan to give anything to anyone. I told him that he could change the will if he wanted, but changing the will was against the law, and he could end up going to jail.

The other people in the House began singing a religious song. I listened to the lyrics and finally I began singing along, "Is the memory of his name draining cherries in my heart?"

I started to cry. I was moved by the song, but I was also sad because I thought there would be no reconciliation between me and my father this time.

My father and I stood up and walked outside. My father began dancing about. He had some disks in his back pocket, some computer cds, which seemed somehow to symbolize money. He said something about how it would have been better if he had given that money to me and my sister. I said, "No, you miss the point. You lost your spirit."

I could tell my words upset him. I was trying to make the point that somewhere along the line, he had lost his spirituality. He obviously knew what I was talking about. I saw no hope for us ever getting back together. I walked back inside, where I found my mother.

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