Dream of: 08 January 2000 "Unattached"

Early in the morning, I had arrived at a spacious modern building in the downtown area of the metropolis where I was living. I had recently begun coming to this building every morning to visit either a university or a museum housed inside. I enjoyed this place and felt I was using my time wisely here.

Almost as soon as I had entered the building, I realized I had taken a wrong turn inside, and had stumbled into an unfamiliar area. As I looked around the large room in which I found myself, I saw myriad objects sitting on shelves around the room, and slowly I realized I was in some kind of second-hand store, probably a Goodwill. But this Goodwill was much better supplied than an ordinary Goodwilll. I was immediately intrigued by all the items. To my right I saw shelf after shelf of unusual exotic cameras. Behind some glass in front of me were dozens of shiny video cameras. Everything seemed clean and desirable, and I thought this would be a good place to shop.

In a matter of minutes I came upon something that was of tremendous interest: in front of me was some kind of gigantic organ, probably three meters tall and just as wide. It was constructed from light brown wood and was obviously old. But what was most surprising was that someone was sitting down at the organ and playing it. I soon realized the organ was in perfect playing condition. As I studied the organ more, I noticed some other people also gathered around the organ, each with some kind of ancient musical instrument. Finally I realized what was taking place. Nearby was a modern electrical organ which couldn't only simulate an organ, but probably all the musical instruments. Someone was at the modern organ, playing it, at the same time as the group around the old organ were playing their musical instruments. It was a contest! The musicians were trying to determine which sounded best – the old music or the modern electrical music. How exciting!

Finally I saw someone I knew, a woman (probably in her early 30s) whom I had recently met in the in the college or museum. She was quite attractive. We had only known each other a few days, but I was definitely interested in her. When she saw me, she spoke, and we began talking about the organ, wondering how old it was. I began looking at it more closely, trying to find a date. Finally I came across a row of patent pending dates. I ran my eyes over the dates, most from the 1800s, until I finally came to the date of 1918, the latest date, and I concluded that the organ must have been made about that time.

I turned back to the woman and told her of my discovery. She was so easy to talk with and I liked her so much; I wondered how she felt about me. We didn't really know each other well yet, and she didn't know much about me. For instance, I hadn't even told her yet that I wrote my dreams. I wondered how she would feel about me when she discovered what I wrote. But I also wondered how long I would want to be with the woman. If we really liked each other, maybe we would want to get married. But suddenly, I realized something – it wouldn't be necessary to marry the woman, even if I did really like her. In the past, it seemed that every time I had grown attached to a woman, I had felt as if I needed to be exclusively with her. But suddenly I knew I no longer needed to feel that way; it was much better to be close to someone without being attached.

Donna came to mind as an example. After I had met Donna, I had needed quite a long time to get to know her, to figure out who she was. I had been able to do so without becoming permanently attached to her. Now I felt as if I knew Donna almost as intimately as I might know someone with whom I was attached. I liked our relationship just the way it was, very close but not attached to each other.

Now I could see the possibility of having such a relationship with this woman. I would like to know her as well as I could, and have her know me; but I didn't want to be attached to her. I wanted to be free; I never wanted to be attached again. I had never before realized these kind of relationships were possible. The thought was liberating.

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