Dream of: 08 November 1999 "Not Ready To Die"

I couldn't remember where I was. I couldn't see anything, I couldn't even feel my body, although I had the impression I was lying on my back. Suddenly I realized what must have happened – I must have died. I didn't like the idea. I was disturbed that I didn't remember how I had died. Yet this was somewhat as I would have expected – that I would have died suddenly, without warning, and therefore I wouldn't have any memory of the death.

However, perhaps I was mistaken; perhaps I was only dreaming, and I was actually lying on my back in bed somewhere. But where could I be? As I tried to remember, I couldn't seem to recall much about my life, about who I had been, or where I had lived. I certainly couldn't recall any specific house or bed where I might be lying.

I tried harder and harder, thinking there must be somewhere which I could remember. Then suddenly I remembered – the Summerdale Drive House. Yes, I remembered I had lain down on the bed in the main bedroom. I must still be lying there, on my back with my eyes closed. That must be the answer. I hoped so much that were the case. I wasn't ready to die. I didn't want to be dead. I just wanted to wake up and find myself alive, lying in my own bed.

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